Worst Of 2013
December 31, 2013 § Leave a comment
On to my take on the worst of 2013 and I do have to say this – 2013 itself is a strange year. Now I’m not gonna say that this year sucks, there is of course good things about it and I already said my piece about it. But other than that, it was the year when Google and Microsoft comes off idiotic, a town in Russia just went by while a little meteor hits and Miley Cyrus nearly won Time’s Person of the Year poll. Yeah, it’s the year mostly remembered for the girl who gave “tweaking” a name we should have ignored. I sincerely hope 2014 is better than this but for now, let’s get on with this.
Movie 43 – Now this movie is one complicated thing and it goes to the point when I say that I tried hard to review this piece of shit. I really do because I’ve seen two different cuts of it more than once. Prior to The Starving Games, this movie would have been my three-part review which the first two parts consists of various vignettes with one part containing the main storyline(s) part of the movie. But I gave up to the point of reviewing where I had to see there’s a minor incestuous joke involving Naomi Watts’ character and the son of her character.
From Hugh Jackman playing an ass-chin guy to Snooki reading Moby Dick to the worst reunion of The Dukes of Hazzard movie duo to even Fisher Stevens giving a performance that makes his “Racist Indian Guy” character in Short Circuit looked realistic by comparison. But I do give at least one good thing about the movie – James Gunn’s short Beezel. It is of course James Gunn’s dark humorous stuff as usual and worth checking out… that is if you stayed during the ending credits. Yeah, this movie is so bad that people walked out without seeing an animated cut gone psycho on Elizabeth Banks.
Worst TV Show
Dexter – Okay, before I go with this. This show shouldn’t be on the list since I liked the show and the final season is okay but when it comes to how the show ended, yeah. The ending involving Dexter killing his sister who’s in vegetable state, faking his death and remaining as a lumberjack and his son will forever be raised by is a fucking dumb way to end the show, period. The finale to Seinfeld was okay, The finale to The Sopranos is puzzled but I can take it and the ending to Lost is a bit nonsensical but it’s a show that has nonsense left and right anyway so whatever, it’s a better ending than this. In fact, the novels that is based on doesn’t end like that since it’s still going. Yeah, Dexter novel series hasn’t ended… uh, I think.
#willpower by will.i.am – Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to will.i.am, the influential alternative hip-hop artist and the award-winning frontman of the most famous group that is Black Eyed Peas…
…Sorry but seriously, how embarrassing is it that he remixed the Entertainment Tonight theme while dancing on the screen. It’s sad and hilarious at the same time. Other than that, this album is lazy and terrible and it begs my mind on why he went from Joints and Jam to Scream and Shout. What the fuck happened to him? He used to be good until the heinous sample nightmare that is Dirty Bit (Time Of Your Life).
Now there is two singles released a year prior and one of which is the abomination that is Scream And Shout. That song sucks and I say the same for #thatPOWER. will.i.am mentioned that he makes music for the internet and here’s the thing – it’s been done. Ever heard of Jonathan Coulton, Lindsey Stirling and Rebecca Black? They got famous for music on the internet rather than the official music charts and done it right so yeah, I think it’s best to go back to your music roots but I’m sure you don’t have a sense of care. Oh, and speaking of which, his original album title was Black Einstein… uh, no, will.i.am, you’re nothing like the man. Uh, stop dreaming that you’re in 3008 and start living the times man.
Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus – I never liked Miley Cyrus to begin with. When she was Hannah Montana, she was a good role model to teenagers at that time. But when she ditched the persona and go insane like bald Britney Spears, I wish the South Park harvest thing was for real because it makes me hate her for life and this song is no exception. This is a confusing way to make a break-up song and I don’t know what she is thinking.
The best part is few open letters to Sinead O’Connor and I’m not a fan of her but she is correct on things she said towards Miley who’s behaving badly for a while so I have to side with the one who does a cover of Prince’s song and not the one who combined hip-hop with country badly in a movie once. If 2014 is Miley Cyrus free, then I’ll be happy but at this moment, I’m not so if only Miley should look at the mirror and think of something better for herself.
Worst Comic Book
Justice League 3000 – Now given that I only read the first issue of this since that’s the only issue that came out this year but before I read it, I think this is one of the worst ideas DC Comics has ever presented. This is the comic that gives a middle finger to Legion of Super-Heroes fanbase and wanted money to the ones who’s into The New 52. And the first issue revealed that the JLA of the future are just clones with Wonder Twins giving the worst reinvention I ever seen.
And to top it all, the version of Superman in this comic is more worst than the Wonder Twins and it gives further good proof that Superdickery still exists. He has the worst look, the lousy costume and an attitude that makes me grumpy. In fact, the version of the hero that’s depicted in Man of Steel is more of a Superman than this guy and it’s a better hero than him. Yeah, I said it, the one who snapped Zod’s neck and caused chaos in Metropolis and Smallville is more of heroic figure than the one who thinks Jersey Shore is an Beatles album. But will it still be the worst comic in 2014, it depends but it’s not a good start so far.
Uh, I ranted much on those enough. 2013 is indeed a surreal year and should be kinda forgotten so anybody out there, I hope you have a great 2014 so here’s a merry one from me. Also, I can’t think of a theme month this January so it depends what comes up next.
UPDATE (25th January 2014): I thought of this “theme month” idea for weeks now and it all comes to this – an month full of me taking on remakes, reboots and re-adaptations. However, I’m moving this theme month to March due to the fact that one of the reviews I had written for is a movie so recent that it’s not on the home media format until that month (plus I know good suitable screencaps for this that’s not even on Google Images at this time).