Asylum Seeker: Sharknado – The 4th Awakens

November 17, 2016 § Leave a comment

I’ve waited a few months until I get to this movie. Honestly, I have talking too much about Sharknado when it comes to three movies and a comic book but now, I have to talk further more about it not because of this movie but also the documentary and mockumentary devoted to this. The timing couldn’t have been better but given that I’m already getting this Sharknado fatigue since the third movie, I am making my point that as a movie masochist that I’ll keep checking the franchise until it’s officially done or I’ll finally give up and I would say that this movie might be the end but no, there’s gonna be a fifth one so I am eating my hat either way.


And how do I know this is not the end? Well, let’s see. Taking place five years after the events of the third movie, Fin (Ian Ziering) is living his life in Kansas with his youngest son Gil (Christopher and Nicolas Shone), his mother Raye (Cheryl Tiegs) and cousin Gemini (Masiela Lusha). As both Fin and Gemini travels to Las Vegas to reunite with his son Matt (Cody Linley). Little do they know that Matt is about to marry Gabrielle (Imani Hakim) in the airplane with a priest. Oh, and Las Vegas has a hotel that includes the biggest aquarium full of sharks so surely nothing will happen to that.


Yeah, another Sharknado warning happened and it shouldn’t happened at all since multi-millionaire Aston Reynolds (Tommy Davidson) thought he has done anything in his power to prevent it since he started it years ago along with the help of Gilbert (David Hasselhoff) who was stuck in the moon for enough time for his spacesuit to sustain his oxygen. Beyond that, Fin and Gemini made it safely with him meeting the newly married couple and it’s off back to Kansas. Meanwhile in San Francisco, we find out where April (Tara Reid) is up to and this is something but she was thought to be dead by her family thanks to her father and scientist Wilford (Gary Busey) while the family themselves think she died thanks to the closing events of the third movie. Also, she has superhuman strength thanks to her father’s science experiments.


The crisis isn’t over since it now spreads to places including Kansas, San Francisco, Chicago and Salt Lake City and Aston tries to find a way which includes him destroying the Grand Canyon. Fin and the other three tries to get to Kansas which includes meeting Colton West (Steve Guttenberg) and witnessing Paul Shaffer who’s now a homeless musician. No really, this is what David Letterman’s friend is doing in 2020. One makes me wonder if Donald Trump succeeded as President in this universe as well but then again, I am fearful at what he does in real life now so back to the movie.


Back in San Francisco and April discovers her husband and family is alive and well and miraculously meet up with Gilbert and her daughter Claudia (Ryan Newman) thanks to their car falling near her. Fin then made in time to see Gil but the tornado rampaged so much that sharks dropped on Gabrielle, Raye is left behind in shelter and the three were thrown to Chicago. Survive with Matt not mourning the loss of his day-old wife (no really, her existence is never brought up again and he acts fine), their appearance in Chicago draws attention to both the others so Fin is finally reunited with his wife and it’s up to them along with Aston to travel to Niagara Falls to stop the nuclear-filled Sharknado.


Aston tries to prevent but failed which leads to him falling to death in the water and it’s up to Gilbert to do but no, he got taken away by a Shark. So yeah, Fin is the only hope and he decide to go to where Aston is last standing with a mechanical flying suit (also, he travels with April because she has boot flight powers) and he succeed but this is interesting, he got taken away from a shark just after two other sharks swallowed Gemini and Matt. And this is when it gets awful, those sharks then got swallowed by a blue whale and it’s now up to Gil to get them old with his little chainsaw. I am not fucking kidding here.


The family are alive thanks to Gil, Aston turns out to be alive all along in one post-credit scene (where he walks on water) and the whole movie finally ends with another post-credit scene where the Eiffel Tower hits near them with a silhouette of Nova holding up her weapon signalling a possible fifth installment. So it took me a while but I have finally seen it to see how good or bad it is. And the truth of the matter is that I feel nothing while watching this. This movie is another “rehash sequel” involving the same set-up of a family surviving a tornado full of sharks as well as stopping it one way or another and I already seen this set-up three times before this. There is nothing new to add and it goes to the point where I didn’t enjoy this, hate this or anything else other than being very bored.


Yes, there are cameos from Wayne Newton to Carrot Top to Jedward (again!) but what cameos does it matter really? It is getting repetitive that the only ones I am fine with is David Faustino reprising as Bud Bundy and Gilbert Gottfried playing Ron McDonald (really?) but that’s it. There’s also referential humor but as much as it parodies The Wizard of Oz, Christine and Evil Dead saga, it also took a big part on the Star Wars franchise and yeah, I prefer watching David Hasselhoff using lightsaber in Starcrash than him meeting up with two of his Baywatch co-stars in this so the humor is really lame, it’s copy-and-pasted and really uninteresting.


Also, am I okay with the near-future setting? Well, I explained that I do give a bit of credit for Independence Day: Resurgence for its alternate history setting but this movie? I don’t really care. Even if the fifth one took place a century from now or is a prequel reboot taking place in the 1900s, I still don’t care. So boo-hoo that it takes place in 2020, this movie sucks regardless of where and when it sets. And yeah, this is me summing up the movie – it sucks and it’s really a waste of time, intelligence and patience. I am getting to Feeding Frenzy and Heart of Sharkness very shortly since it’s on my pile but I’m gonna end this review by saying that Sharknado: The 4th Awakens is not only the worst installment in the franchise (so far!) but also the worst movie to come out this year.


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