The Bibleman Adventure: Defeating The Shadow Of Doubt

August 15, 2017 § Leave a comment

Getting to the first episode of The Bibleman Adventure (even though the opening credits contains The Bibleman Show theme song) and not only the title of the show has been changed but a few things have been updated in a way. While previous episodes has Miles fighting solo as the character, this episode starts with him fighting alongside a sidekick by the name of Coats. And not only, he and Coats are aided by a sentient computer known as U.N.I.C.E. as voiced by Willie’s wife aka the villainess from a previous episode.

But as much as he got a sidekick, I now have a question that is in the same place as how did the Bible get into a dirt as I mention in a previous episode – Who is Coats and how did he became a sidekick? Forget it’s saying it’s god’s work and all but he just became a sidekick out of nowhere. The first we saw of him is within the same place Miles works at as the hero and no explanation is given on why he’s there. To also make it more awkward, he’s only his sidekick for few handle of episodes and he later got replaced for unknown reasons.

So we on to Defeating The Shadow of Doubt and we meet up with Kyla (Kyla Pratt) who is casting doubts about her life and religion thanks to her parents arguing constantly. As Bibleman tries to help her out, he discovers that a villain known as The Shadow of Doubt (Brian Lemmons) is behind this as he hides in the church’s basement, and with his own sidekick Ludicrous (Steve Weatherford). He tries to stop him but The Shadow of Doubt also puts Bibleman under the spell as he casts his own doubt.

He later against his own spell and with the help of Coats, you know the outcome to this by now. Bibleman defeated evil and Kyla is no longer questioning herself. Okay, before I get to this, I should mention that yeah, I know it’s a children’s show that aims to them about their own religion and understanding. It has a sense of education and campy fun mixed in but if there’s one I should bring it up, it’s that it’s becoming more copy and paste in terms of storyline.

Bibleman tries to help a child but discovers a villain is nearby, he fought the villain a couple of times and wins in the end. It was like that in a couple of episodes and a bunch more after that. While it did have changes, it’s becoming a bit repetitive. Oh well, I’ll still look up to the show because while I may expect a little is new in terms of plot synopsis, at least there are differences. And this might be surprising but The Shadow of Doubt will return in later episodes, although in different identities. Ludicrous however remains the same so we have Bibleman’s answer to Otis from the first two Superman movies I guess.

It’s nothing much unless you wanna see The Shadow of Doubt having his rap number or him along with Bibleman breaking the fourth wall (yeah, Bibleman is aware you are watching him now) but it’s already same-plot-different-take as I brought up. At least it’s starting to feel a step-up after seeing few episodes but I hope I’m not jinxing that and now I doubt (no pun intended) I gonna enjoy later episodes but we’ll see so under then, I gonna see if The Shadow of Doubt’s rap number got some vaporwave makeover or something.

Sharknado 5 (Pre-Review Announcement)

August 7, 2017 § Leave a comment

Today is the day Sharknado 5: Global Swarming airs on SyFy and while I have yet to watch and review it, I thought I should make a Pre-Review announcement regarding this movie and the franchise itself and the announcement is a hard one but I must say it so the news about it is this, I think I’m retiring myself from reviewing the franchise after this movie and for a number of reasons that I hope it’s understandable.

While I’m trying not to go repetitive on what I said before, I mention a bunch of times about my dislikeness that Sharknado is becoming a parody of its genre but I do have understanding on it thanks to me looking at Sharknado: Feeding Frenzy. However, I now felt that the parody route they are going for is way overexposed and repetitive on this. I honestly thought it was having three movies but the fourth one is kind of pushing it and now we have a fifth one and possibly more.

There’s more to parody route and again, it goes to overexposure but this movie is already known for being a celebrity cameo deathpool. The first movie kind of have it with Cousin Oliver being the first case and then we have a sequel that includes Kelly Osbourne, Robert Hays, Perez Hilton and even Jared Fogle fallen to their sharkbites. Everybody who’s famous, infamous or formerly famous wants in the action after it and it is really getting sad. While not seeing the fifth at this time of writing, I found out Nichelle Nichols, Chris Kattan and Today Australia’s Karl Stefanovic is in this. Seriously, Karl Stefanovic? The guy who he himself said that he’s the Donald Trump of Breakfast TV? Uh, fuck this shit.

