The Neighbors Episode 4 – Black vs Yellow

June 26, 2015 § Leave a comment

Well, here it is. The first of a storyline where Charlie goes on an Hawaii vacation and have his job taken over by Ricky Rick so I do have to wonder – why is he considered an antagonist of this show? I mean, he’s just a average jock stereotype that so far has done nothing evil before this episode. In addition to this, he’s also a son of a wealthy unseen character so it bears my mind on why he decide to take over as a landlord when he’s supposed to do stuff that rich jock stereotypes usually do. Yeah, I didn’t mention that part before this but this is Tommy’s show, it either comes up once or twice or thrown away like Joe the pizza delivery guy.

Speaking of coming up once or twice, this episode finally marks the debut of “Crazy” Suzy which was referenced by Bebe in an angry way. I assume she’s also an antagonist-of-sorts but upon seeing this episode, I assumed wrong. And before we dig in, there’s also one more person to bring up and that is Princess Penelope’s new butler Richard. He doesn’t appear in this episode (and the next two for that matter) and there is a minor but not-that-clear reason so uh, I hope it’s not direct to him being suicidal or something. Yeah, I should have brought up Fidel Castro instead but let’s not waste time and see what goes on anyway.

The episode begins with Charlie working on his computer (which him typing random letters like an idiot is assumed to be “working”) and then suddenly Ricky Rick entered and talked to Charlie. Yeah, unlike previous episode, Charlie didn’t disappear in a split second because he’s talking to a character that’s also played by Tommy himself (and an obvious body double wearing the wig). As Charlie mentioned that Rick is taking over for a brief period, he also brought up that his father is a rich man but enough all that. Let’s move on to Ed measuring the board in the office before Cici entered to greet Charlie for a gift – a gift being the tenants singing Frère Jacques… A nursery rhyme that involves a guy whose overslept and is supposed to wake up with the sound of the bells!

Frère Jacques
They sang the song and Tim makes a fool of himself by singing for himself and hugging all the female tenants clumsily. They left and Charlie explained to Ed about an unknown incident in the laundry room with Richard that caused a lawsuit. As I mentioned before, it’s not clear on what actually happen but there’s the reason why Richard is not gonna appear in the next set of episodes (and maybe the show again). Later, Rick prepares to work by asking Bebe on how to use the computer. He then ask if he could strangle Bebe… I don’t know why but Bebe explained that it’s a no-no. Rick licks the computer screen that’s showing a picture of a zebra (?) and flashed his Tommy Wiseau underwear before Bebe also throws a no-no at him. And then, Rick pressured Bebe about how long he could take a break from the job.

Rick And Bebe
Rick is then at Troy’s place with Lula hanging out and drinking vodka which then comes the most anticipated moment of all – Fidel Castro making an appearance. And how he made such an appearance? He opened the door, is confused, apologizes and left. The three then agrees that he’s really a dick. You know what? I think I should take a little break from this so excuse me.

Fidel Castro
Where was I? Oh right, Troy hanging with Rick and Lula. Yeah, that’s all they do before Lula decides to go out and start some riot with them. Excuse me again.

Troy's Place
Uh let’s just move on and look, we finally meet Crazy Suzy (Debbita Deb) who turns out to be either an adopted sister or cousin to Bebe. So sibling rivalry then, I play along with it. And what she does is nothing much really before Troy entered and ask Suzy to get water and soda which leads to Troy and Charlie quickly checking on paper to put money deposit or some shit like that. Suzy returned, gave just a water to Troy before he gave it back and left. Bebe appeared and is shocked that her sister/cousin is in the office. She wanted her out of the office before she changes her mind and wanted Rick out instead which leads to them arguing. Also, Rick caused a bit of mayhem by spilling water in the office before he attempts to do the same and failed. Suzy asked Bebe if she could take a week off and at first, Bebe agreed but they argue again.

Ricky Rick
Suzy left the office and Bebe is annoyed by her appearance. Later, Ed entered and begs Rick to get his check deposit today instead of later in the week. Rick then asked Ed to be a “runner” instead and Ed agrees. Ed then brings up that Laundry Room is known as a sex place which leads to Rick saying that the place could have a $5 entry fee and a camera installed. They both left the office and end up in the hallway and Cici appears complaining to Rick about Philadelphia and Patricia because she’s a homophobe I guess. Cici left and Troy appeared to be a bit homicidal towards Rick but he left as well. Lula then appeared wearing the same jacket Rick is wearing and the episode ends with Rick and Lula left to take a “break”.

