Asylum Seeker: 2012 – Zombie Apocalypse

January 28, 2012 § Leave a comment

Well, It’s about time I’m doing a zombie movie and it is somewhat part of 2012 movies made by The Asylum and I do say “somewhat” because 2012: Zombie Apocalypse is actually an alternate title but if you the year and the colon part off the title, you’ll get the actual title of the movie. And I do call bullshit on the fact this movie sets in 2012 because despite its release in October 2011, the zombie outbreak occurs in June 2011 and the events of the movie begins six months after that. Here, Take a look at the trailer…

 

So in a sense, I don’t know why they suddenly went to the alternate history approach. But if you watched the movie instead of the trailer, the movie itself doesn’t specified the year so you might think the outbreak occurs in June 2012 and the main story sets in January 2012. And hey, you could pretend the movies sets further than so why not make me call this one…

Huh? I hope I won’t use any more Seltzerberg-like references so moving on. The movie begins with a montage on how the outbreak occurs and we get stuff like a plane hitting the Big Ben and New York had some explosions. And then, we meet three characters – Ramona (Taryn Manning), Billy (Eddie Steeples) and Kevin (Gerald Webb) as they went to an abandoned store which caused the zombies to come out of hiding and it’s not long before Ving Rhames and his team of survivors slaughters the undead. But as Ramona and Billy survives, Kevin just became the first zombie feast in the movie.

So with Ramona and Crabman joining Henry (Ving Rhames), Julian (Johnny Pacar), Cassie (Lesley Ann-Brandt) and Mack (Gary Weeks), They have a way to get out of their former homeland which is to go to Catalina because Cassie’s husband mentioned it’s the last refuge for humanity. They got followed by a surviving dog and traveled to a nearby store, Zombies appear and more carnage follows. They do survive and went into hiding in the restaurant which has Ving Rhames of all people say this line…

I’m not even kidding and he actually did say it like that so it’s funny since he used to be Marsellus Wallace. Back to the movie and the dog somehow became a zombie. Don’t Worry, The mongrel got sliced a second later. So they continued walking to the school which is thought to be a safe place but it’s ambush and more zombies appeared which creates one of the saddest moments in the movie, the living dead eating Crabman’s body. Well, We still have Ving Rhames and the lead singer of Boomkat along with bunch of nobodies but it is still sad.

They escaped the school and finds the house on smokes which has the zombies coming out but guess what? We have three more survivors in the game and they’re great archers. But Henry and Cassie got separated from the group and has to survive by themselves. And then, the archers – Brockton (Robert Blanche), Myrah (Lilan Bowden) and Sara (Anya Monzikova) – have a hideout for them and nothing much but a satellite falling from the sky like a shooting star and it’s nothing to do with the whole story.

The following day and Julian finds a portable toilet which has a zombie biting him the arm and hides it for a short time before he got his neck snapped. As for Henry and Cassie, They find a machine gun and a grenade which I do say caused a bigger explosion that killed six zombies. But hey, they finally reunited with the tohers and they’re near the dock so what happens next? Well, The stupidest thing in the whole movie.

Well, The CGI Zombietooth (I can’t tell if it’s a tiger or whatever so play along) had killed Brockton before Ving Rhames decides to be the badass we know by using his hammer to beat out the beast while saying “Meow Bitch” before they both died and it just leaves Mack with all the girls waiting in the dock for the ferry which did come. Well, At least it didn’t abruptly ended like The Terminators this time or else we would be speculating if the Ferry does come or if Mack will get his four-way surprise.

I do have to admit that it is a fun zombie flick so I can’t argue with that. The acting is good, the action is fine and the story is okay. The only thing I have against is the CGI Zombie Animal in the finale but it is cool that Ving Rhames kicked some ass so you’re now forgiven for starring in that awful in-name-only remake of Day of the Dead (and yes, I’m not confusing it with Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead because… have you seen how bad is the 2008 remake?) and I got nothing else so I better finish with one more movie for this themed month because it’s nearly february.

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