Janu-Fahey Month 2.1: Sketch Artist II – Hands That See

February 28, 2016 § Leave a comment

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Well, Janu-Fahey Month 2.1 is drawing to a close and what best way to do that is to bookend those two months by reviewing Sketch Artist II: Hands That See with Jeff Fahey and James Tolkan reprising their roles but not Frank McRae since he probably is preparing to star in Asteroid with Michael Biehn. But hope is not lost as got a replacement partner that’s played by Michael Beach. In addition, Jonathan Silverman and Courtney Cox are in this movie and it is timely since Jonathan was hitting it big at that time with The Single Guy and Courtney is already riding high with Friends.

The Single Guy
Lastly, Phedon didn’t direct this one so who took over the director’s seat for this one? Well, get ready for this. Jack Sholder of A Nightmare On Elm Street II: Freddy’s Revenge and The Hidden fame so fuck it, we got a winner here. Well, okay, he also made a failed pilot telemovie based on Marvel’s Generation X as well since while Finola Hughes did a better job as Emma Frost than January Jones, it doesn’t block the mind of Matt Frewer going all Jim Carrey on us with a bit of racial slur involved… that, and it has one of the worst farts gag in history.

Generation X
Well, we see how it goes as the movie opens up with a mysterious killer coming to the house of Emmy (Courtney Cox) and her husband Glenn (Jonathan Silverman) and the killer raped her. So as that happened, it then all of a sudden cuts to Jack (Jeff Fahey) and other police officers playing an Softball game. Yeah, that is an awkward and uncomfortable transition. Anyway, the game ended with the team losing because Beeks (John Prosky) didn’t get the ball in his hand. Jack and George (Michael Beach) then meet up a coroner on a recent murdered victim of “The Slasher” and it then leads to Jack meeting up with Emmy. Also, I should mention this but Emmy is not only a rape survivor… but uh, she’s also blind!

Courtney Cox
Jack decides to help her out since while she is blind, she can tell the killer’s description by feeling his face which worked. Not only that but she also touch Jack’s face and describes it perfectly. Following it, both Jack and George check out Emmy’s house and Jack interviews her again before she breaks down. After Jack calms her down, both Emmy and Glenn are at the park near the university and she is about to go back to her teaching but sits next to the rapist who threatened her about his appearance being exposed. She immediately runs back to Glenn and the rapist got away.

Park
Later, the news release reports about Emmy and the rapist’s description and Jack heard about it which brought him a bit furious so he decides to go to Emmy’s class. However, the rapist got there first and is about to threaten her again. Jack stopped at the class as he is about to do that and the rapist escapes while killing a security guard nearby. His escape didn’t take long as while he pulled over by highway cops later is revealed to be Tim Rothko (Michael Nicolosi) who’s a bible student of sorts.

Michael 1
So with Tim caught, the movie is not over as it lands him in court while Emmy and Glenn went into hiding. The court case has a chance of losing with Jack drinking and Glenn wanting Tim be in prison so Jack went sober and tries to convince Emmy to take a stand and she eventually did. It didn’t went too well again but Jack has got an idea which might work – the idea leading to Emmy touching a random bystander’s face at the court and describe it to Jack. The plan worked successfully and Tim hulked out as he is about to attack Emmy but cops caught him and the movie ends with another softball game and Beeks has finally caught the ball with Jack and his friends winning.

Finale
Okay, I don’t really like this movie. I would have liked it but with rape being a notable subject (and with a blind person), I felt uncomfortable at times watching. Yes, it is fiction and it’s not the first thing I seen that tackles this subject since I’ve seen Irreversible and uh, That’s My Boy! But with this movie, I do say that I’m glad that the person who wanted non-consensual sex has been caught but still. Other than that subject, the movie also is really boring and that’s to due to the fact that it went from Jack and other characters finding the antagonist to a courtroom drama. The first movie has Jack checking out mystery which connects to his wife and that story is something. This one is just plain dull and forgettable (except the one where Tim rages out).

