RIP Leslie Nielsen

November 29, 2010 § Leave a comment

Now how do I remember one of the greatest comic actors of both the last century and the early parts of this one? He was dramatic in Forbidden Planet, He was involved in The Poseidon Adventure, He doesn’t wanna be called Shirley in Airplane! (also known as Flying High in Australia), He’s best remembered as Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun movies (I haven’t seen Police Squad that after this, I’m saving my cash for the DVD), He cast the devil out of Linda Blair in a comedic fashion, He’s the only Dracula I remember during the nineties (I haven’t seen the one with Gary Oldman), He’s weird enough to appear in Surf Ninjas, He’s enjoyable as Mr Magoo and an amnesiac Santa Claus, He was once Wrongfully Accused, He had his term as the President in Scary Movie sequels and He didn’t ruin anything about Superhero Movie. I’ve seen all those movies in my lifetime and I thought of him as The Immortal One since he doesn’t age a day since Airplane! but now he’s forever immortal in terms of the silver screen and even on the television screen. I never met him before his demise but I do know the guy so this is my eulogy to one of my favorite comics I ever known and I hoped he rest in peace.

And here are some clips…

And this clip shows Leslie’s attempt to be a dark villain so… I wanted to see this movie even before his passing so I’ve put it here anyway…

RIP Leslie Nielsen (1926-2010)



The Social Network

November 24, 2010 § Leave a comment

NOTE: This recently released movie will have Spoilers involved for one reason only… It’s based on real life situations (sort of) and it already basically happened that we already seen them on the news or something. I may break the rules of “No Spoilers” only on true story genre so if you never seen the movie, read the review anyway. Also, The movie is released weeks earlier so I’ve been busy.

If anybody out there remember my comments on “Just A Harmless Attack” about the Social Network and I mentioned something good about the Facebook section. Well, Guess What? I manage to see “The Social Network” on the opening day (in Australia, of course) and well… I’ve been a fan of David Fincher’s works since the first time I saw Fight Club (I didn’t see Seven until a little later) and the review makes me think of one thing – Is it in the better side of his movies like Zodiac or the worst side like Alien³?

The Social Network is actually based on Ben Mezrich’s bestseller “The Accidental Billionaires” which is partially based on the world you’re currently living in right now. It focuses on Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) who’s a Harvard Student being dumped by Erica Albright (Rooney Mara) and decide to do the payback by two things – He writes about the break-up on his LiveJournal blog and also set up the “FaceMash” site to which Harvard Student is hot and not. Hmm, I didn’t know Mark Zuckerberg is into Bastard Pop Genre.

Following FaceMash, Mark is approached by The Winklevoss Twins (both played by Armie Hammer) and their buddy Dustin Moskovitz (Joseph Mazzello) to set up the “Harvard Connections” site but here’s the thing – Mark instead ignores them and set up his own site known as “TheFacebook” and history was made. So that makes Mark Zuckerberg stealing their work and being a plagiarist? Well, It’s not proven since it’s based on a book that’s loosely based on a Real Life situation. And I don’t wanna see a movie called “The Harvard Connections” and it’ll be all about the Winklevosses.

So Mark Zuckerberg and now-former best friend Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield) are living the life of TheFacebook phenomenon but that’s before “Southland Tales” actor Justin Timberlake himself appears as Napster creator Sean Parker arrives on the scene and Mark and Eduardo’s friendship is dissolving. From having party in their house to Mark being influenced by Sean, It all goes nuts before Eduardo decides to break a laptop.

With two lawsuits and Sean Parker arrested, Mark Zuckerberg is facing his semi-social life as the notable creator of Facebook with controversies, lawsuits (I know that I already mentioned it) and so on. The movie is actually one of the best I’ve seen this year and perfect enough to get a couple of Academy Awards. It’s acting is brilliant, the soundtrack by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross is awesome and this take on this “true story” is kinda truthful. That’s all I can say for now.

Just A Harmless Attack #3: Dance Movies

November 14, 2010 § Leave a comment

Aah, Dance Movies. From the time when Vince Barbarino does his moves on disco to the second when the Swayze unleashes his moves, It was the best of times and the worst of times. However, The Worst has somehow went over the limit quite recently when you can listen to soundtrack that are autotuned to uh… Chris Brown giving his acting chops. I might say that the golden age of Dance Movie genre is long gone and Dance Dance Revolution is sadly not just an arcade game anymore.

