A Woops! Christmas Special

December 25, 2011 § Leave a comment

Well, Christmas is already here and I do get a handle of gifts this year like a gift card for DVD rentals, a modem that I’m not sure will work and good handle of cash to get my goodies. So I’m trying to find a christmas stuff but nothing here and there. Instead, I went to my stash of bootleg goodies and I could review something like Tales From the Crypt’s Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas album or Max Headroom’s Giant Christmas Turkey special but I should review something very, very bad. And here’s what is considered one of the worse sitcoms in existence.

Invented by the minds that brought us Blossom, This show… somehow exists. I don’t know how this gets its airings and why it exists. Despite it being known as one of the worst sitcoms, I wouldn’t call it that “worst sitcom” really. It does have very little jokes, it’s sort-of creative and it has okay cast members like Cleavant Derricks (I already acknowledged that I’m a Sliders fan so moving on), That chick from Groundhog Day and even Charlie Runkle from Californication… With Hair!!!

But before I’ll get to the christmas episode known as Say It Ain’t So Santa, Let me give you how the world ends by showing the first couple of minutes of the pilot episode…

You got that? A single nuclear bomb has destroyed nearly the whole world and wiped the ruins out (which makes me wonder if the staff has ever checked out info on Hiroshima or watched The Day After), A school teacher has somehow survived with a Volvo and the only farm in existence which raises a question on how it survived intact (and the same goes for the Volvo). This is the kind of plot details that makes that scene from Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull look like it’s scientifically accurate.

No time to waste, I’m getting straight through the episode. As Christmas is approaching, The girls are making preparations indoors while the guys come in with a burned tree. About to start the fire, Mark (Evan Handler) decide to start the fireplace but then discovered another survivor is there and you know who it is since it’s an episode set direct to the holiday season. Santa escapes the chimney (which he’s being stuck in since before Thanksgiving) and the group tries to check if he’s the real deal.

Jack Connors (Fred Applegate) explained that the reindeers ditched the man with the white beard and the group continues to check. After few explanations, The guys believed that’s Kris Kringle and well… Santa brings the group down a bit and decides to get drunk on cups of Eggnog, being annoyed and revealed his hidden shame – He’s responsible for the death of his wife and bunch of elves because he forgot to lock the bomb shelter. Jack then went childish and is a non-believer on christmas.

While Jack is still angry, Santa Claus decides to change his name to “Clem” and tries to do chores but his chores has led to bad Christmas humor. Since it doesn’t help, “Clem” decides to leave but doesn’t know how to open the door and Jack decides to believe in the man in the red suit. All is forgiven and Santa (no longer called “Clem”) prepares to search for other survivors while the reindeers returned. On Christmas Day, The tree miraculously became like the one in our living and everybody but Alice McConnell (Meagen Fey) got christmas gifts. And if you’re wondering why Alice don’t get gifts, She’s the only jewish person on earth so the show ends like that.

Again, This show exists and this episode surprisingly got aired. I don’t know why they think this is funny because there is one or two jokes but all in all, this episode is about Santa fallen into depression and has little shadows to reveal to the other survivors. I don’t find that funny and I could simply say this is a bad Christmas episode, It’s not worst since I’ve seen Star Wars Holiday Special and that Nanny episode but it’s bad… and I haven’t even told you about 7-and-½ episodes yet. Why I say half on that? Because one of the episodes I’ve got is missing the first. But I hope this review doesn’t get you down like the man himself so I wish you all merry Christmas.

Asylum Seeker: 666 – The Beast

December 24, 2011 § Leave a comment

Oh Boy, I’m up to the sequel that is 666: The Beast and what do I say about this? Well, It is a sequel to the first movie and it counts as a mockbuster of The Final Conflict: The Omen III. And I’ve got little to add except that is from Nick Everhart of 2012: Doomsday fame. Speaking of which…

The movie takes place presumably twenty years after the event of the first movie and no, there’s no flying cars or hoverboards in this time period – just anything made up to 2007. So Anyway, Donald Lawson (Chad Matthews) is now hitting thirty and having a quiet life with his pregnant wife Kate (Makinna Ridgway) but there’s a biblical prophecy happening when her twin sister Sarah (Makinna Ridgway again) became victims of few undead civilians and satanic worshippers. Also, Donald just scored a job from Ashmed (Amol Shah) plus he meet Sydonai (Alma Saraci) whom um… I’m sorry but I have to do this…

Meanwhile, Father Deacon Cain (Collin Brock) has travelled to Los Angeles from The Vatican and has to protect Kate whom her baby is the son of god himself plus she is getting hallucinated visions involving demonic faces and Donald killing somebody. Other than that, We get back to Donald doing his success in his job, having drinks his boss and secretary and porking Sydonai while Kate is getting a stigmata.

Following That, Ashmed and Sydonai turned out to be Donald’s followers themselves and Donald wants to forget his past in the first movie (which is seen in flashbacks) but changes his mind and now plans to kill his wife who’s about to give birth. Cain and Kate ended up in church with the most fake thunderstorms ever filmed and it constantly striking its thunderstorms for several minutes. Donald is near her path and kills some priests (including one that’s demon-possessed) but Kate manages to stab her husband and it depends on if The Rapture has been postponed yet again.

I would preferred The Omen III over this because Sam Neill did pull it off and I could still watch 666: The Child because it’s hilarious to watch but this one, it’s watchable but forgettable. The acting is average, the story is okay and that’s about it really. Now, I’m gonna review something from Christmas related so I’ll be back shortly.

 

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