Grizzly Flats

April 1, 2017 § Leave a comment

It has been a little more break since all I had to do is finish up every single episode of The Wonder Years but my sad excuse for “having a vacation” is over and I am returning to my so-called “Lookback Reviews” series. And already, I am less optimistic about this movie because I wrote down a list of what to review in the coming weeks and let’s just say that the first of the list is a boring and pathetic mess of a movie. Grizzly Flats is a 2011 movie from Anthony Fankhauser who gave us 2012: Supernova which I thought was so bad since I assume NASA having federal agents is a science fiction thing which clearly isn’t.

But other than that, he is perhaps more known (in a lesser extent) as a producer for such movies as Film: The Movie, Earthtastrophe and Lavalantula movies. Which reminds me, I need to add 2 Lava 2 Lantula on my list so yeah, need to get into lot of those. He also directed 8213: Gacy House which is a found footage movie where a bunch of ghost hunters investigate the home of John Wayne Gacy… that was demolished in 1979! Uh well, gonna find a famous serial killer as a basis for a found footage horror movie somehow so maybe Charles Manson’s house is not gonna work or something.

Taking place in a town known as Grizzly Flats, the movie begins as Sheriff Donnelly (Judd Nelson) is filming a porn with his girlfriend Renee (Danielle De Luca). However, they spotted an intruder which turns out to be a… shadow-like transparent ghost! The thing attacked them but they somehow survived with Renee having scars on her face. We then meet up with Sylvain (Ryan Karloff) as he is working on an experiment after quitting the job and moving into the town with his wife Mary Anne (Maggie VandenBerghe) but despite him thinking the experiment failed, it actually worked and he became responsible for those shadow figures that terrorize small parts of the town.

And while he thinks his place is invaded by his neighbors known as the McConnellys, Mary Anne discovers a gourd and became disillusion enough to raise it as if it’s her baby with town’s local pastor Ron (Christian Maurice Gantt) as the only one who supports her. Sylvain gets a visit from Red McConnelly about a truce and offers a meth to him before he went and get killed by a shadow figure. After that, both Sylvain and Red’s brother and father then discover a body of one of the shadow figures and keep it a secret before Sylvain is losing his sanity over his experiment and Mary Anne raising a gourd. He used a meth and discovers he can see shadow figures more visible and get what his experiment is meant for.

Sylvain then meets up with Mary Anne and Ron and became a total dick to the pastor but then the shadow figures invade the house and leads Sylvain to shoot ’em all out before surviving the night. They survived but after Ron runs away, Sylvain decides to move away but Mary Anne prefers to stay and threatens him with his gun. Sylvain then goes to the McConnelly family and the three became high with meth that they shoot rest of shadow figures before it leads Sylvain as the sole survivor. He went back home and decides to cook for Mary Anne which turns out to be her baby gourd. She became enraged that she shoots him and the movie ends with Sheriff taking Renee’s body after she got caught in a car crash and became sad that he sat silently while the credit rolls by.

Oh fuck, what do I have to say about this movie? Okay, I may as well bring out the positives and there is few. First, it’s a movie where the story sounds interesting on paper. The idea of a scientist discovering he caused something from a distant dimension to come here and wreak havoc is something and it is intriguing. And in terms of acting, there is some ham in there but the cheesy acting comes within the third act. The only other positive thing is that Ryan did pull it off as scientist but as a husband figure is another thing which I’ll get into.

Anything else is bad, just plain bad. For up until the last twenty or so minutes of the movie, it’s literally boring and a little happens. There’s many scenes of them talking in monotone way and I just want some scare factor or any moment but it took a while before one of those popped up. Plus even though Ryan acted like a scientist well, his character is also irredeemable by acting like a prick to nearly everybody including his wife. For a guy playing a hero, he sure is acting like a douchebag. The acting on everybody else is forgettable and I feel more sorry for Judd Nelson then when he was playing a villain in Steel. Yeah, I feel sorry for Judd over this movie instead of the movie starring Shaq. I mean, he was a household name in the eighties thanks to The Breakfast Club and St Elmo’s Fire and this is where he’s at now. He even acted badly in this so this is him doing a paycheck without a care even with Danielle standing topless in front of him.

I do honestly say that this is the first worst movie I’ve seen in a long while and I don’t mean by so-bad-its-good standards. Then again, I got other crap to get into soon so will I still hate this movie with a passion or forget about it shortly after is a good question. Other than that, I should have looked at Anthony’s other movies like Tsunami Beach Club or Rise of the Dinosaurs and I bet those are better than this boring excuse of a horror movie.

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