Jeff

It also felt oscarbait with Courtney giving her all as a blind person and she did okay but it doesn’t help her getting any award mainly because not only I mentioned Friends but she is gonna be more known for Scream and Cougar Town so I won’t be surprised if she doesn’t wanna talk about this one. Jonathan did okay as well and while his performance is minimal, it is the only good part. Speaking of minimal, Jeff has his own here since this movie is hardly about him. Heck, James Tolkan has a small role here and to add this up, Lin Shaye is also in this but for only one scene that doesn’t serve any purpose at all. Michael however did an okay job as killer since he kinda have the looks of it.

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I can’t fault Jack for this since he didn’t write it, the writer is Michael Angeli who also wrote the first film so it bears my mind on how these two movies are different to each other not in terms of story but in style as well. But why should I complain about it really? Michael is already big name thanks to Monk, Battlestar Galactica, Black Sails and… uh, Chyna: If They Only Knew! Yeah, he’s also a biographical co-author and celebrity profiler. It is not a good movie really and not worth checking out. And this ends the double-month edition of Janu-Fahey and I suddenly feel moody. Alright, I should go watch a few things and will come back possibly in a positive light.

Janu-Fahey Month 2.1: True Blood

February 23, 2016 § Leave a comment

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Uh, so what do we have now? True Blood, not to be confused by the television series or the novel series the show is based upon so Jeff Fahey and Vampires? Only on From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series. Now I might be excited about this one since I saw this in the bargain bins with Jeff and Billy Drago on the DVD cover. Then again, I reviewed one movie that Billy appeared in before and I got that DVD from the bargain bin so I might be concerned as well. No matter, this looks like your typical 1980s thriller and I like those kind of movies.

Billy Drago

And the interesting part is that director Frank Kerr was a former newspaper and television journalist and yes, I got that info from IMDB where everything is so official that I pretend to think it’s true. He has done little to be honest but upon research, I tracked down a website for one of his movies The Child King and it kinda is heartfelt to read since the movie focused on a kid with down syndrome and the idea for this movie originated from Frank’s brother Jeff who worked as a producer so whether True Blood is good or bad, I only state it that way and won’t directly criticize the director for this. Not only that, the movie also spawned an non-profit organization based on the movie’s title. Even if I never met him personally, he does come off a nice guy after all so kudos to him and his brother.

Frank Kerr

So going to the movie now and we meet up with Raymond Trueblood (Jeff Fahey) who is talking to his kid brother Donny (Rhett Creighton) in his bed before he and his gang goes to have a gangland brawl with rival leader Billy Masters (Billy Drago) who goes by the nickname of “Spider” (or as Raymond calls him “Spider-Man”). The fight got interrupted by an ongoing police car and Ray is caught by a police detective. However, Spider shot the detective and leads to Ray being framed as the killer. And then his partner shows up and… he’s played by James Tolkan! Dammit, I haven’t yet reviewed The Sketch Artist II and already there’s somebody else other than Jeff from that movie starring in this and not only that but take a look at this…

Strickland's Wig
Ray makes a run and takes Donny to the train station. Over there, two random detectives appear and Ray continues his run with a car chase that involves Detective Hanley (James Tolkan) in the mix. Ray escapes to the train and Hanley screams that he will get him someday. Ten years later and Ray returned to New York as a soldier. He returned to look for his brother which upon encountering his former gang buddy Bobby (Everett Mendes III), Ray became shocked that Donny is alive… and working for Spider! He went back to his turf and sees both Spider and Donny (now played by Chad Lowe) there. Donny told him to leave before shit breaks out and he did so what happens next? He decides to work at the diner owned by Aguado from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Frank
Frank Santos (John Capodice) hired Ray and he meets with fellow work-mate Jennifer (Sherilyn Fenn) and they are bumpy-at-first but became friends shortly after. Spider then sends Donny to rob a joint but a random cop shows up and leaves to a car chase, the chase ended with Donny injured and Spider escaping so Donny decides to hide out near Ray’s home. Ray takes Donny and hides out in Jennifer’s home. The following morning, Donny wakes up and runs back to the subway station with Ray going after him. At first, he lets Donny get away but Donny instead followed him and they are reunited. Over at Santos Diner, Frank got a visit from Hanley and his new partner Charlie Gates (Ken Foree) and are close to Ray. Also, Charlie found Donny’s blood while he steps on a used gum.