What in the flying fuck? This episode is as best jumbled in places but in the worst way. What’s with Richard and the lawsuit thing? Why did Fidel Castro appeared? Better yet, why is this in the show? Why is my time wasted on anybody unlikable except possibly Tim? This one is a bad episode and oh shit, it will continue on from here. I am glad that Suzy finally make her debut but am puzzled on anything else. Lastly, I question Rick’s purpose for the show since he doesn’t do anything antagonistic and is just a dumb jock doing dumb jock stuff. Although, him causing a mayhem in the office with Bebe and Suzy is the only worthy thing happening on the show itself. That Fidel Castro cameo? Forget about it. So to end this review on a good note, I think I should delay the next episode review for one week and look on something else instead in case I don’t suffer a burnout because of this show so uh, until next time then I guess.


The Neighbors Episode 3 – Sliding Cake

June 18, 2015 § Leave a comment

I might have been too hard on calling this the worst series I have ever watched. Sure, The Room is considered by many as one of the worst movies of all time but it is also a memorable cult classic so maybe The Neighbors is like that as well. And also, I have given the second episode a quasi-positive review but given that we at what I called the Party episode of the series (even though there’s already a mini-party in previous episode and the ending credits party sequence), I’m sure that I give this one a negative review. But before that, I have to ask – Why is this show based on Tommy’s novel really?

I specifically asked that because the novel is not available anywhere and it’s not the first time Tommy is guilty of it. The Room itself is based on the novel that to date, is unreleased. Really, why bother pointing it out? The Disaster Artist is becoming a movie and has any right to have the “based on novel” credit. I’m just puzzled by this logic and do have to wonder how long before the novel of this show (and that movie) will eventually be released if at all. But enough wondering, let’s see how bad this episode is.

The Room Novelization
The episode begins in the laundry room where Mariana is attempting to seduce Troy but he rejected and wants to do his laundry along with him regretting the one time they did it. And all of a sudden, Mr B entered and tried to break it up because he is in love with her. Mariana explained he’s delusional and he left. Over at the office and Ed is telling Charlie and Bebe on if his notepad is left here. They didn’t see it which then leads to Bebe noticing Ed’s smell and like it. Ed then shows his own Tommy Wiseau underwear to her which leaves Charlie a bit jealous but as Ed left, he forgets about it.

Over at the Hallway and we see Cici arguing to Patricia about her being a lesbian or something. They continue arguing and then decides to fight each other. How this battle will be resolved is a mystery as we then return to the office as Lula enters and not only Bebe talks about the free gun she got from Troy but Tim and Ed said the same thing as well. Oh, and Ricky Rick entered and asked Bebe about “Crazy” Suzy which had Bebe flipped out because she hates her. Over at Troy’s Place and Mariana entered to argue at him about Cici’s chicken which he has absolutely nothing to do with. Of course, Cici appeared and wants but drugs from Troy and left but not before Troy and Mariana argued more by screaming.

Will this issue also be resolved? I don’t know because we return to the office abruptly as Charlie is preparing to give Bebe a surprise birthday party and it’s not much really. It’s the usual “invite everybody, get birthday cake and make up something to the birthday girl” kind of plan here with Tim faking his knee injury and so on. And as nearly everybody (except Ricky Rick and Joe, remember that guy?) hide beneath the couch which is located on uh, the other side of the office? The next room? It doesn’t specify much but Bebe entered and got her surprise. Tim then gives her the birthday cake but not before tripping over and had the cake land on Princess Penelope.

So it results to the kind of food fight that has Mariana licking Ed’s chest (don’t ask) before Ricky Rick entered (while Charlie disappeared a second after) and yeah, they continue to party and that’s about it. Okay, I was wrong on saying that the second episode is forgettable because this one is more forgettable enough that the later episodes didn’t really follow up on this. The catfight, the party and even the Troy/Mariana thing is not worth talking about.

