The Twilight Saga: New Moon

April 19, 2011 § Leave a comment

NOTE: The previous review has me mention the actor’s names so I won’t bother putting “Edward (Robert Pattison)” or “Bella (Kristen Stewart )” but I do add new ones anyway so enjoy my review.

Oh Good Gosh! I have finally watched New Moon and it’s like the first one but now five percent taken off the boring part. I’m kinda afraid to see this but I must choose to face it and it’s not really worst than Death. After watching this movie, I thought of sending the review right away but the boredom caused me to enjoy my free time looking at the forums, the music and the videos. Heck, I even nearly thought of taking an actual break and just in case, the break of February 2011 doesn’t count.

And how should I start this movie? Well, I already thought of this one…

The movie begins with a prophetic dream sequence involving her running within the Red Monks and becoming her dead grandmother in front of Edward… This dream is so stupid that it makes the dream sequence of the next movie I’m gonna review a bit better. So Bella wakes up celebrating her birthday like getting kissed by Edward, got a dreamcatcher from Jacob as a gift and nearly got attacked by Jasper Cullen (Jackson Rathbone).

Following the near attack, The Cullens decide to move away which results to Edward breaking up with Bella. So what does she do after the breakup? She sleeps in the woods only to get discovered by Sam Uley (Chaske Spencer) while being shirtless. But To Be Fair, It’s not the most shocking part of the movie. So she takes the breakup badly that made her stand in her room from October to December… Oh, I’m not kidding about that because that actually happen. She stands in one spot in her own room for three whole months.

But there’s a way to forget about the breakup and that is having a Girls Night Out with Jessica (Anna Kendrick) but she is instead fascinated with Edward’s ghostlike figures that made her taking a short bike ride with… a middle-aged biker! Oh, and the attempted gangbang from the first movie is shown again in a flashback… Now that is the most shocking part of the movie and the one before. But she ditches the biker and tries to become a biker herself and to do that, she needs a motorbike which is under repairs by Jacob Black.

And that’s when we get a Bella & Jacob montage and scenes of filler, I can’t wait to see Eclipse but I don’t have it. She is later rejoining her mortal friends and Mike (Michael Welch) asked her for a date again (he asked her on the last movie) and she accepts but with one problem – It’s a threesome date with Jacob Black. So they see this horror movie and Mike has gone to the toilet to throw up. Jacob comforts Bella before something I wish would have happen in the movie – Jacob beating the shit out of Mike. I just wish that ever happened.

It’s Next Day and Jacob has gotten himself a haircut. Oh, And he tries to end his friendship with Bella because he’s a “bad person”. She wanders alone and that’s before Laurent (Edi Gathegi) shown up about to get a bloodsucking feast. However, Jacob and his buddies rescued her and eating Laurent in the process. I forgot to mention that there was a beheading flashback sequence earlier so this movie may seem graphic but it’s not.

A day following that attack, Bella wanted to see Jacob before Sam and the other bare-chested werewolves shown up and she discovers the Werewolf Attack. However, the remaining werewolves take Bella to Sam’s wife’s house and the fight seems to be over. I’m bored that I’m going pass that story and the fillers to Victoria making an attack while Bella does her cliff diving before she’s saved by Jacob. Yeah, That’s how I see it.

Jacob takes Bella home and guess what? Alice Cullen (Ashley Greene) shows up and she had a minor conflict with Jacob. As for Edward, He thinks Bella’s dead so what does he do? Try to kill himself. So Bella and Alice had gone to Italy to stop it and they succeeded but not without meeting the members of Volturi including Dakota Fanning here. Yeah, This movie has one star quality and it’s the girl who starred in Cat In The Hat.

I was actually barely asleep at this point so what I remember there is there’s a fight, we get Bella as a Vampire and I don’t know but I’ve stopped for a couple of minutes and had myself a mocha. Okay, The Cullens are back in Forks, Jacob warns Edward not to turn Bella into a vampire and Edward proposing to Bella which now ended this movie.

The movie is like the Twilight but there is very good parts (The beheading flashback, Mike getting sick and even the Shakespeare part which is surprising), it kinda builds up okay on the first-and-a-half part while the remaining parts of the movie nearly made me asleep. You know what? I think I found a movie that can make me go to sleep whenever I have Insomnia. And the good news is that I don’t have Eclipse so I don’t know if I review it or not but there is a bad news – I do have five directorial movies by the Seltzerbergs. So If I don’t make it to the first review then Goodbye Cruel World!

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