Asylum Seeker: The Terminators

November 3, 2010 § Leave a comment

The term “Robot”, “Cyborg” and “Android” have been within the Science Fiction culture since Mary Shelley have made a story about a monster that’s created from severed body parts. You know what? I’m not much convinced that the Frankenstein Monster is the first Robotic creation so I don’t know who came up with that example. Then again, Namor is considered to be “The First Mutant” according to the Marvel Universe.

So now we have a Terminator movie that is part of the Mockbuster genre. And before you say anything, It’s technically the third movie to be ripped off from James Cameron’s signature classic since there’s Lady Terminator and Bruno Mattei’s Terminator II (which that one is more of an Alien rip-off so that’s why I mentioned “technically” several words before this). It’s The Asylum’s own gem known as The Terminators and they certainly can’t think of a much superior title than this.

The movie begins in the Space Station Ferris Wheel (actual name of the ship not mentioned) when the space commandos have travelled there to fix… whatever’s the problem there. And then, One of the Terminator models have just gone postal for no reason. It then segues to the SkyNut Corporation (actual name of the company not mentioned) where the workers notice their beloved creations had gone berserk and terminate the whole humanity throughout the globe.

Then we get to Asylumtown #245 (actual name of the town not mentioned) where Sheriff Reed (A. Martinez) and the civilians noticed a nuke hitting the town of Asylumpolis #19 (Do I have to say it again?)… but without an added SFX shot of the Mushroom Cloud. Surprisingly, They just stand there and do nothing before the Cyborgs ended up in their town. Meanwhile, Chuck (Clint Browning) is cheating on his pregnant girlfriend Chloe (Lauren Walsh) while making whoopie with Tiffany (Lucinda Rogers)  in the warehouse before Chuck gets killed… and they didn’t notice what happened outside.

So while the cyborgs get berserk (even one of them repeatedly punch what is now a deceased corpse), Sheriff Reed and the survivors decide to escape the apocalypse and the following movie is just an cat-and-mouse chase so the movie has more action and lesser plot before Kurt (Jason London) uses his laser gun killing one of the cyborgs. The movie continues to be boring but it gained another additional character who is known as “Bronson” (played by Dustin Harnish) that’s so lame enough that I hope he will be killed off later on.

Strangely enough, There’s two continuity issues involving this movie while watching this – One is that Sheriff Reed disappeared midway in the movie before returning (meaning where did he go?) and why did they shot a scene that behind the cast is a noticeable car passing by. It may be a schlocky Asylum movie but I’m disturbed that the blurry car is left in the movie. So back to the movie and one of the survivors discover Tiffany and we also get probably the only (and stupid) dialogue from one of the cyborgs. They survived and reunited with others to get to the spacecraft to get to the Space Station Ferris Wheel so they could shut down every Cyborg in existence (even the self-aware sexbots in Japan could count).

And here’s the twist? Sheriff Reed is one of the “good” Cyborgs (which still doesn’t explain where he disappeared off to during the movie) and the movie has more characters getting killed before it leaves only Tiffany and Chloe to survive in the Space Station Ferris Wheel. So are we gonna get to the scene where they don’t know how to get back to Earth and… I don’t know became Lesbians or something.

While The Apocalypse is the most boring original flick in the Asylum canon, this mockbuster follows the path since there’s not much back story to be developed, the acting is kept to a low minimum and there are plotlines that should be established like how did the Cyborgs gone postal, where has Sheriff Reed gone before returning and whatever to these two female survivors. Aah, Lost manage to make sense with hundreds of plotholes but this movie doesn’t make sense at all. I do say one thing, Jason London is pretty much the highlight on this whole damn movie.

UPDATE: Well, It’s been a couple of days since I released this review and you’ve been wondering what’s with the fake names before “(actual name not given)” thing happening. Well, I’m trying to put the running jokes in the review similar to when I make those apologies on my “Mad Max” review. Well, I thought about changing it back but I like to make a review in a dumb sarcastic mode so here’s the alternatives and my additional opinions…

* Space Station Ferris Wheel is actually known as “Ellison Space Station” and its name is based upon Harlen Ellison, the guy who sued James Cameron for plagirising his stories for The Terminator. Wow, The Asylum did watch some movies. Oh, And the next time I see some space station resembling the Deep Space Nine on several movies will be forever retitled as “Space Station Ferris Wheel” since it’s kinda funny name.

*  The SkyNut Corporation is actually known as the company that creates the “Termination Robots” (and why brings to mind on that name?) who designed those “Terminator Robot 4” models of TR4. Hmm, I wonder what happened to the first three model designs (actually no since it might The Asylum to make prequels to this flick).

* Asylumpolis #19 is obviously Los Angeles. The reason is because several Asylum movies like this don’t normally specify when and where the movie sets in so I’m going for the Highlander “Seacouver” effect and rename cities as a joke title for the fun of it. Although, I don’t know much about the actual suburb name of “Asylumtown #245” but the IMDB lists it as either Oxnard or Santa Clarita since I never been anywhere outside of Australia… yet.

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