The third point is that the franchise is really losing steam and while the fifth now focuses on Sharknadoes throughout the world, I have to wonder what point is there to this? The third one has peaked when Fin, April and Gil going to Space so what is there to go beyond it? Uh, I do also heard that the fifth one might involve time travel or something so I’m not sure but then again, I do find it obvious that it’s coming since when I watched 2 Lava 2 Lantula, there’s a scene where Kyle discusses the craziness on Florida and he heard news that makes Florida Man blushed including a story involving a time machine. An guy who was an intern to Colton West mentioned time machine as a Florida story so I don’t know, I expect the sixth one now to be called Sharknado 666 and that the plot reveals that Lucifer is responsible for the continuous Sharknado craze. I might be wrong but if not, then it means that The Asylum has read my shit and that I think I need to go in hiding after that assumption.

Last point and this is hard but I’ll explain it. I like bad movies as much as the next guy and I’m a sucker when it comes to movies by Ed Wood, Uwe Boll, Tommy Wiseau, Neil Breen and so on. And when it comes to Sharknado, it makes me delay my time reviewing each one because honestly, I have low-to-no expectations and whenever I decide to go watch this one, I immediately change my mind and watch something else instead many times. I’m only a fan of the franchise when it comes to the first movie and Heart of Sharkness. Heck, maybe the first sequel as well but anything else is really getting me annoyed and  not amused that I am surprised that this franchise is still a thing.

So I do apologize if I might not review the sixth one next year but do keep in mind that I never say never in any case and somewhere down the road, I might look into the movie beyond 2018 and anything left in the franchise that shouldn’t exist. Heck, if Jeff Fahey or Nicolas Cage or Bruce Campbell is involved in the next one or later, I’ll might go back to it but it’s my site and I’m putting my foot down on this one. So in a week or two, I’ll look into the fifth one and with no delays and whether I’ll like it or not, it depends but I am losing my interest more and more on this series and wish to move on so uh, this is my say on the matter so hope you understand.

2 Lava 2 Lantula

August 6, 2017 § Leave a comment

I mention this plenty of times that I will be reviewing this and now I have seen 2 Lava 2 Lantula, a sequel to Lavalantula that has Steve Guttenberg fighting against giant spiders coming out of lava. And it is good timing given that Sharknado 5: Global Swarming is airing this month so is this sequel worth the wait and am I having a deja vu feeling that Lavalantula follows Sharknado’s path being that it over-spoof the sci-fi monster genre in a cheap, get-the-joke manner? Well, the short answer is that why is Sharknado getting another sequel and not this one instead? Really, That train is already gone.


Uh, I’ll save that for Sharknado 5 later this month. To recap the first movie, Steve plays Colton West, a washed-up action star who suddenly becomes an unlikely hero in Los Angeles as he foughts those fantastical spiders while saving his family and friends in the process. Thanks to that, his heroism is what puts him back in the spotlight so how does the sequel follow-up? Well, let’s just say it opens up with Guttenberg and Michael Winslow in police uniform.


Colton and Marty (Michael Winslow) are filming their role for Clown Cops in Florida with director Josh (Josh Sussman) in the chair. But with his stepdaughter Raya (Michele Weaver) in Florida, she and her friends are caught up in the second wave of Lavalantulas, she tries to escape along with Daniella (Lorynn York) and hide but not before they encounter TJ (RJ Walker) and Bruck (Erron Jay) whom is inspired by Colton’s actions to become heroes themselves. Colton, Marty and Colton’s intern Kyle (Jimmy Bellinger) decides to fight spiders again while Colton goes and get his daughter to safety.


However, it seems Colton has a bit of competition with Colonel Jester (Martin Kove) and his man appearing in Florida to destroy Lavalantulas by their own means which includes planning to drop a nuke on the mother of all Lavalantulas known as The Gargantulantula. After getting his stepdaughter and TJ to safely following the deaths of Daniella and Bruck, he meets up with TJ’s father Hal (Raymond Forchion) who knows how to fly a plane and helps Colton stop The Gargantulantula in a similar way he did in a previous movie except with the use of fire-retardant that Hal used earlier. Colton himself falls to The Gargantulantula’s location with a package of fire retardants and survives leaving a sequel that I wish would come out this year to be honest.

And really, it is a solid sequel but this is a surprising thing to add. It lampoons more properly than Sharknado did even with Steve doing his gritty action hero style which I honestly laugh at and has some good references from Dr Strangelove to Crocodile Dundee. There is minor negatives but it’s not impactful to say the least. Instead of , the movie is directed by Nick Simon and while I haven’t seen his other stuff, he did well for this movie so hope he’ll do good stuff in the future. And now, I am set to review yet another Sharknado movie but not before a couple of things coming along first.