Bubble Gum 1
It took a while but Hanley discovered Ray and is about to shoot him. Ray instead used a fire extinguisher on him and escapes with Donny on a garbage truck. While hiding out in new apartment, Ray talks to Donny about finding their mother (who’s already dead) and had found that her last home is better than where are they living. Donny got angry and walks away because he prefers living in the streets. Donny then goes to the diner and apologizes for his attitude to Jennifer. Jennifer then tells Donny to meet tomorrow someplace else. Meanwhile, Ray goes to the police station and wants to make a deal with Hanley.

Jeff & James
Hanley agrees to keep Donny out of this and has himself turned in after Spider is caught. Following her meeting with Donny, she walks home only to find Spider there (with a stuffed panda and classical music playing) and attempts to kill her but Donny noticed his former gang member in the car so he runs to her place. She’s alive only to say to Donny that Spider is only looking for Ray. Back at their new apartment, Ray noticed Spider’s voice and they confront again in the rooftop. Spider shoots Ray before Donny appears and shoots Spider multiple times before he falls to his death.

Spider's Death
Ray survived and is let go by Hanley and Charlie and the movie ends with Ray reuniting with Donny at the station while Donny getting a kiss from Jennifer. Honestly, this movie is not bad but it does drag on a little. With good performances around, I can safely say that Billy owns this one since he played a deranged psychotic gang member well and he deserved it. Jeff of course is good and James, Sherilyn and Ken as well but if anything, Chad is second best next to Billy since he may be Rob Lowe’s brother but his role is pretty good. The action scenes are fine, there’s humor involved and a bit of hammy acting here and there but it didn’t affect the movie. It really is a good product of its time and is worth checking out.

Bubble Gum 2
Now before I go, I do have one news to mention – this is the last Jeff Fahey movie I gonna reviewing since after the disastrous time I am having, I am cancelling this theme month. Don’t worry, I got a good backup plan so here’s what coming at you.

James-unary

Oh, I’m kidding. Janu-Fahey always continues (even though I’m reviewing The Sketch Artist 2 with both of them next time).

Janu-Fahey Month 2.1: Body Parts

February 21, 2016 § Leave a comment

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This one is an unplanned piece. Originally, I was planning to do Absolute Zero as a callback to my last year’s review of 100 Degrees Below Zero but to make a long story short, my room became a colossal claustrophobic mess thanks to those two dumbass painters back in October last year so I can’t find a copy of this one. Really, this theme double month is not going exactly to what I plan not just with this but delayed timing as well. But hey, it could have been worst. I could have a month reviewing nothing but Marlon Wayans comedies like Fifty Shades of Black… and no, I am not planning on doing that… ever… Little Man sadly ruined me enjoyment on him and his brothers!

Little Man
So here enters Body Parts instead and already this interests me since not only is it another Jeff Fahey horror movie but Brad Dourif also stars in it is about time I’m reviewing another movie starring the one and only voice of Chucky. And why I do remember Phoenix after all this time is beyond me? This movie is one of the few directorial efforts of Eric Red who is little known for directing but more known for writing with such films as The Hitcher, Blue Steel and Near Dark so we might get a good kick out of this.