Birthday Party
There is something to this however as this is the second episode that mentions the yet-unseen character of Crazy Suzy (yeah, I didn’t mention this before but thought it’s a throwaway line at the time) and Don appeared in this episode but every time he speaks, he clicks which is absent on the first episode. I don’t know if has to do with Tommy wanting an African with a click language tone or something but it’s not the last time we see to that effect. And other that, that’s it. The whole episode is basically what you already seen in previous episode’s promo but in condensed (and not well finished) form.

Fake Doggy
It’s a pointless episode that serves two strange purposes and nothing more. But hey, next episode is the start of the storyline where Tommy Wiseau is going to Hawaii for a vacation and have his job taken over by Tommy Wiseau. Well, the characters playing him. Also, Fidel Castro makes an appearance so ooh, how he appeared is really something so until next time.

The Neighbors Episode 2 – Princess Penelope Arrives

June 10, 2015 § Leave a comment

Here we are on the second episode of The Neighbors, what have we really learned from the first one? I did explain it but really, it’s a show involving Tommy Wiseau playing two characters, a Pizza Delivery guy who might or might not be ever seen again (I seriously have to watch these two new episodes), blokes wearing Tommy Wiseau underwear, a stoner watching a Tommy Wiseau movie and oh yeah, that neighbor shouting and crying out for her pet chicken. Well, to be fair, there was a mention of a Princess Penelope so the good question to that is… who the fuck is Princess Penelope?

Princess Penelope
I knew there’s a Princess Catherine, Diana, Alexandra and even Mary who resides in Denmark but Penelope? The only reference to a Princess Penelope is the one who nearly married Krusty The Clown. the one who starred in The Royals and the one who stars in Penelope: Princess of Pets. Yeah, I’m looking into real world logics and I didn’t forget that she’s a fictional character really but look at it this way, this show also has Fidel Castro involved in a later episode but dammit Tommy, if you put a real world Cuban politician in your show then why not a real world royal princess hmm?

Fidel Castro
But enough talking about politics, let’s see how the show goes. The episode begins with Charlie getting change with the help of Bebe while discussing Penelope’s arrival and Tim singing in the hallways about the Princess. And suddenly, they also talk about having sex last night. Yeah, I didn’t see them being a couple on previous episode but hey it’s Tommy’s show, Chris-R could appear out of nowhere and pulled a gun at one of them. Mariana enters and is excited to meet Penelope before Tim appears singing in joy while asking Charlie and Bebe if they want Ice Cream. We got a cutaway to the exterior building shot before… going back to the office! Again, it’s Tommy’s show, a random alien could appear and disappear in a split second.

Tommy Wiseau
Charlie asks Bebe to check on his computer before she picks up a phone from Philadelphia who asked if she could meet the princess. She and Charlie said yes and hangs up the phone before complaining about Philadelphia constantly wearing the bikini. Charlie said it’s America and the complaint ended abruptly. Over at the hallway, Philadelphia meets up with Charlie and she felt depressed so they hug before he asked if she wants Ice Cream. Back at the office, Bebe then tells Charlie on why Philadelphia is feeling depressed and it turns out that Philly went to Patricia’s apartment and kissed her before she runs out.

Phily And Patricia
Ed enters the office and asked Charlie is he could get Penelope here while Charlie asked Ed to fix the Walkie-Talkie device. They both agreed on one other and as Ed leaves, Charlie says to Bebe that he wondered if Ed is uh, special! So a bunch of people entered the office and Penelope (Charolette Barlow) appears (while wearing a fez). Tim inappropriately touches Penelope on the bum cheeks, Charlie gives her the lease paper (why does a princess of British royalty get a lease paper exactly?) and Richard compliments her which leads to him being accepted as Penelope’s butler. The two left and Bebe mentioned that she forgot the flowers so Tim took and run out to give it to her. Oh, and Charlie has got his Walkie-Talkie back and has to wonder if it’s fixed.

Penelope With Fez
Over at Troy’s place, Troy is having a mini-party with Philadelphia and Patricia (Yenitza Munoz) and Patricia tries to come on to Philly but Philly acts like she’s not interested. Mr B (Branden Kong, which by the way is the unnamed Asian-American neighbor from previous episode) enters and exchanges money with drugs from Troy. And suddenly, Mr B tries to come on to two girls but failed before he left. Troy and Philly danced a little before Philly suggested the best idea she’s ever had – a threesome with Troy and Patricia. And it worked but given that it’s a sitcom, we are not gonna see that action. We then cut to Penelope and Cici meeting each other and given that we’re not getting a threesome, this is what we get that’s naughty instead.

