Seltzerberg-A-Thon Mark II: Best Night Ever
November 27, 2014 § Leave a comment
Well, I’m back to the Seltzerberg crap again and to be perfectly honest, I have been trying to watch this movie months earlier but put it off so I can look into other stuff like few good movies, few RoboCop knockoffs and few Asylum stuff including the one where Colin Firth got into a pub brawl. Yeah, I’m still puzzled by this and I know this is the same guy who recently starred in Kingsman: The Secret Service but still. So anyway, I have been avoiding this really because when I get to picking my movie in my spare time, I go something like “Okay, today’s the day where I have to watch this and… oh crap, I brought The Great Dictator so might as well go with Chaplin instead”. Really, I’ve been avoiding this like a plague.
And since it’s now time to get to this, I should talk something further about Seltzer and Friedberg that I haven’t… but I’m gonna save that for an article I’m releasing later this week. Why? Because if I talked about it, it would become a two parter like the last time I review a Seltzerberg movie and I don’t want to go there again. So for now, let me talk to you about them making a movie that’s inspired by two genres that I don’t have a much likeness to – Found Footage genre and party films that capitalize on The Hangover and Bridesmaids. And I do say “inspired” because Best Night Ever is surprisingly not a parody, it’s a satire instead. Sure, there’s a tad bit of spoofing somewhere in this movie but uh, let me just throw in the plot… well, plot in a loosest sense.
The movie focuses on four girls going to have fun in Las Vegas prior to the wedding while getting recorded for no reason. The fiancée is Claire (Desiree Hall) and her friends are Zoe (Eddie Ritchard), Leslie (Samantha Colburn) and Janet (Crista Flanagan). While there, they have fun going to a nightclub with a male stripper involved, getting robbed by a guy in a red vest, hiding in a dumpster while singing “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes, taking drugs and getting shitfaced, kidnapping another guy in a red vest while mistakenly thinks he’s the thief, taking the captive to his house while getting literally shit on in front of the captive’s parents, getting into some bachelorette party games challenge, steal a limo, going to hotel room to get the fiancée but accidentally stumble onto a hypersexual nude couple and getting chased by them and the movie ends with them going home. That is the possibly the quickest synopsis for a Seltzerberg movie that I have ever wrote.
And I should have stopped the synopsis when I mentioned the character’s names because really, who cares about what they do in Vegas anyway. This movie should honestly never be made and that’s even if the directors make other movies that itself should not be made. For their previous six movies, a little bit happens here and there that’s enough to have been added on YouTube in one point (a good example would be Rapid Chipmunks or Jayma Mays being oblivious) but this one, nothing good happens at all. What in the fuck should I say about this movie at this point? I really think this is not a movie and it’s more of a vacation video the same way Adam Sandler has been filming his with co-stars Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Aniston.
This “movie” is also filled with dick jokes or better yet, dick shots since there’s only few male actors who showed their own balls in the movie. One of them being surprisingly censored and that one being a male stripper played by Amin Joseph. He may show his ass while dancing on screen but not his wedding tackles. And just in case, his lapdancing is literally the first scene of the whole thing. Maybe second if you count the credits. There’s also a scene where they found out their hotel room is filled with cum during their night shots and also the fakest alleyway blowjob scene ever filmed. I think the woman sucking some guy’s dick is actually nodding her head and it shows. And there’s lastly a scene where Claire shows a pic of her fiancée doing a Eiffel tower technique with two other guys while they are standing near a replica of the Eiffel tower in Vegas.
Other than bodily humor (if you call it that), the only comedy (again, if you call it that) in this is just four girls getting fucked up and having their own fun. There’s absolutely nothing beyond that. Actually, there is one thing beyond that and that is a montage of them having fun in the challenge and it goes on for several minutes with an annoying song from the soundtrack. Speaking of soundtrack, all but one songs are annoying and earbleeding to the degree. This is the kind of music that’s suitable for fans of LMFAO, Black Eyed Peas and Jason Derulo.
And I did say “all but one song” because during the ending credits, there’s a song called The One For Me by Natalia Safran and Mikolaj Mick Jaroszyk and the song is quite possibly the only positive thing I give about this movie because it’s a song that’s literally out-of-place in both the soundtrack and the whole 80 minutes of nothing. Sadly, the only positive thing ends with a segue to an post-credits scene that’s just the girls doing a drive-by order.
I hate Best Night Ever with an angry passion and it’s really worse than anything I reviewed before. Hey RoboCop remake, you may be money cow but I can watch you again in the future. Hey That’s My Boy, you have awful jokes involving rape, paedophilia and incest but at least they are considered jokes. Hey Uwe Boll’s Seed… I haven’t review you yet and I probably never will but congratulations, you’re now the second worst movie I have ever seen. Well, I would call this the worst movie of 2014 but it pains me that the next article I gonna talk about is my additional info on the directors and it’s the kind of article that ends with the point where I don’t call this “the worst movie of 2014” for few good reasons. Come back later this week for those exact reasons.