Eric Red

The movie begins with credits of creepy music and a drawn anatomy of a human being which makes me wonder, did I put on Re-Animator by mistake? No but whatever, Bill Chrushank (Jeff Fahey) is a college professor interviewing criminal suspects like Ray Kolberg (Paul Ben-Victor) who goes by the nickname “Cobra” and is sent to prison for killing his high school sweetheart because he’s a bit crazy. As he prepares to go to work, he noticed a flat tire in another car which caused it to lose and he nearly got in a car crash. It didn’t happen at first but a truck behind him crashed to his car and it cost him his arm in the process.

Car Accident

Bill’s wife Karen (Kim Delaney) is being discussed for replacement arm by Doctor Agatha Webb (Lindsay Duncan) and she signs the documents so is about to have an arm transplant with a hospital full of masked nurses holding their shotguns (?) and uh, this transplant scene kind of creeps me out. Also, would it surprising that it happened on the same day as the crash? He got his new arms and it took a while before he tested them and having his family getting back to normal. However, the new arm caused minor movements and having strange flashbacks to something he never sees so upon seeing Cobra for the second time, his arm’s prison number is being noticed by another and Cobra panicked enough that he doesn’t want to talk to him anymore.

Cobra

So he decides to check for the previous owner of his new arm which turns out that it previously belong to serial killer Charley Fletcher (John Walsh) who is dead. He then investigates further by finding out the other arm has been giving to now-successful artist Remo Lacey (Brad Dourif) and the legs were transplanted to basketball player Mark Draper (Peter Murnik). He meets with them a couple of times and the second time being in the bar which includes a fight with a drunk who knows about Bill’s arm transplant. Shortly after, Mark tries to walk upstairs normally but it behaves like he’s losing it and calls up on Bill and that’s before a mysterious killer slaughtered him and takes his legs.

Bar

Both Bill and Detective Sawchuck (Zakes Mokae) decide to go to Remo’s house after Mark’s death but the killer already caught up to him and the two already saw it. As they to drive off after the crime scene has been set, the killer drives next to Bill and placed an handcuff on his arm which leads to the killer being a composite of body parts with Charley’s head. It leads to a car chase before Bill shoots the chains of the handcuffs and “Frankensteined” Charley got involved in a car crash. He survived but carrying limbs with Doctor Webb helping him so Bill now has to take the matter alone while stealing Sawchuck’s car in the process.

Sawchuck

Back in the hospital, Bill confronts Doctor Webb before being knocked out by “Frankensteined” Charley. And as his arm is about to be taken off, Bill controlled its use and escapes while shooting the limbs and killing Webb and Charley in the process. The movie ends with his life finally getting back to normal as he and his wife are relaxing on the tree in the park which makes a resemblance to John Lennon’s Plastic Ono Band album cover in the process. Of all the Jeff Fahey movies I reviewed in a while, I had to simply say that this might be one of the best ones out of the whole lot because hot damn, this movie is creepy and very, very good.

Brad Dourif

And the best part is that it’s adapted from the novel Choice Cuts by Pierre Boileau and Thomas Narcejac whom their previous works was adapted into movies like Les Diaboliques and Vertigo so yeah, I can see why this movie felt very Hitchcockian. While admittedly Jeff gives an alright performance along with Brad, it’s the story and few make-up effects that counts. I heard that this movie’s advertisements were cancelled in Wisconsin due to the killings caused by Jeffrey Dahmer and I can’t blame them because this movie is part of the splatter genre and has some better body horror than uh, last year’s Fantastic Four. Dammit, I can’t get over that disastrous movie.

Shotgun

But really, this is an underrated piece that is worth checking out and perfect to watch in a Halloween night. Maybe it is a good thing I reviewed this instead of Absolute Zero because I don’t know, I read it somewhere that it’s “The Day After Tomorrow but set in Florida” and I suspect it’s another disaster movie that involves family values so it’s all cool. Anyway, it’s getting to hopefully normal next time since well, I do have two movies that I’m gladfully didn’t lose so until then.

