Worst Of 2014

January 6, 2015 § Leave a comment

If there’s anything to say about the year that is 2014, it’s just that it’s possibly the worst year in my lifetime and it makes 1997 look like 1969 by comparison (even though I was born way after 1969 but that’s beside the point). So as usual, I’m here to present a list of the stuff from this year that I dislike and hope to forget in the years to come. Really, really hope to forget. Fuck 2014.

Worst Films Of 2014

A Million Ways To Die In The West – I’m not much a fan of Seth McFarlane to be honest but he did some good from time to time like Ted for example. This movie really is a live-action take on those overlong gags you see in Family Guy before you turned it off and oh god, these gags are bad. Other than that, it’s nothing much interesting. Sure, I could admit there is minor good parts like Dr Brown cameo and the post-credit thing but it’s not really worth it so if you want some western comedy, just stick with Blazing Saddles instead.

RoboCop – I already rant about this movie on its sole review enough so is there a bit more to say about it? I’m sure can’t think of any so yeah, this movie is still in the same league as unnecessary remakes as Total Recall. Let’s just move on.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise Of Electro – Honestly, it’s not as worse as the first one but it is bad and has unoriginality written all over it. How could you use Burtonverse Riddler’s origin as the basis for Electro? How could you make Green Goblin look more cartoony than Willem DaFoe? Why am I’m not shocked about the death of one character? Why am I laughing at Denis Leary being a “Disappointed Ghost Dad” type? I have a lot of questions but if anything, the movie is bad but hilarious to watch unlike the other one.

Worst Singles Of 2014

Jason Derulo ft Snoop Dogg – Wiggle – I am not liking this year due to the fact that twerking is so everywhere that it shakes its butt towards Oxford Online Dictionary. This song really is weak and boring and will be forgettable by the following year. Snoop, I don’t know what you smoking but I think you should quit rather than pass it on to me. As for Jason Derulo, he’s always crap and besides this and Talk Dirty, his songs are forgettable so somebody sack this guy please. That’ll be a good favor to the human race.

Buck 22 featuring Billy Ray Cyrus – Achy Breaky 2 – While I am glad that I didn’t list his daughter’s crap in here (and I nearly did since she ruined two Beatles songs with The Flaming Lips), I am not glad that Billy Ray Cyrus made a sequel that’s more worst than the original and place it here. Just why? Has he not heard the part where he’s “irrelevant”? And putting twerking in this song, oh yeah, good way to cash in the popularity that’s not really popular. This is a mess that I’m not sure if it’s unfinished or not so uhhhh, fuck this song.

Kimbra – 90s Music – This is me being honest here but not only is this one of the worst songs of this year but it’s also almost the best. I shit you not on this, this song may not sound 90s-like but it’s also strangely catchy. I heard her recent album and has some catchiness as well as one of the songs sound like a bit Prince-esque but it’s not great so this one might be more of a so-bad-its-good song. Also, Matthew Bellany of Muse did the bass guitar on this and sadly… it’s not much but it’s there.

Nicki Minaj – Anaconda – Okay, you might see that I’m not a pop music enthusiast here. Well, you’re right, I hate pop music and I do mean the current state of it. I like the genre when it has class, catchiness and earworm worthy. Today, it’s annoying, annoying, annoying. And I am not a Nicki Minaj fan to be honest but damn, this song is awful. And to make it sad, the sampling of this is awful. Why is 2014 the year of butts in music? I mean, This… this is the “Dirty Bit (Time Of Your Life)” of 2014. Hey Music Company, stop making the worst artists sample some classics please.

Worst Albums Of 2014

U2 – The Spam Album – Ha, see what I did there? I may not be a U2 fan but they do have songs from time to time that’s worth listening and not so egotastical. Heck, one of them has Johnny Cash doing the lead vocals that’s surprisingly good so look up “The Wanderer” and listen to that. This album may be favorable but at the same time, it’s also the album that many people don’t want to listen right down to “Uh, somebody delete this off my phone please?”. There’s not much good in the album and really, making a tribute to Joey Ramone that doesn’t sound like The Ramones stuff of the past (not even sounding like Dee Dee Ramone when he went all hip-hop on us so that’s saying something). Has Bono even listen to their music at all? If there’s anything good to say about it, I like Sleep Like A Baby Tonight so there is one good song in the whole album but the others, just blah blah blah we’re so relevant until the end of time mumbo jumbo.

Coldplay – Ghost Stories – Speaking of U2, this album sucks. Like I said on the other album, Coldplay do have few good songs in the past but this album has none of it and they just went to their direction big time. I even heard a Giorgio Moroder remix of Magic and it’s so boring that I don’t remember it afterwards. Also, this is me saying it but is this album unintentionally a breakup album? It was released around the time when Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow went on separate ways, I’m just saying.

Worst Comic Books Of 2014

Avengers vs X-Men: Axis – No, just no. Marvel milking few crossover events this year is one thing but making a crossover involving Red Skull as Onslaught. Really, they haven’t learned on why the original Onslaught crossover is not much well-received. And top it off, Dr Strange and Scarlett Witch’s did an inversion spell that makes Iron Man more of an asshole, Hulk using his name backwards and uh, Zenpool! This one is just not for me and as much as I liked Original Sin fine for its weirdness, I think it’s best to ignore this like Ultimatum and Marville is best ignored in these times.

Worst Television Shows Of 2014

Under The Dome – While I don’t mind the first season of this show, the second season suffered from problem after problem. It became filled with love triangle clichés, pointless deaths, out-of-character moments and a cliffhanger ending that I thought was a dumb way to get this show canned but no, the show has been renewed for the third season so honestly, how is this gonna follow up on that? Granted it has minor moments like Dean Norris going briefly good before returning being evil in a hammy way but honestly, this suffered from the “second season syndrome” that makes the audiences stopped watching Heroes and Lost after that. Who knows how low can this go?

Gotham – Okay, honestly, this show is really so-bad-its-good on my part thanks to Donal Logue, Sean Pertwee and Robin Lord Taylor’s performance but outside of them, this show is a bit monotone and clichéd that I prefer Gotham High animated series to exist instead. I don’t see Ben McKenzie as James Gordon and have little care for Bruce Wayne’s early adventures. The villains in this show besides Penguin is meh and that includes Fish Mooney (a dumb name for a mobster) in the mix. I can watch this show and see how good and hammy is gonna get but it’s not the best Batman series I ever seen and thanks to this, we have Krypton coming to the small screens with David S. Goyer being involved in this. Now that is gonna be a worst show of uh, 2015… 2016… never?!?

Okay, I’m done with my list and yeah, I lied about things to forget since I brought up Gotham but hey, it’s 2015 so let’s see what good and bad has been coming our way and later this week, I’m starting with the good so until then.

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