So before I start this installment to “Just A Harmless Attack”, I should remind you that I’m only checking some of the movies involving this genre that’s released last decade as well this year and since those ones involves multicultural cast with their dance moves, I’m all for that. Because to be honest, I’m a bit old-fashioned since the last good movie released with the genre will have to be Honey and I just miss the days when those movies have some originality and anything else so just in case, You reading an article done by the person who preferred any movies released before the first one I’m gonna start of with…

Just Got Served – Long ago, I happen to see the movie and lost interest at how it involves. In fact, This make me not watch any Dance Movie after this and it’s because of the genre going downhill since this release. It’s about a group of dancers who wants their chance of freedom but with angst involved (with one of the characters getting shot) like several other movies. The movie might be minor box office success but it failed enough that it gained Omarion a couple of chart-topping hits and well this…

I never got the chance to see that spinoff and will I check it out? Dude, Have you looked at the cover? It’s like as if Kevin Federline shows us how to be better than Vanilla Ice, It could be that bad. On the plus side, I do like how South Park portrayed the movie in a comedic way with Lil’ Kim and everything.

Stomp The Yard – Okay, This one is a weird entry. It’s about dancers in the African-American University which I can take but with Ne-Yo and Chris Brown acting… Sure, I can deal with Ne-Yo acting but Chris Brown is a different story since we all know about the whole Rihanna controversy. Plus, It involves this dance craze known as Krump and it’s more of “Just Got Served for the College Set”. There is couple good parts like Chris Brown’s character getting killed off and the fact that the Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity & Sorority boycotted this movie. And the sad thing about that is The Alpha Phi Alpha later honored the filmmakers in the Frat’s 103rd Anniversary Convention. At least I’m glad that there’s no sequel coming out.

Make It Happen – Now let’s see this movie here… It has Mary Elizabeth Winstead in it. Sweet, I like her in few movies. Anything else, It’s exactly like Honey meaning no Serving or Krumping is involved. I guess I can see it. Now for the critical response, I can’t believe at what I’m checking. These reviews are harsh and it’s mentioned to have similarities with Save The Last Dance (which I like) and Flashdance (which is a bit overrated but anyway) plus it doesn’t show enough skin (and I don’t know what to think about that). Oh, And it’s mentioned that the Dance Moves are lazy and is nothing groundbreaking. Well, I seen the trailer and it looks okay. So if this is the worst movie to have Ramona Flowers herself, I don’t know what to do (but she did also star in Death Proof).

Step Up – And now for the main course, This movie and its sequels. I never seen it and prefer it to be easily forgotten. But like Twilight, It’s still fucking here. Why? I heard Step Up 2 is negatively criticized and then they made a second sequel which is in 3D. What is the point? It probably has the same clichés as other Dance Movies and the hope is that the movie ends with two main couples winning their passion or something. I may not be a serious clubber but after seeing the trailers for Step Up 3D not long ago, I prefer to go to some Gothic Club or Dungeons And Dragons Night. As for the soundtrack, It is sad that I think I heard the songs of Step Up 2 soundtrack and I think I should just stick to Dr Dre, 2Pac and Eminem’s early Pre-Encore material. So Step Up, You maybe a Box Office success but you also suck anyway.

So I’m done my part and stand by my comments. I could see “Make It Happen” but if there’s a chance I could review any of these other awful movies, It’s gonna be a little while longer. It’s mainly because I have a lot of stuff but then I’m scared shitless to see the Step Up franchise like I chickened out of Twilight just after seeing the first movie. And since those movies above have urban lifestyle and all, I’m not being a racist bastard like Michael fucking Richards (I’ve stopped watching Seinfeld reruns following that act) and already mentioned that I’m just a bit old-fashioned when it comes to these movies and music. So if you excuse me, I’m gonna drink to forget the first time I’ve seen You Got Served even though I’m doing that for years.

Asylum Seeker: The Terminators

November 3, 2010 § Leave a comment

The term “Robot”, “Cyborg” and “Android” have been within the Science Fiction culture since Mary Shelley have made a story about a monster that’s created from severed body parts. You know what? I’m not much convinced that the Frankenstein Monster is the first Robotic creation so I don’t know who came up with that example. Then again, Namor is considered to be “The First Mutant” according to the Marvel Universe.