The Bibleman Show: Silencing The Gossip Queen

July 30, 2017 § Leave a comment

If there’s anything I should discuss about Bibleman that I haven’t, it’s that I should talk about his origin. And really, I should have since it’s part of the opening credits sequence, the origin has Miles living his wealthy life with money, success and so on but he feels like life is more than that and he rages out in rain while throwing his documents away. As he got to the ground, he discovers the bible in the dirt and then a light beams on him which signals the beginning of the hero. And since I talk about the origin, I should also over-analyse one part of it because it might be the weakest superhero origin I ever seen.

The question being why is the bible in the ground? I’m not sure if it’ll ever be followed up but this is quite possibly the question that I honestly wanna know the answer to. On one hand, it might be part of god’s plan but on another hand, it is caused by somebody who used to be a believer and he or she decide to toss it in the ground. And before anybody ask, it is possible Miles did it himself since he throw the documents out but we didn’t see he opening up the suitcase and shoot the bible there. Going back to somebody tossing the bible, there’s a scenario I should bring up which is what might happen if Miles didn’t rage-quit and the bible is left in the ground. Imagine somebody else found it and become God’s chosen superhero.

We may never know but for now, it is time to look at Silencing The Gossip Queen which is the final episode of The Bibleman Show (and don’t worry, I look at The Bibleman Adventure within next month). As Miles is doing his work, he is noticed by the villainess known simply as The Gossip Queen (Maylo McCaslin) as she orders her henchman Loose Lips and Blabbermouth (both uncredited) to kidnap Bibleman as well as breaking up the youth music group just by gossiping and guess what? That youth group is the same group of kids seen in last episode so at least continuity has been kept.

The two henchmen throw the gossip towards Ricky (Joe Carr) and the plan worked into some degree. As for Bibleman, he did get captured and is taking to The Gossip Queen before he is then let go (?!?) and with a bit of pain. He became fine quickly and help the group got back together before he has gone back to The Gossip Queen’s hideout and defeat her and her henchmen just by using his light saber while Gossip Queen uses her powers which got indirectly back to the three and they died. The episode ended with the group back together and Bibleman giving his thumbs up.

It’s a fairly weak episode but do I really expect anything much really. I could say the only positive part is that Willie got his wife to play the villain plus she and the henchmen have a musical number which is a first for Bibleman series to my knowledge. The downside is that she played it in a Jewish stereotype look which looks anti-semitic plus does Willie know that Jesus Christ is Jewish right? Then again, I’m going for current and more notable interpretation of the son of god and there’s more than one thanks to one episode of American Gods. And lastly, is it just me or is Loose Lips and Blabbermouth dressed somewhat familiar?

There is honestly a little much to discuss really since the plot is quick and simple but oh well, I got plenty of more to look at so it’s just another meh episode for me. I do expect further episodes to be like that but hey, I can be wrong.

Nine Lives

July 20, 2017 § Leave a comment

When it comes to Hollywood, actors and actresses have stumbled on one role that the masses have ripped to pieces. And those stars have done it maybe for a paycheck or something else but while some have escaped their dignity and be on better roles since then, many have little care and continue to work on crap that is so beneath them. Which is why I may like Dwayne Johnson right now but he should really fire his agent fast or else I’ll think of him as the “Adam Sandler of Action Movies”.

And here enters Kevin Spacey, a man who made a big break with Glengarry Glen Ross before he gained further notice in The Usual Suspects and American Beauty. Now he nearly got to a low point whether it’s a cameo in Goldmember or him as Lex Luthor in Superman Returns but even that, his role in those two that I mentioned are memorable. So when that moment came to him being a bad movie, we all know how to feel about it so Fred Claus? Nah, he’s fine. Horrible Bosses? Well, he appeared in a sequel. Nine Lives? Oh there we go. A movie where Frank Underwood became a cat.

This movie focuses on Tom Brand (Kevin Spacey) who is living the life. He is a CEO of a company that made him in a cover to Forbes, now married to his second wife Lara (Jennifer Ganer) and raising his second child Rebecca (Malina Weissman). Leading up to Rebecca’s birthday, she asked her dad for a cat and Tom at first refused since he doesn’t like cats but a chance made him get it anyway when he stumbled onto a pet store owned by Felix Perkins (Christopher Walken).

