Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

July 16, 2011 § Leave a comment

This one is tough enough to review because I’ve recently seen Transformers: Dark of the Moon and in 3D format. Yeah, Watching the movie in 3D with a headache is one thing but how about a Michael Bay movie in 3D? You have several minutes of explosions, Shia LaBeouf screaming, explosions, annoying immature jokes, explosions, robot fighting and of course, EXPLOSIONS. But I do say this – If this movie is longer and dumber than Revenge of the Fallen, I would be in Hospital screaming in agony right now.

I could spoil a little than a whole lot but to tell you a truth – In Plotwise, It’s the same shit as the other two movies. You know, The story about Shia LaBeouf trying to be a hero while the Autobots are fighting the Decepticons to save the world. And honestly, I read what Shia LaBeouf said in a interview that this movie is better because it’s bloody and tragic. Well, It did improve a little than the other two movies and it is bloody and tragic but it doesn’t help since it’s Michael Bay directing a Transformers movie. Heck, I bet The Asylum might make a third Transmorphers movie, eh.

Okay, Forget about that so let’s move on. Now, A short story of the movie is that it involves The Autobots going to the Moon to retrieve their old leader Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy) in hopes that the Decepticons won’t do the same. While Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is doing his daily life but this time – He’s now looking for a job including one owned by John Malkovich which his role is sadly more useless than Eragon. Also, He’s got a new girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) who’s british and much better than Megan Fox so at least it counts for something. Oh, And she’s working for (Patrick Dempsey) who has something up his sleeves.

Now I’ve said that the movie is the same as the other two and the fact that it improves a little so let me say something that’s both good and bad. First the good part which is the second half of the movie because it involves the Decepticon Invasion of Chicago which is surprisingly good in a Michael Bay manner. He might had use the “Disaster Movie” approach and it involves deaths and destruction that you would have seen in a Roland Emmerich movie. There is some faults here and there but we went to see Transformers for one thing – Robots Fighting.

And then there’s the bad parts and oh, there is indeed some massive bad parts. First, The Humor is still immature and stupid which the worst roles of Dr Ken Jeong and Alan Tudyk that I have ever seen. Ken Jeong is painfully playing Deep Wang and his role is fucked up that it must be seen to believe. As for Alan, He played Seymour’s Ambiguously Gay Russian Secret Agent which I felt that he’s trying to be typecasted from Dodgeball rather than getting good parts. But he at least isn’t DEEP FUCKING WANG.

And who could forget Shia LaBeouf? He may be a tad bit okay in the first movie and I don’t wanna get to the second but his role is horrendous but his role here looks like he’s taking enough ecstasy and other drugs that he is annoying, he has bizarre anger outbursts and he shouts when the Autobots are attacked by the Decepticons especially the car chase scene. I do admit that the part in the second half that involves McDreamy himself is okay but what the fuck? This guy is a hero… He’s more of a Mary Sue character that is mistaken for a Marty Sue character. I am glad that he doesn’t return for a fourth installment (or a reboot) of The Transformers franchise because I hated Shia LaBeouf more than ever.

As for other roles, It’s ranged from good to pointless which includes Carly’s British Accent that I liked to Patrick Dempsey’s role that’s okay to the uselessness of John Malkovich. Oh, And remember that you can’t tell the Transformers apart other than colours in the previous movies – It applies here as well but at least there’s no Skids and Mudflap… But we did get Wheelie and Brains instead.

And lastly, I’m pretty sure that the theatrical version of the movie is incomplete and there might be an extended version in the future because one of the scenes has Wheelie and Brains talking when one of them almost said “Clusterfuck” but it immediately goes to the next scene seeing as Kids don’t wanna know the robots curse a lot. I dunno but if You’re interest to see this? Either watch it on 2D, Wait for the Home Release or even get the IDW-Published Comic Book Adaptation which might be better than the movie itself and at least you won’t get the dizzy headache that I had gotten.

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