Janu-Fahey Month 2.1: Johnny 2.0

February 17, 2016 § Leave a comment

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Yeah, I know I started it off late and trying to catch up as fast as possible (note to self, plan in advance the next time I’ll do another theme month) so now, I have to wonder – does Clones really sucks? I do ask the question because this movie was released around the same time that the infamous Clone Saga was still happening in Spider-Man comics and there’s the whole “Boba Fett is Jango’s clone” thing which ruined the most-famous character. And lastly, I think Jake 2.0 is a clone of this movie instead due to the fact that it starts with J and ends with two point zero. And yeah, we sure do have Orphan Black as an exception but why the hate. Maybe I myself an imperfect clone of a reviewer who doesn’t pad this review up.

Jake 2.0
But anyway, Johnny 2.0 is a late 90s sci-fi romp made by Neill Fearnley, possibly a clone of Neil Fearnley who made Behind The Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Mork and Mindy. Joking aside, he really is nothing but a television-at-work director so I’m sorry, do I have to explain anything else? Maybe the next review doesn’t feature another one of those directors with similar body of work because already, this is less of a Janu-Fahey Month and more of a Janu-Fahey On TV Month… which might not be a bad idea.

The Marshall
Let’s just get this show on the road. The movie begins with a home terrorist group destroying one lab after another for freedom while recording their actions and send it to the news crew, a report drew notice on Frank Donahue (Michael Ironside) and Johnny Dalton (Jeff Fahey) who are doing research on cloning. Little do they know that the group has manage to invade their workplace and Frank pulled out a gun enough to kill one member before the two settled on a fight that caused Johnny to nearly died on head injury. Frank manage to save him and Johnny later woke up to find himself several years in the future… oh, and Frank told Johnny that he’s a clone. Given the title like Johnny 2.0, you do expect it to be about clones since I already brought it up anyway.

Jeff & Ironside
Frank showed Johnny 2.0 (and yeah, I’m calling him that) a picture of his original counterpart who is alive and well but “vanished” himself twelve months prior so expositions follow with both and Bosch (John Neville) giving the 411 on Johnny 2.0 including the point where he only has a week to live. So Johnny 2.0 has been paired up security member Taylor (Michael Rhoades) to track down original Johnny’s whereabouts. Johnny 2.0 then noticed Carlos (Von Flores) and they both are after him and his friends in a suburb that looks straight out of Max Headroom. They later find themselves in Church of the Holy-Gram (huh, that’s funny but also dumb pun) and Carlos and his man shoots Taylor while capturing Johnny 2.0.

Church Of The Holy-Grams
Trapped by the gang, Johnny 2.0 meets Nikki Holland (Tahnee Welch) in the cell and he explains what he’s doing and all, which leads to Nikki pretending to be a prisoner. Frank’s team of henchmen… I mean, security guards found the church through tracking system implanted on him and caused a shootout while Johnny 2.0 escapes and then helps Nikki and Carlos so he switches team. Johnny 2.0 and Nikki then meet up with her friends Dan-O (Cliff Saunders) and Phil (Eugene Lipinski) who checks on the clone and his “tracking system” whereabouts. Johnny 2.0 and Nikki later find a quiet spot enough to dance alone and making love just before Johnny 2.0 got briefly attacked by his original self.

Old Johnny
The fight stopped and the two settled while Taylor reawaken back in Frank’s building and prepares to get the Johnnys and their friends which breaks into the base. Original Johnny however didn’t survive enough since he got shot and both Johnny 2.0 and Nikki are then caught by Frank and Taylor which Bosch reappeared to give us a couple of twist moments – one is that he’s a holographic projection and that his brain patterns belongs to none other than a preserved body of… the actual, original Johnny Dalton!

