My Name Is Bruce

January 1, 2011 § Leave a comment

Back in 1978, Sam Raimi directed a little short film about a group of students going to some cabin only to discover the book of the dead and only one decide to escape. That certain short film known as Within The Woods evolved into an cult-favorite franchise known as either Evil Dead or Army Of Darkness (in terms of comic book spinoffs) and is a perfect timing for an average star known as Bruce Campbell to get the roles of awesomeness. In 2008, Dark Horse Indie Films decide to make Bruce Campbell a hero again in the horror-comedy My Name Is Bruce. I’m a Bruce Campbell fan and he might even be awesome in bad movies like Timequest.



The movie begins a police officer and a mayor playing their guitar, singing a song and breaking the fourth wall. I just hope it won’t be anything like that awful movie called Dead And Breakfast but instead we get to the point of two punk fanatics drinking beers and holding a collection of Bruce Campbell movies in the car. Then they went to a mysterious Graveyard area only to get scared by horny goth-like ladies (How come I know there’s gonna be a hot goth sex in a graveyard sooner or later?). One of the punks then discovered something that awakened Guan-Di (which sounds a bit like Robert Englund) and no… there’s no hot goth sex in the graveyard because these goth chicks along with one of the punks are the first set of victims. Then the Bruce Campbell punk fan escaped.



Then we get to Bruce Campbell in another Sci-Fi Original Movie (it’s still 2008 so this is before Sci-Fi became SyFy) with an badly costumed aliens involved. Bruce himself calls “cut” to the movie and he’s spending the time with the most obnoxious crew ever seen. He then got out of the set with the fanatic fanbase (If I were on a set of a Bruce Campbell movie? I would mellow down and be a normal guy) including a wheelchair guy who gets pushed off by Bruce himself because… he’s the most awesome jerk ever known.



Bruce then go to the same bar as Sam Raimi’s brother Ted (playing his agent) and is angry about the movie he’s currently starring in (It’s called Cavealien 2 and the DVD of the movie I’m reviewing includes the fake trailer). As for Ted, he acts like a bastard agent who even knows Bruce’s birthday. We then cut to the mother-and-son family driving on a four-wheel drive vehicle (Hmm, How Cliche is that?) before Guan-Di nearly killed the kid but the monster has one weakness… the rice that the kid is eating. Back to Bruce Campbell who’s living in a caravan. Damn, I know Bruce is a bit cult-favorite actor but I didn’t know the creators of Burn Notice stabbed him in the back with that. Bruce then meets up with his dog and watches Hollywood Now (an Entertainment Tonight parody) which involves Bruce being “disappeared” from the major public eye.



He then calls his ex-wife (who’s now in relationship with Bruce’s agent) but nothing goes before Jeff (Taylor Sharpe) who’s a fan from the town of Gold Lick arrives and talks to Bruce about the Guan-Di which he though was a prank. And I fucking knew it, That cop-and-mayor singing duo returned to sing the exact the same song (it’s not fucking There’s Something About Mary, you know). It cuts back to Bruce in a trunk still thinking it’s a total prank and I like that in-joke from Army of Darkness (the in-joke involving Fangoria magazine in a truck) before it cuts back to Gold Lick with hopefully two victims in another caravan. Then we cut to… Ted Raimi as a french sign painter of Gold Lick. Uh, Okay.



Bruce is then in Gold Licks and tries to a Ladies Man kind-of jerk when he see a hot chick Kelly (Grace Thorsen) who’s also Jeff’s mother. Meanwhile on the set of Cavealiens 2, Bruce is replaced by the stunt-dummy (that’s kinda funny). Returning to Bruce who still thinks about the kidnap prank is the best birthday present he’s ever gotten and pretends to be a heroic type for publicity. And then, Ted Raimi plays another character and it’s a bad old chinese man stereotype so if anybody wanna see a Bruce Campbell movie with Rob Scheider involved… This is sadly close enough. Ted Raimi just became racially insensitive in the same way Mickey Rooney did in Breakfast At Tiffany’s.



It’s night at Bruce is in Jeb’s room with lots of Bruce Campbell material (even an awesome poster that I gonna buy) before Bruce and Jeb is in the barndance party. On the other side of town, Guan-Di kills two more victims including a bumbling police officer. Returning to Bruce as he hit it off with Kelly with the stupidest dance in film which nearly results to their kiss. But with the townspeople interrupting his potential sexytime, Bruce is gained a weapon (which is a chainsaw) and his backup crew of townspeople. However, Bruce discovered that the Guan-Di is real and retreats.



Bruce attempts to escape Gold Licks and he did. So after French Sign Painter Ted Raimi being killed off, We get the singing duo singing the same song yet again. Bruce is then returned to his home and is facing his life as a coward with his future of bad Cavealien sequel scripts. After getting a phonecall from Jeff, Bruce became disillusion with his guilty conscience (meaning we get to see Bruce Campbell as both an angel and devil) involved which results him to go back to Gold Licks to become the hero he intended. Jeff is then afraid of killing the Guan-Di and it’s up to Bruce and Kelly to stop him from getting killed. And now, I’m waiting for the battle that’s worth waiting for.



While Bruce is fighting the Guan-Di, Kelly then meets Wing (aka Chinese Ted Raimi) and steals the only other weakness to Guan-Di… Tofu! The result is that Chinese Ted Raimi is killed by Guan-Di and the battle continues. So to skip the battle, Bruce Campbell survives and saves the further townspeople from getting killed. Oh, And it leads to a cliffhanger… before cutting to a scene with the actual Bruce Campbell demanding a happy ending. So I just watched the whole movie-within-an-horror-movie-that-contains-an-clip-of-an bad-horror-movie! Uh, My headache hurts but Bruce is getting his when his “happy” ending is invaded by the actual Guan-Di. The movie ends with that annoying song again and this time it’s an ending credit montage type (before they got killed by the Guan-Di themselves).



All in all, This movie is recommended even with the bad singing duo and Ted Raimi playing two racial insensitive roles. But do yourself a favor and get the two-disc edition even if you’re not a Bruce Campbell follower. It’s now a matter of time before we see a sequel to this or Bubba Ho-Tep… or Evil Dead… or anything else that makes Bruce Campbell the best B-Actor in the world.


Asylum Seeker’s Mini-Bonus Review – Countdown: Jersusalem

Like The Apocalypse, This is another Asylum movie that’s associated with Faith Films. But unlike The Apocalypse, this movie is a bit okay. It focuses on Allison (Kim Little) whom after discovered her daughter has mysteriously disappeared, She goes on searching for her which leads to her former husband’s last whereabouts in Israel. However, She didn’t notice that she is witnessing the Apocalypse which involves the Middle East Peace breaking down, earthquakes in both Los Angeles and Tokyo (with a twister addition to the L.A. itself) and an man-made explosion in an Israeli temple. This movie is more like a Jodie Foster thriller type than the average Apocalyptic movie and while it does have the Asylum filming technique of filler scenes, there is some scenes involving good CGI (Twister in L.A. and bombings in Israel is an example), it doesn’t really come off as yet another heavy dose of Eschploitation so it’ll be recommended for curiosity only.


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