Richard entered the office and complains angrily about eviction notice before Bebe asked if he could sign the lease extension form. He did and left while throwing the eviction paper. Charlie then explained to Bebe that Richard attempted suicide ten years earlier (which harkens back to my previous episode’s mention on Richard should be getting immediate help) and he knows this because the mayor (?) mentioned it via phone. Bebe decides to go easy on him. Back to Troy’s domain (well, the door of it which ha ha, the door number is 420), Cici and her pet chicken Fifi asked Troy for salt and pepper all while Troy is high enough to mistake Fifi for a tiger and wants to eat it. Nothing much beyond that.

Charlie later explained to Bebe that he’s going to Hawaii for possibly a vacation (he didn’t fully explained) before Tim enters with the ice cream which results to him “accidentally” dropping it. I say “accidentally” in quotes because a couple of seconds later, he brought a towel which might be outside the door to clean it. The episode ends weirdly and funnily enough with Charlie and Bebe talking and then abruptly cut to next episode promo footage (with next time text) and back to them talking and again, back to the promo footage but with proper sounds. I am not making this shit up.

Next Time Error
So like I said on previous episode’s ending note, nothing really happens in this episode. In fairness, it’s not a bad episode but it is forgettable. And Charolette did well even if she acts a bit bored. Nobody did a bad job (even Cici who is slightly annoying here) and the Philadelphia/Patricia lesbian storyline is not really necessary but it’s not as “all of a sudden” as Charlie and Bebe being a couple. Well, that’s all I got this one but next episode, it’s Bebe’s birthday so you know what that means.


The Neighbors Episode 1 – Meet The Neighbors

June 5, 2015 § Leave a comment

The Neighbors. A show that’s a long-awaited follow-up to Tommy Wiseau’s directorial debut The Room, it is so long-awaited that it began production shortly after the movie itself had been given the Rifftrax treatment and searching its home from Adult Swim to uh, Adult Swim, it has found its place with Hulu. So what do I say about watching the show that reveals how Tommy can do the Sitcom technique? Well, you know how Seinfeld is considered a show about nothing? Yeah, That show has memorable characters, well-known storylines and anything else that is the opposite of “nothing”. The Neighbors however is really about nothing.

Tommy Wiseau
This is possibly the worst series I have ever watched and I’ve seen awful shows from Woops! to Allen Gregory to Shasta McNasty to even a rejected US pilot of The I.T. Crowd. Show me something and I can tell you that these shows are bad but not as bad as this one because I didn’t laugh, I got annoyed and at times, I felt nothing. What’s the comedic value about this? Uh, a house full of tenants doing whatever stuff. It’s kind of being done before like Friends for example. And given that, I have to watch these four episodes again in the purpose of reviewing which it might be the regrettable thing I ever did for this site. Also, two more episodes came out at the time of this writing so yeah, I’ll get to those next month.

The first characters we meet is the building’s owners Charlie (Tommy Wiseau) and Bebe (Gretel Roenfeldt) as she talks about Princess Penelope coming to the building for a visit and asked if every tenant is invited to meeting her. He agrees and then Tim (Raul Phoenix), the first of the tenants enters asking Charlie if he could borrow twenty bucks. Charlie then asked Bebe to borrow twenty bucks off her before she mentioned that Tim already owed her twenty bucks which leads to Tim giving it back to her and then left the office.

Money Gag 1
Troy (Andrew Buckley) then enters and complains about the eviction notice before throwing 850 bucks at Charlie. After that, we got the first exterior scene of the apartment building with the theme looping. It’s the first but not the last since we get more of those throughout the series that makes it perfect for some drinking game so take a shot. Back to the show and we see Richard (Alexander Hult) talking to the mirror about getting a job or killing himself. He gets a knock from Philadelphia (Karly Kim) and she asked him if she could borrow salt and pepper for her cooking chicken (and in a bikini if I may add). Surprisingly, the salt and pepper is just by the door in two coffee mugs and he gave it to her.

