Lethal Weapon 5

April 2, 2013 § Leave a comment

Bah, what is it about fifth movies in the franchise that tends to be bad? Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws and 1967’s Casino Royale (what? it’s the fifth James Bond movie released so that kinda counts). Even A Good Day To Die Hard suffered that effect and that’s because it doesn’t have a woman stripping her suit like in the trailer. Oh well, I am reviewing one of those types of sequels and despite good reception and percentages in Rotten Potatoes – Lethal Weapon 5 is surely one of them.

Opening Title

It’s strange that this sequel is not directed by Richard Donner. Instead, it’s directed by two first-time directors – Mac and Dennis – and they’re also the main stars of the movie. Yeah, Mel Gibson and Donald Glover is not in this movie at all. Seriously Mel? You can’t be in Mad Max: Nick Fury Road and now this. Whazzup? Also, I know why Donald is not in this and that’s because he’s starring in The Amazing Spider-Man. Oh well, let’s get on to the review before I make a mistake shall we.

Spider-Man

The movie involves around Roger Murtaugh (Dennis Reynolds) being told that his wife died due to tainted tap water as planned by Chief Lazarus (Frank Reynolds). So he decides to go “fuck retirement” and have one last action with his longtime partner Martin Riggs (Mac). They picked up some hooker (Artemis Dubois) and tells her about Chief’s plan. And then, Lazarus appears with the strangest green screen I had ever seen.

Chief Lazarus 1

He denies to Riggs and Murtaugh about poisoning the water supply and they left. And then, the sex scene. Oh yeah, the sex scene. I’m not sure why that exists but this is the most eye-gouging sex scene I have ever witnessed and I don’t even know why it’s simulated. It’s Chief Lazarus porking some blonde chick (Dee Reynolds, I think… this actress is uncredited) for the majority of the movie.

Chief Lazarus 2

After that infamous sex scene, Riggs (now played by Dennis Reynolds for some reason) is captured by Chief’s henchman and it takes a little time before he escapes. As for Murtaugh (who’s now played by Mac), he’s somewhat tied up by The Chief who reveals his villainy plan. Riggs crashed through the party and I would be excited by the following action sequence but… 2 Fast 2 Furious.

Mac

Murtaugh then kills The Chief by throwing a glass of tap water at him while standing near the transformer and the movie ends with Riggs and Murtaugh shooting in their air while paying respects for their dead wives. This is the shortest sequel in existence and a lame one ever seen. It completely ignores the sequels and characters involved like Joe Pisces and Chris Tucker, it has weird continuity errors (like why the actors change roles, this isn’t a David Lynch movie) and it even has clumsy acting (including one from Charlie Kelly who played their captain… and two other characters).

Buddy Cop Salute

Keeping in mind, I was watching an “extended cut” and that doesn’t even look complete. It looks like a no-budget sweded project done by Mos Def and Jack White. So really, I’m not giving this a good recommendation despite the fact that it’s got positive reviews. But it could had been worst, I might had instead review a fifth TMNT movie that has Megan Fox as April and there’s no way I’m getting fooled by the joke that is Michael Baywatch again. Eh, DEEP THROAT.

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