So now we have a Terminator movie that is part of the Mockbuster genre. And before you say anything, It’s technically the third movie to be ripped off from James Cameron’s signature classic since there’s Lady Terminator and Bruno Mattei’s Terminator II (which that one is more of an Alien rip-off so that’s why I mentioned “technically” several words before this). It’s The Asylum’s own gem known as The Terminators and they certainly can’t think of a much superior title than this.

The movie begins in the Space Station Ferris Wheel (actual name of the ship not mentioned) when the space commandos have travelled there to fix… whatever’s the problem there. And then, One of the Terminator models have just gone postal for no reason. It then segues to the SkyNut Corporation (actual name of the company not mentioned) where the workers notice their beloved creations had gone berserk and terminate the whole humanity throughout the globe.

Then we get to Asylumtown #245 (actual name of the town not mentioned) where Sheriff Reed (A. Martinez) and the civilians noticed a nuke hitting the town of Asylumpolis #19 (Do I have to say it again?)… but without an added SFX shot of the Mushroom Cloud. Surprisingly, They just stand there and do nothing before the Cyborgs ended up in their town. Meanwhile, Chuck (Clint Browning) is cheating on his pregnant girlfriend Chloe (Lauren Walsh) while making whoopie with Tiffany (Lucinda Rogers)  in the warehouse before Chuck gets killed… and they didn’t notice what happened outside.

So while the cyborgs get berserk (even one of them repeatedly punch what is now a deceased corpse), Sheriff Reed and the survivors decide to escape the apocalypse and the following movie is just an cat-and-mouse chase so the movie has more action and lesser plot before Kurt (Jason London) uses his laser gun killing one of the cyborgs. The movie continues to be boring but it gained another additional character who is known as “Bronson” (played by Dustin Harnish) that’s so lame enough that I hope he will be killed off later on.

Strangely enough, There’s two continuity issues involving this movie while watching this – One is that Sheriff Reed disappeared midway in the movie before returning (meaning where did he go?) and why did they shot a scene that behind the cast is a noticeable car passing by. It may be a schlocky Asylum movie but I’m disturbed that the blurry car is left in the movie. So back to the movie and one of the survivors discover Tiffany and we also get probably the only (and stupid) dialogue from one of the cyborgs. They survived and reunited with others to get to the spacecraft to get to the Space Station Ferris Wheel so they could shut down every Cyborg in existence (even the self-aware sexbots in Japan could count).

And here’s the twist? Sheriff Reed is one of the “good” Cyborgs (which still doesn’t explain where he disappeared off to during the movie) and the movie has more characters getting killed before it leaves only Tiffany and Chloe to survive in the Space Station Ferris Wheel. So are we gonna get to the scene where they don’t know how to get back to Earth and… I don’t know became Lesbians or something.

While The Apocalypse is the most boring original flick in the Asylum canon, this mockbuster follows the path since there’s not much back story to be developed, the acting is kept to a low minimum and there are plotlines that should be established like how did the Cyborgs gone postal, where has Sheriff Reed gone before returning and whatever to these two female survivors. Aah, Lost manage to make sense with hundreds of plotholes but this movie doesn’t make sense at all. I do say one thing, Jason London is pretty much the highlight on this whole damn movie.

UPDATE: Well, It’s been a couple of days since I released this review and you’ve been wondering what’s with the fake names before “(actual name not given)” thing happening. Well, I’m trying to put the running jokes in the review similar to when I make those apologies on my “Mad Max” review. Well, I thought about changing it back but I like to make a review in a dumb sarcastic mode so here’s the alternatives and my additional opinions…

* Space Station Ferris Wheel is actually known as “Ellison Space Station” and its name is based upon Harlen Ellison, the guy who sued James Cameron for plagirising his stories for The Terminator. Wow, The Asylum did watch some movies. Oh, And the next time I see some space station resembling the Deep Space Nine on several movies will be forever retitled as “Space Station Ferris Wheel” since it’s kinda funny name.

*  The SkyNut Corporation is actually known as the company that creates the “Termination Robots” (and why brings to mind on that name?) who designed those “Terminator Robot 4” models of TR4. Hmm, I wonder what happened to the first three model designs (actually no since it might The Asylum to make prequels to this flick).

* Asylumpolis #19 is obviously Los Angeles. The reason is because several Asylum movies like this don’t normally specify when and where the movie sets in so I’m going for the Highlander “Seacouver” effect and rename cities as a joke title for the fun of it. Although, I don’t know much about the actual suburb name of “Asylumtown #245” but the IMDB lists it as either Oxnard or Santa Clarita since I never been anywhere outside of Australia… yet.

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