John Neville
And also, the “one week to live” is a lie so that’s a cliché I didn’t see outside of Escape From LA. Nikki later escapes and stopped Johnny 2.0 (still using that name) from getting killed in transplant to his original counterpart which leads to Johnny/Bosch destroyed along with his holographic patterns. Nikki then pretends to be Bosch in a meeting with other businessman from around the world and she relieved and escorted Frank out. The movie ends with Johnny 2.0 and Nikki winning victoriously and the world is still in a dystopian state since Frank and Bosch are not really leaders of this futuristic society.

Michael Ironside
This movie is not bad but it makes me feel like I should watch a better cyberpunk vehicle instead since it has similarities to Johnny Mnemonic and Blade Runner (with one part of the score being inspired by The Terminator). As usual, Jeff did good as both Johnnys and Michael Ironside is always sold as a bad guy while John Neville did a good turn playing one as well. The other actors are merely forgettable and the story did track on a bit so it’s a slow, action piece that is only worth seeing once. Again, it’s not bad but only can be rewatched if you want a Cyberpunk kick with a low-budget feel.

Janu-Fahey Month 2.0: The Eden Formula (aka Tyrannosaurus Wrecks)

February 8, 2016 § Leave a comment

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So to get past the cheesy made-for-television movie that is Every Woman’s Dream, it’s now time to get to the other cheesy made-for-television movie which is The Eden Formula or according to the copy I have, Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. And oh boy, I don’t know how it took this long to tackle a dinosaur movie. I always wanted to review a movie that involves a dinosaur to be honest but I don’t know why it took this long because ever since Jurassic Park hits the scene, we have stuff like Carnosaur, Prehysteria! and a bunch of Asylum movies like 100 Billion BC which I brought several years ago but have yet to see it.

Cover

Now I would bring up the director of this piece but for now, I’ll save that until later because it’s a good way this time. We open the movie with the weirdest knockoff of Superman opening credits ever with the city lights being heavily blurred to make it look like it’s a million lens flare. Over at Calgorin Industries, a security guard got shot by a home terrorist member whose villain catchphrase is “Smith and Wesson” and he along with the other local terrorists are following the leads by James Radcliffe (Tony Todd). Within the building, both Dr Harrison Parker (Jeff Fahey) and his friend Rhonda (Dee Wallace) are just hanging before they noticed that their cloned pet project escaped the cell – the pet being a motherfucking T-Rex.

T-Rex
They also find out that the building has been hacked by Radcliffe’s team with the worst computer screen ever. Outside the building, the T-Rex goes on carnage in the streets of Los Angeles which has not many people panicking since it’s night and a bunch of civilians are asleep or doing something else. It still didn’t stop the dinosaur from killing some people that’s awake (including turning off the radio in a petrol station, yes, dinosaurs can apparently do that). Also, the T-Rex spots a fake T-Rex in the park and eats a janitor after the janitor discovers the dinosaur’s poop.

Computer
Harrison and Rhonda discovered the only surviving security guard Riley (Don Luce) and they all attempt to escape but oh no, they are caught by one of the terrorists in the stairs so Harrison kicks his ass and kills him by stair-fall. Back to Radcliffe and his team and they got one of the building’s workers Miss Revers (Paula Ficara) captive because they want the formula. It didn’t take long before the group found out about their member’s death and it leads to a shootout. Back outside and we have Officer Pattison (Sarah Elbert) finding the building suspicious after encountering one of the terrorists dressed as a security guard earlier. So what does she do? She talks to her mother on the phone.

Police Officer

The alarm has been sounded and the T-Rex heard it so he goes back to his former home while banging his head to the wall again. The dinosaur drew notice to Radcliffe’s team and he eat two of the member’s head while Radcliffe throws a knife at Miss Revers’ head and kicked Harrison’s ass before the dinosaur escaped again. Rhonda also escaped with Officer Pattison but the officer became another victim to the dinosaur and Rhonda escapes in the cop car all panicking and stuff. With Harrison and Riley captive, Harrison noticed Radcliffe and shocker of all shocks – they knew each other before.

