Asylum Seeker: Asteroid vs Earth
October 12, 2014 § Leave a comment
Continuing my month of uh, Random Asylum movies! Yeah, let’s go with that. I’m looking at another “vs” movie but this time it involves a rock and our beloved planet. Now I don’t mind Impact Event genre really but at the same time, it’s a genre that’s as unoriginal as romantic comedies. You get a giant rock heading to Earth so it’s a matter of time before scientists or the government finds ways to destroy it before it destroys us. Now the only exceptions really is Melancholia and Seeking A Friend for the End of the World amongst few others but even that, it’s a predictable piece and we all know how it ends – by having two surfer dudes being interviewed by a porn actress live on television.
And given that, I already said enough about Christopher Douglas Olen Rey back on my review of The Almighty Thor so let’s see who else is talked about? Okay, Adam Lipsius who’s the screenwriter of the piece. Uh, he’s currently producing a movie called Star Raiders: The Adventures of Saber Raine. I don’t know what that one is about but the title is interesting. Yeah, talking about people involved the work before reviewing the work itself is hard sometimes so fuck it, let’s get to the movie and see if anything new is developed here.
The movie primary focuses on Chase Seward (Jason Brooks) who meets up with Marissa Knox (Tia Carrere) in the bar thanks to Chase’s friend Rudy (Wade F. Wilson). However, an intern known as Evan (Charles Byun) discovered an asteroid heading to Earth so he calls his boss and boom, NSA agents appear which proves one thing – they had been watching us all along. The agents also encountered Marissa who’s a physicist and Chase who’s a lieutenant commander of a naval submarine as headed by Captain Rogers (Tim Russ).
Meanwhile, Evan has been aided by General Masterson (Robert Davi) and Evan has a good plan to save the planet… by moving it away from the asteroid’s direction. You see, Chase, Marissa and even Rudy has to set nukes within the pacific that causes worldwide earthquakes that moves the planet away from the asteroid. And the plan worked so much that I had to wonder why nobody in other movies thought of it – oh right, I am reviewing an Asylum film so it’s the kind of material avoided by Neil DeGrass Tyson and Bill Nye The Science Guy.
And with stuff like Hong Kong getting destroyed by a small fragment of the asteroid, Chase and Marissa becoming a couple and Rudy giving us the most believable sacrifice (despite crappy effects involvement), Earth is saved as usual so yeah, this is really coming a mile away. It’s really a “been there, done that” kind of story and there is minor new elements involved but is easily forgettable. The acting ranges from doing the paycheck to doing it for fun or no reason and it’s clear to see why Tia, Robert and Tim is acting uninterested. It’s sad that Tia’s heydays as a 90s sex symbol is long gone but she shouldn’t stood low to these kind of movies (maybe Kull The Conqueror killed her potential more successful career or something). I could say the same for Robert and he is trying but given on what people say about his appearance in The Expendables III, he probably didn’t try enough. As for Tim on the other hand… yeah, I got nothing.
There is however two positive characters to say about it – one is that Evan is one of the most believable characters in the movie and he did develop a bit beyond his science physics since he start off rocking to his own music. Sadly, he died midway through by saving Masterson’s life. Another interesting character is Rudy who’s a gay marine that goes out of his way to sacrifice his own life by falling to St Paine volcano with two nukes. If the world knew about his actions, he would probably get a statue made in his hometown for that but sadly, they probably only gonna follow events involving a worldwide earthquake and Hong Kong being destroyed. Well, at least he is never forgotten by his boyfriend, his mother and few friends that he knew including Chase and Marissa so uh, that’s at least something!
So I’m done two movies coming out this year that’s not much worth watching so I dunno, maybe I should look into an old movie released by the company. And no, it’s not Vampires vs Zombies because I don’t have that (and I think two “vs” films is enough to review so don’t need another one). This is gonna get interesting so stay tuned.