On his way home, he meets up with Ian Cox (Mark Consuelos) on top of the building which leads to them having an argument. An argument that is interrupted by a lightning strike that led to Tom falling along with his recently picked cat and nearly died but they crashed to a nearby window and Tom went into a coma. His mind however is transferred to cat and all he has to do is find ways to go back to his human form as well as trying to save his company and his family’s trust including his son David (Robbie Amell) who works with him.

This movie is bad and it is coming a mile away after we all seen the trailer. While the acting is fine at times, the storyline is a been-there-done-that routine involving a workaholic father is facing a crisis and the movie not only has noticeable bad CGI effects involving the cat but there’s a few involving base jumping and even Kevin going to the lift with green screen behind him.

This is definitely Kevin’s low career point but he did manage to get back up with him continuing playing his role in House of Cards and recently got praised in Baby Driver. As for others, uh, Christopher Walken is in his usual Walken-esque so him in a cat movie is as expected as that SNL skit where he’s an owner of cats.

Unless you want it for the family or for bad movie night entertainment, just avoid it since it’s another crap directed by Barry Sonnenfeld whom he’s a guy I forgot to bring up before the synopsis but then again, he hasn’t done much good since the first Men In Black movie so there’s not much bother. Then again, watching Nine Lives makes The Wild, Wild West look better by comparison. Eh, that is something I never thought I wrote. Oh well, I got Bibleman next week so hopefully it won’t be a episode in which he got turned into a cat or something.

The Bibleman Show: The Six Lies Of The Fibbler

July 9, 2017 § Leave a comment

Returning to my lookback series of reviews and it has been this long hasn’t it since this is the third Bibleman episode I’m reviewing and the last time I look at the show was five years ago. So much has radically changed since then and I have that much catching up to do so this week I am looking at an episode entitled The Six Lies Of The Fibbler and already I am concerned about the title. I mean, I get what the word “Fibbler” means since it’s a mix of fibber and liar but uh, it’s a children’s show and had I not known what that word means, I would have mistaken it for a supervillain who’s into children in a Stranger Danger manner.

But I do need to recap a bit about Bibleman and I find it a bit surprise that I didn’t look much in the back story on my previous two reviews. Bibleman is a show created by former child star Willie Aames and it not gained three different incarnations but also spawned live shows, an animated series, action figures and even a board game. Really, there’s also a video game that got few infamous reviews on YouTube. I did bring up years ago that it spawned a parody on MadTV in which Michael McDonald took on the role on Bibledube and I should reviewing those but given that each sketch’s runtime is few minutes, it’s best to stick where it’s parodied from instead.

The episode begins in the home of Miles Peterson (Willie Aames) as he walks to get his helmet. Also, his home looks like a mix of medieval batcave and 1950s horror movie laboratory with chemicals. We then meet with Ashley (Ashley Perry) who’s late to see her friends for their forthcoming rehearsal and under control by the villainous known as The Fibbler (Bill Murphy) who hides in the tree, she gives lying excuses to her friends. Bibleman himself appears and checks on the rehearsal but thought he saw something but forgets about it quickly.

Ashley’s friend Ryan (Roman Sienkiewicz) then apologizes for starting the argument and thought she could help out a cassette tape full of their music. Later on, The group performs on church and was set to perform more but Ashley forgot and continues to lie in front of her friends and Miles, even with The Fibbler in the room controlling her actions in front of her and her friends. Miles changes to Bibleman later and greets people before he finally notice The Fibbler and have a lightsaber-like fight.

The fight is stopped by one of Ashley’s friends who mentioned Ashley quits the group and The Fibbler disappeared. As Bibleman returns to the Eagle Gate (which is the name of his headquarters thanks to a narration speak during this episode), he checks on profiles of villains he fought like…

He then discovers The Fibbler’s profile and thanks lord for this. On the following day, Ashley’s friends talk about them letting Ashley know that they are there for her. Miles comes in and they left but not before he talks to one of them about what’s going on. He changes into Bibleman and meets with Ashley in an empty playground (again, nothing creepy at all) about what’s going on. After few bible verses and talk, Bibleman wants Ashley to be honest and she accepts before he presumably sends her home.

Ashley meets with her friends and apologizes to her friends about her lies. They forgiven her which angered The Fibbler. He then got discovered by Bibleman and they fought again before The Fibbler is defeated and killed off by his lightsaber electrocution. The episode then ends with Miles thanking god and the group performing their song even when the credits start rolling so yeah, the episode needs to finish up fast.

