The Governator

January 13, 2011 § Leave a comment

This month marks the time when something is possible like Axel Alonso taking over Joe Quesada’s position at Marvel and Season Of The Witch is the worst movie to star Nicholas Cage ever but nothing more is a bit celebrating than the time he left the office and possibly making a comeback in the acting game… Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Seriously, We might get to see a movie with the name “Arnold Schwarzengger” attached on a poster again if he’s not doing other political decisions. And Sure, He was in The Expendables but that was just a bit part. We just need him fighting bad guys, saying corny one-liners and anything else. I’m just gonna say that Arnold may not be immortal so all of us have one life and we have to do what counts… except Kenneth from 30 Rock who’s actually immortal.

Now, I’m gonna take a comic review reflecting his career called simply The Governator, one of the parodic comics published by Antarctic Press. This has action. This has one-liners and this even have Cameos including an awesome cover so what’s not to love about this?

The comic begins with Conan-style prologue that makes me imagine it being said by Mako but it’s narrated by an intern so… this sucks. Also, California is now renamed as Kahlifornia in the Prologue. Why? It’s a parody comic about Jack Slater himself and California’s name is changed. Uh, Moving On. We then meet Mary Blake the intern who’s now on the mission for… something. And here’s the Austrian Death Machine himself doing weights in front of the intern and talking about Parties and stuff. Arnie then hears the doorbell and guess who’s at the door? It’s Sly Stallion and Chuck Morris. Wait, What?

First California and now this, well it is a parody comic. They explain about some Legislation to stop using Special Effects and start using Holograms which ended career for Celebrities (even though Chuck Norris retired from acting in 2005). And speaking of Chuck Norris, His counterpart is trying to go Internet Meme on us with lines like “Earth. One Of The Twelve Moons… That Revolve Around Chuck Morris!” and I don’t know if it’s taken from Chuck Norris facts but moving on. And then, Arnie and Mary is riding through the Humvee which smashes various cars with innocent drivers and passengers.

Then the two went to Arnie’s Private Jet before they got attacked by a force known as… Collateral Damage! Uh, And this is probably the best part of the comic as we see Arnie riding on a missile… Seriously, This is the part I don’t see in any of his movies and it is AWESOME! He somehow survives the big fall but left himself naked… oh, and Mary somehow ended up there in a matter of seconds!

So after Mary gets a glimpse of the “Mini-Arnie”, Arnie returned to clothing before he dukes it out with remaining members of Collateral Damage and even with the fight being a bit cliché – He needs a Weapon. So he gets a known simply as “Da Choppah” (he even mentions… you know) and the fight ended with an explosion that lands Arnie in a Hospital. He had a short-lived concussion and uh, not again…

And to end this comic, The Collateral Damage won the battle, Holographic Actors are here to stay and there’s no second issue to resolve this comic. Oh, Dammit! This comic is hilarious and action-packed and no second issue… Big Mistake, Antarctic Press. This may seem like the worst cliffhanger I’ve seen in a comic book but despite it being a Parody, I’m sad that there won’t be The Governator II: Get Your Ass To California. And you know what has suddenly have a Second Issue? Fame: Lady Gaga and yeah, I’m gonna review the first issue in the next review. Oh My Gosh, I’m reviewing something about Lady Gaga!


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