Back to Charlie and Bebe’s office and they got two random unnamed tenants – an Asian-American and an African-American – appear complaining to each other about Wi-Fi issues and their racial issues. Charlie stopped it and called Ed, the super on fixing the Wi-Fi. And then, The African-American tenant complained about hearing that the Asian-American is having sex with everything that moves including a chicken. Over at the laundry room, we see Mariana (Jessica Lieberman) getting it on with Ed (Jonathan Freed) before Tim entered with a chicken and explained he saved the chicken after falling from the window. Tim left and Mariana and Ed returned to having sex in a public place.

At the hallway, we meet Ricky Rick (Tommy Wiseau again) and his girlfriend Lula (Cheyenne Van Zutphen) as they met up with Tim and Troy. Nothing much happens except Lula spraying cream on Ricky’s face. Back at the office and both Charlie and Bebe got another complaint from a tenant. This time, it’s Don (Christopher Cooper) who talks about him cheating on his wife Monica (Suzanne Wachtel) with his gay friend Patrick. Monica entered and the couple fought with Charlie and Bebe being surprised that she’s several months pregnant. She left before Don does and Tim returns to ask Bebe if he could borrow twenty bucks which leads to him giving the money to Charlie. Charlie then gave it back to Bebe and then Tim asked Bebe yet again if… you know what’s coming.

Money Gag 2
Following the money gag routine, we meet with Cici (Pamela Bailey) and she invades Troy’s place by complaining to him about the whereabouts of the chicken (while Troy is smoking through the pipe). Also, Troy is watching The Room with subtitles on television. I got nothing to add but just though I say it anyway. They continue arguing before she lefts. Over at Philadelphia’s place, she is rubbing her with cream before she got a knock from Cici and it’s the same, exact argument. Cutting to Joe (Brian Kong), a pizza delivery guy who knocks the door on two unnamed female tenants (one of which is wearing a bikini as well) and nothing much except the bikini tenant gives cash that’s hidden in her bra and panty.

Bikini Girl
After that, Joe is walking by taking his shirt off and meets up with Philadelphia about where to find the owners of this building which leaves back to the office. Joe asked if there’s a vacancy available and Bebe decide to go with Joe moving her with doing any checking on his background. Also, I should mention that this is so far the only episode Joe has ever appeared so I don’t know why I am bother mentioning this part of episode. Ed appeared and mentioned the phone lines are down and that’s about it. We gone back to Cici as she is screaming on the hallway floor with Charlie appearing briefly doing his phone conversation. Nothing much happens and Cici continues screaming in agony.

Charlie returned to the office and the part about Joe being accepted as tenant is still going. Back at Troy’s place as he is visited by Ricky Rick and Lula. Ricky gave the cash to Troy and they discussed about whatever but not before Lula asked if she could buy a shotgun from Troy. He did and mention it’s a hundred bucks which then leads to Lula using her hypnotic charms on him and got the nothing from nothing instead. They left and Troy wondered what happened to money she gave him before he decides to forget about it. Over at Cici’s place as Tim is waiting to give Cici back her pet chicken. She appears and the reunion happened before a bit of the argument and the episode ends with a random party montage involving the cast.

A little really happens on this episode and will continue to be that. So far, the only likeable character is Tim but anybody else comes off as either dicks, sociopaths (in Troy’s case during his confrontation with Cici), sexists and even racist stereotypes. I mean, I tried getting the names of four unnamed characters in this episode and the credits didn’t help much. I find it funny that the episode title is called “Meet The Neighbors” which yeah, we do meet them but wish we didn’t instead. But probably two worst things about this episode (and overall, the show) is the repetitive exterior shot scene that I mentioned earlier and Cici who is quite possibly the worst character I have ever seen.

Her role in the show is that she is highly annoying and loud. Sure, some characters are also loud as well but her tone is enough to make her win the loudness war if she got involved in the music business. She also comes off as more of a racial stereotype caricature that’s one-dimensional and while her role in this episode is a bit differed to her role in later episodes, it doesn’t help really. So yeah, this is the first long episode to the series that finally came out this year. I think I should join the drinking game now and be dead drunk but next time, I will look at what happened when Princess Penelope comes for the visit. And let me tell you that the outcome will be pointless anyway.

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