Seltzerberg-A-Thon Day 1: Date Movie
April 26, 2011 § Leave a comment
I’m Unhappy About This. First of all, I finally see New Moon and survived it. And Then, I don’t have Eclipse and thought I was free from the agony but it’s gonna get worst. How Worst? I have to watch every directorial movie by Seltzer and Friedberg… and in a single week. Does these guys need introductions here? Because I would throw in their introductions so let’s get on with it.
Okay, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg are the most notorious team in Hollywood whom caused the death of the Spoof Genre (as I already mentioned in a screencaption above). Instead of using the style of Jim Abrahams and the Zucker brothers, They decide to watch the news and movie trailers which is used as “jokes” for their own movies… well, they presumably seen 300 and Twilight so they spoofed that as well. And what’s with the name known as Seltzerberg? Do you see the news about “The Lucasberg” single handedly kill the Indiana Jones franchise by putting Shia LaPoop as Indy’s Son? Fuck No.
So on the first day of this five-day review special, I’ll start with their most successful movie ever released known as Date Movie. And I’m going through Story Mode… Kind Of.
While I’m putting on the DVD, It starts with a preview of King Of The Hill and American Dad! Oh Sweet, Two trailers that’ll start off the annoyance. But the movie actually begins with Julia (Alyson Hannigan) waking up from recurring nightmares about not getting married with… Napoleon Dynamite! Uh Whatever. She then decides to do a dancing montage before we get to see her work in a Greek Diner co-owned by her boss and father Frank (Eddie Griffin). Wait, Eddie Griffin?
There, She meets her love interest Grant (Adam Campbell) but a misstep has Grant falling down. Later On, She went to Hitch (Tony Cox) and needed love so badly that she revealed her makeover by getting pimped out! She now becomes one of the contestants of The Extreme Bachelor where the bachelor is surprisingly Grant himself. What are the fucking odds? He then eliminate the other contestants by shooting.
After few minutes, Grant coincidentally choose Julia and won a good prize: Having a Date at “A Restaurant” (which is what the host Chris Harrison said) which involves Grant orgasmed by himself and a flashback involving Julia’s Audition Tape. Oh, And they were about to have their first sex scene which is watched by her old-aged neighbour. Grant then meets Julia’s parents and nothing much but Jinxer the cat doing a over-the-minute shitting in the toilet and shagging a decompose body of Julia’s grandmother that was hidden in the Urn!
It’s night and following an Unfunny Background Event involving Michael Jackson, Grant proposed to Julia (with Frodo, Gandalf and Samwise involved) and Julia (along with her parents) meets Grant’s parents that are played by Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge. And there’s alotta useless sex jokes involved so what’s next? A perfect fanservice of Sophie Monk?
Sophie Monk plays Grant’s best woman/ex-fiancée Andy and… she takes her bikini suit off in public! It’s too bad that this movie is PG-13 so moving to how Julia gained telepathic abilities. Well, She tried on a wedding dress along with Andy and got electrocuted which results to a Kill Bill parody fighting (that goes nowhere since we getting long pointless flashbacks instead).
Then we get to the Rehearsal Dinner with special useless appearance by Lil’ Jon. They also get a musical number (which is stupid) and that’s about it so let’s go Wedding Day where Julia is squeezing a fake zit in a close-up shot. Uh, Ew! By The Way, The Wedding is off because of a shitty parody of My Best Friend’s Wedding has happened. And then, Grant does what John Cusack and other lonely blokes does after the wedding.
Julia is nearly forced to marry her co-worker Nicky (Judah Friedlander) but the wedding is not gonna happen as well plus we get a Product Placement that is pointless enough. She then reads a magazine article by Grant and decides to reunite with him (while Grant is looking like a blonde-haired Jesus) and the movie ends like any other romantic movies they’re spoofing – Grant dancing to the Elevator Music.
No, The movie ends with Julia and Grant reunited so like any other romantic movie with a happy clichéd ending like getting married and Carmen Electra in a parody of King Kong. Dammit, The tribe even chanted Carmen Electra’s name but that’s the end with bloopers involved.
The movie is fairly boring but unlike the other movies directed by them, It’s strangely keeping the movie very plotwise and felt like it’s nearly a straight-forward spoof movie. But given the fact, it has stupid parodies and pop culture references, the acting is a so-so and it’s a little annoying. So seeing as this is first movie directed by Seltzer and Friedberg, This is an okay start but the darkness is near.
NEXT: Epic Movie – No, I’m putting an Epic Fail joke here.