Jeff & Tony

While Rhonda is contacting the only cop in charge (and also a 911 operator) who doesn’t believe in the dinosaur escape, we then cut to a random drunk guy talking to another guy at the bus stop before the T-Rex appeared and killed that drunk guy (the other and people within the area escaped at least). And then, a long sequence of a movie-within-a-movie with a female cast member fighting other cast members in the alley before the big bad appears which leads her to flub her line that enraged a manic director. The filming became halted when the dinosaur appeared and eat the director. I wish I was making this shit up as I go along but this is actually in the movie.

Directing

Rhonda tries calling the only cop in charge again and same thing happens but back to the dinosaur rampaging the LA streets with the only security guard go on a suicide mission by getting out of the trailer and shoot the dinosaur before he died which is really something. Again, I wish I was making this up. Rhonda then used the cop siren which immediately has robbers stealing the stereo run away… and Rhonda steals the stereo herself but for a good reason. And with Harrison and Riley still captive, Radcliffe did the bad thing by stabbing Riley in the hand but Harrison manage to escape with Riley so whoops.

Jeff & Knife

Still ravaging the almost-empty streets, the T-Rex smelled somebody smoking so the smoker became another victim while a limo near him crashes to another car. But enough of all that, Riley is revealed to be a traitor and Harrison knocked him out in the toilet and that’s before he burns the formula and other evidence so Radcliffe can’t get into it. Riley did eventually get awaken and knocks Harrison out though. It later became morning and some guy noticed the T-Rex and is about to become another victim but Rhonda returns by setting up multiple stereos and a dynamite to attract the dinosaur’s attention which worked.

Explosion

With Harrison, Radcliffe and his remaining team on the outside, it leads to a battle between Harrison and Riley. The fight ends with Radcliffe becoming the last victim as Harrison escapes with Rhonda and the building explodes with remaining dynamite (how did she get it is a good question) ending the movie that way. Okay, this is quite possibly the most, hilarious batshit insane and very bad Dinosaur movie that I have ever seen and I am so laughing my ass off for this one. This is really one that must be seen to be believed and all thanks to the director which I’m about to bring up now.

Building Explosion

The director in this is John Carl Buechler and he already is notable for genre work back in the 80s and 90s. For one, he’s the guy who directed the first Troll movie… Oh yeah, he’s the guy whom is unintentionally responsible for starting a loose franchise that includes a more notoriously bad sequel known as Troll II as well as giving the name of a lead character Harry Potter before J.K. Rowling became a bestseller. He is also responsible for Friday The 13th Part VII, Ghoulies III, The Dungeonmaster (well, as one of the four directors) and Watchers Reborn as well as make-up and special effects work plus I should point out that he also wrote the movie so you can tell he knows how to make a B-movie since he’s well-known for that field since the eighties.

John Carl Buechler

And it brings us the story. I mentioned that Every Woman’s Dream comes off as a bit schizophrenic in terms of switching genres but this movie switches stories so much that I didn’t mention other stuff going on. It’s being criticized for boring plot and I can see that it drags on a bit but with the low-budget dinosaur appearance (which was notably lifted from Carnosaur) and few other questionable WTF moments, it makes up for it. Jeff is good in this movie but the person who generally tole the show is Tony Todd since he acted so serious and not half-assed that he knows he’s in a bad movie and don’t give a fuck. He’s really better than anybody acting in this movie including Jeff which I really have to admit.

Tony Todd
Dee Wallace is also good but mostly on the hammiest acting part imaginable. She may be several years away from E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial but she chewed the scenery so brilliantly. I may say the same for Don Luce since he started off as a bumbling security guard but did a villain heel turn and became another antagonist. This movie is worth checking out if you like Birdemic or Neil Breen’s Double Down, it really is that bad that is also laughable and hypnotic at the same time and that is enough of me to say about this so four movies down and four to go.

