January 24, 2013 § Leave a comment

I never thought I’ll be doing this. So okay, I’m reviewing a porno movie and possibly the only one to do with the 2012 apocalypse hoax. To be honest, I don’t know what I get into to when it comes to this. And also, there’s already several movies with Countdown as its sole title and honestly, it’s not really a good title for an apocalyptic flick but it could have been worst. It would have been titled This Ain’t 2012 XXX instead.


Yeah, that is such a funny way to censor the image. So anyway, the movie is directed by Brad Armstrong and not only he’s one of the well-known icons in the industry (he’s been called “The Spielberg of Skin Directors” in various places) but he was once married to Jenna Jameson. Damn, I may not be familiar with Brad Armstrong but I do heard about Jenna Jameson ever since she went on to mainstream stuff. His work in directing includes Euphoria, Manhunters and many more including this parody below.

Men In Black

Off to the movie, Dr. Annie Stevens (Jessica Drake) and discovers that Earth is about to be destroyed by an asteroid known as Vesta within a week and alerts the military about this. So after news got out worldwide, everybody is spending their last days by nothing but talking and sex. There’s not beyond that so expect nobody to save the day and stuff. In fairness, there are subplots that involved side characters who has no connection with Annie Stevens at all.


One of which involves a group of four (Alextra Blue, Derrick Pierce, Kaylani Lei and Xander Corvus) who is traveling to Los Angeles but after the news broke, they became stuck in a dead-end town so what they do there is basically . Within the town, there are two restaurant works Robby (Seth Gamble) and Tonya (Lezley Zen) who spent the remaining time together by having Robby losing his virginity.

Surf's Up

And lastly, the third subplot involves around Jake (Brad Armstrong) who went to the bar to see his old friend and bartender Mac (Frank Bukkwyd). Jake himself is trying to stay sober but with doomsday looming, he gave up and tries his magic trick to Andy (India Summer) before they fuck. As for Mac, he alone visits the gravestone of his deceased wife Maggie and talks about his past before he dies there.


It’s December 21st and the end is here. While Annie is spending her last moments with scientist Doug(Rocco Reed) who recently left his wife and children, the others did the same. There’s no place to hide and even in an underground base with an unnamed president (Tyler Knight) waiting for the collision course. The rock hits and the movie abruptly ends like the final episode of The Sopranos.


I would say that this movie is somewhat interesting and surprising to say the least. It’s basically the adults-only equivalent to Melancholia, we see scenes of human interaction (with sex scenes) before it ends in a depressive note which I could give credit to that. The acting ranges from okay to great and I say the same for the story. All I got to say now is I need to watch something fun before I feel more down… something that involves the walking dead so until next time.


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