The Ridiculous Six (Recap Part 3)

December 18, 2016 § Leave a comment

When it comes to critical reception, it depends on what kind of opinion it represents and I do have to say that I’m not much for Rotten Tomatoes. There are movies I liked that is not certified fresh and there are movies I hate that is over 50% and over. And that site is just a consensus full of critics that likes or hates any movie along with an audience score that proves otherwise. And the thing about it is both this movie and Bucky Larson: Born to Be A Star are at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to Adam Sandler since both are 0% but it is more sad that The Master of Disguise, That’s My Boy and I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry is better than these two even though those sucked for various reasons.

Chuck And Larry.jpg

And honestly, I wish there’s a minus percentage because this movie is so below zero percent and how I say that is because we return with the six as they have woken up and got involved in the world’s first baseball game with Abner Doubleday (John Turturro) planning it out in the most terrible way. At least this movie has a bit of historical accuracy in that Abner is not really the inventor of Baseball as some claimed to be. But other than that, they played the game just to get info from Abner about Frank Stockburn and they did. Meanwhile, Doc Griffin is now giving exposition to the Left-Eye Gang while putting Smiley’s head back in the body.

reservoir-six

Clem however is in charge of watching Smoking Fox which didn’t work since thanks to his right eye being damaged, Fox manage to escape so the whole capturing her because of Tommy is really as pointless as the baseball game sequence. Speaking of which, we return to the six as they plan another steal by having Pete motorboating a sheriff’s wife and the sheriff sentence him for public hanging which didn’t work out since remember I mention that Pete has a strong neck and is not concerned about being hanged? Yeah, he got hanged but is still alive and trolling the public with him swinging around.

taylor

They stolen cash and Tommy shoots the rope which leads to Pete flying to them. After their escape, they having fun in the river but the Left-Eye Gang appears and taken their cash and stuff leaving them back to square one. During it, Danny did show his special ability by coming out of the water after several minutes and shooting them. Walking alone in the desert, Tommy revealed to his brothers that their father is dying and they are shocked but still wanted to re-connect to him even if it’s for a short time. Danny then revealed what made him the way it is and that’s due to the fact that he was a bodyguard to Abraham Lincoln (Dan Patrick) who let John Wilkes Booth (Chris Kattan) go to “meet” the President because Danny is a huge fan of Booth’s acting work.

playbill

Following it, Herm discovered a way to get further cash and gold and that’s by stealing it from Ezekiel Grant (Jon Lovitz) during his poker game so Ramon decide to play along as a Mexican poker player with Chico and Herm as his back-up. Ezekiel invited General Custer (David Spade) and Mark Twain (Vanilla Ice) with Mark dropping some beats (literally) about his body of work. Ezekiel’s wife has taken Chico away from the piano and wants to fuck his brains out leaving Herm a bit panicked. He however did hear Ezekiel talk about the time he encounter Herm’s mother in a harsh, angry manner. Outside of the game, Tommy sneaks in by pretending to be a tumbleweed and it worked.

vanilla-ice

Herm followed Ezekiel to another room and strangles him because of what Ezekiel said earlier. The game however turned awkward with Wyatt Earp (Blake Shelton) joining in the game while being suspicious of Ramon’s appearance. The suspicion has led to Ramon giving a secret signal to his brothers by putting his two hands on his face with his mouth opened. And then, Custer then drops the worst pun reference in the whole movie by saying that he put on the same face when he puts his cologne in the morning… including the words “when I’m HOME ALONE” that came out of his mouth and he’s say it in a wink-at-the-camera manner.

david-spade

The heist however worked with Ezekiel’s now widowed wife coming in wondering what she missed. The six escaped as usual and are near the singing windmill when they noticed the Left-Eye Gang all captured and trapped in the ground. They begged them to get out with Tommy agreeing only if they stopped doing crimes and wrong-doings, they decline and they about to walk away but the gang again begs to get out and agree to Tommy’s words so they are digged out.

will-forte

I think it’s best to stop there and we are close to finishing the movie. It has gotten worse each by the minute and it’s not just the painfully shoehorned reference to a 1990 movie classic that made it bad, it’s not that Vanilla Ice is just playing Vanilla Ice with Mark Twain cosplay and it’s not Taylor acting so badly that he has lost fans of “Team Jacob” at this point. I will explain how bad it is in due time but suffice to say, it’s nearly over and I can see why this is at the bottom of Rotten Tomatoes percentage but it is more sad that even with that, it is also the highest-viewed movie in Netflix history. And you thought Fuller House was a huge mistake from the network. So anyway, until next time then… I guess!

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