Okay, outside of musical numbers and few weird paedophilac-like overtones, this episode is pretty okay. It really has been five years since I’ve seen this and oh boy, there is more to look forward to so I’ll be looking at The Bibleman Show sometime in the future so much your calendar when I’m looking at Silencing The Gossip Queen in 2022. Fine fine, I shouldn’t lie but I will be looking at that episode within the next few weeks. That, and I’ll watch others within this year and later. Either that or I’ll be looking at Bibledude instead.

Moonlight

June 29, 2017 § Leave a comment

Ending LGBT Pride Movie Month and to recap, I have looked at a lesbian-themed movie that’s in the style of Franco and Lynch, a transgender love story that’s unique and quirky and a bisexual-themed movie that’s uh, a thing to exists! Where do I go from there? Well, you might have heard of this movie. It came out last year and it’s been mentioned by Richard Roeper, A.O. Scott and Peter Travers and it’s certified fresh in Rotten Tomatoes. Oh, and this movie became a main focus of some awards show that aired earlier this year. If you didn’t see the title above or the link address, the movie I’m talking about some film called Moonlight.

Yeah, I’m dropping the “have you heard of this?” act but if you never heard of it until now, then you must have woken up from a coma so welcome to 2017 and Donald Trump is now the President. Aside from that, it is a critically acclaimed movie that has won awards even with little-to-no marketing. Being a second movie by Barry Jenkins, he also have praise with 2008’s Medicine For Melancholy and also made a couple of short films. He also is a writer for The Leftovers but he mentioned that he didn’t do much. Still, the show is cool and messed up.

He did wrote and made this movie so let’s jump on the story. Divided into three time periods, this movie focuses on a coming of age story of Chiron (Alex Hibbert) who is discovered by Juan (Mahershala Ali) and befriended him as a father figure while Chiron is living with a drug-addicted mother Paula (Naomie Harris) and is an outcast to everybody in school except Kevin (Jaden Piner). Juan is teaching him to swim and other stuff and Chiron talked to Juan and other friend Teresa (Janelle Monáe) a bit about homosexuality including a slur he’s been called by other students.

The movie flashes forward to Chiron (Ashton Sanders) in high school who’s still being a loner living with his mother while being helped by Teresa (Juan passed away between those two periods). As he is getting troubled by Terrel (Patrick Decile), Kevin (Jharrel Jerome) is still friends with Chiron but upon one night, Chiron traveled to the beach in Miami and saw Kevin there which lead to them becoming affectionate. Their affection was short-lived a day later when Terrel asked Kevin to hit Chiron in a childhood game. The game tormented Chiron long enough that he later smashed a chair to Terrel and got arrested.

And we come to the third time period with Chiron (Travante Rhodes) living in Georgia dealing drugs and living a life different from his two previous ones. However, he got a sudden call from Kevin (André Holland) that he didn’t expect. He traveled back to Miami and rekindles with his mother who’s now off drugs and then meets with Kevin at the diner where their friendship remains intact. After the diner closed, Chiron is driving Kevin to his home and then revealed that he’s the only person he’s been intimate with ending the movie with Chiron and Kevin presumably becoming more than friends again.

This is an interesting movie and its praise is well-deserved. I don’t know if there’s anything to talk about the movie than it already has except with the fact that like Tangerine, this movie should have been on my “best of” list but it didn’t and I only first saw it early this year. It is a coming of age piece that focuses on emotions whether it’s friendship, sexual, tragic and anxiety and focuses on Chiron from a kid who’s a victim to the world to a leader who’s against it while not forgetting about the past. And I do have to bring up the elephant in the room which is simply this moment in the Academy Awards.

Yeah, it won best picture and not La La Land which led to a social media meltdown over this whether it’s those that think the other movie should have won or that the Oscars have fucked up or something else. I seen the show back when it aired and it was a disaster with the show turned into a very extended version of Jimmy Kimmel Live! and the best picture moment ended the nightmare whether it’s for better or worse. But in my opinion, Moonlight did deserve the award as well as best adapted screenplay and best supporting actor for Mahershala Ali. Had it not won, I would still reviewed the movie regardless.

It’s now time again for LGBT Pride Month to draw to a close and I must be getting back to reviewing stuff that’s not award-winning really. I’ll get back to this month next year again and this time I’ll expand it to see movies related to the plus portion of LGBT sexuality so we see what kind I’m looking forward to. So until then, hope you all happy pride month everybody.