Janu-Fahey Month 2.0: Every Woman’s Dream

February 1, 2016 § Leave a comment

295888_fullNote: Despite its lateness, this review (and the one after this) is intended for Janu-Fahey Month 2.0 while the other four are part of Janu-Fahey Month 2.1. In other words, January 2016 really sucks and February is already here so uh, let’s just get to the review.

Well, we’re on to 90s cheesy romantic thriller. This one is a very mixed genre even since there is one Basic Instinct on that side and there is Sleeping With The Enemy on the other side and nowadays, we could watch those for comedic purposes but then again, we might sleep on it and forget that we were watching it afterwards. It also may be as god-awful as any found footage movies or spoof movies but there is a bit of charm somewhere or everywhere. And this movie is a good test for me since this is one movie that came out shortly after this type of genre craze died out.

Color Of Night

But there is a funny side to this, the movie is based on a novel by Karen Kingsbury, an well-known christian novelist so Jeff Fahey in a christian movie? I’ve seen Revelations so this might be hilarious to watch. The director Steven Schachter might add to the charm as well since well, I haven’t seen all movies but upon checking his IMDB page, he has made seven movies that starred William H. Macy (plus William co-wrote a few of those including this one) and this movie is not one of them. It doesn’t help that one of Steven/William’s collaborations is Above Suspicion starring Christopher Reeve as a paralysed cop… that got its premiere six days before Christopher got into an accident that left him paralysed until his death. Uh, yeah, this review got depressing so fast so uh… can we cut to the first image of Every Woman’s Dream to hopefully lighten us up.

Jeff 1

The movie begins focusing on how Mitch Parker (Jeff Fahey) became obsessed with woman to the point of him marrying Candy (DeLane Matthews). While living with Candy’s family, he tries his best to not having his family life collide with his life of working and sleeping with random woman to the point where he lied to his wife about working with CIA. At that point, he met Liz Wells (Kim Cattrall) on the airplane and they kindle their own romance which now goes to the point of him marrying her as well.

Wedding

Mitch then is working his ways to keep his marriage with Candy a secret from Liz and vice versa while he begins to suffer from financial problems. The problems made Kim’s father John (Walter Addison) suspicious and did a quick checking on Mitch. After that, he told Liz about Mitch not working for Disney (yeah, another lie Mitch made up) and leads to Liz going to Mitch’s office. Liz still believes in her husband and they went out to drive before Mitch discovers his other wife which leads him to think having Liz moved to the same town as Candy a bad idea and decides to alert Candy and the family to get out-of-town because of bogus CIA danger.

Newspaper

It took a bit before things go almost back to normal when Mitch and Liz are spotted by Candy’s friend while he unsuccessfully tries to buy a new house and Candy grows suspicious on what’s going on as well which has her calling CIA. Back to Liz and she goes back to Mitch’s office to find… a different person working there. Mitch himself is having a double marital crisis right down to holding captive on Liz and tries to reason with her before he walks away. Liz then hires a private investigator and then found out about Candy so they plan to go to cops about this and destroy his reputation.

Symbolism

This didn’t go well for Liz when Mitch spotted her and tries to reason with her again. And then, he shot her a few times and got himself arrested ending the movie with a narrator (Paul Linke) finishing up this story. Uh, this is a strange movie. To clarify a bit, it may come off as a romantic thriller but it jumps into psychological thriller, comedy about infidelity and whatever that I’m not sure what kind of movie it is. It is at best okay for one-time viewing but I hate to say that it’s probably a least-favorite of mine in terms of Jeff’s body of work.

Jeff 2

One thing I should brought up is that this movie is also somewhat a period piece since the events taking place is within late 80s to early 90s timeframe and did it work? Well, I didn’t notice any nostalgic values on this movie so no chance of Jeff Fahey dressing up like he came back from Miami Vice convention to be honest. And the christianity aspect is very minimal here which is not much really. It’s really a forgettable schizophrenic piece and only suited if you’re a completist so uh, I should watch something that I hope is better than this.

 

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