The Bibleman Show: Silencing The Gossip Queen

July 30, 2017 § Leave a comment

If there’s anything I should discuss about Bibleman that I haven’t, it’s that I should talk about his origin. And really, I should have since it’s part of the opening credits sequence, the origin has Miles living his wealthy life with money, success and so on but he feels like life is more than that and he rages out in rain while throwing his documents away. As he got to the ground, he discovers the bible in the dirt and then a light beams on him which signals the beginning of the hero. And since I talk about the origin, I should also over-analyse one part of it because it might be the weakest superhero origin I ever seen.

The question being why is the bible in the ground? I’m not sure if it’ll ever be followed up but this is quite possibly the question that I honestly wanna know the answer to. On one hand, it might be part of god’s plan but on another hand, it is caused by somebody who used to be a believer and he or she decide to toss it in the ground. And before anybody ask, it is possible Miles did it himself since he throw the documents out but we didn’t see he opening up the suitcase and shoot the bible there. Going back to somebody tossing the bible, there’s a scenario I should bring up which is what might happen if Miles didn’t rage-quit and the bible is left in the ground. Imagine somebody else found it and become God’s chosen superhero.

We may never know but for now, it is time to look at Silencing The Gossip Queen which is the final episode of The Bibleman Show (and don’t worry, I look at The Bibleman Adventure within next month). As Miles is doing his work, he is noticed by the villainess known simply as The Gossip Queen (Maylo McCaslin) as she orders her henchman Loose Lips and Blabbermouth (both uncredited) to kidnap Bibleman as well as breaking up the youth music group just by gossiping and guess what? That youth group is the same group of kids seen in last episode so at least continuity has been kept.

The two henchmen throw the gossip towards Ricky (Joe Carr) and the plan worked into some degree. As for Bibleman, he did get captured and is taking to The Gossip Queen before he is then let go (?!?) and with a bit of pain. He became fine quickly and help the group got back together before he has gone back to The Gossip Queen’s hideout and defeat her and her henchmen just by using his light saber while Gossip Queen uses her powers which got indirectly back to the three and they died. The episode ended with the group back together and Bibleman giving his thumbs up.

It’s a fairly weak episode but do I really expect anything much really. I could say the only positive part is that Willie got his wife to play the villain plus she and the henchmen have a musical number which is a first for Bibleman series to my knowledge. The downside is that she played it in a Jewish stereotype look which looks anti-semitic plus does Willie know that Jesus Christ is Jewish right? Then again, I’m going for current and more notable interpretation of the son of god and there’s more than one thanks to one episode of American Gods. And lastly, is it just me or is Loose Lips and Blabbermouth dressed somewhat familiar?

There is honestly a little much to discuss really since the plot is quick and simple but oh well, I got plenty of more to look at so it’s just another meh episode for me. I do expect further episodes to be like that but hey, I can be wrong.

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Nine Lives

July 20, 2017 § Leave a comment

When it comes to Hollywood, actors and actresses have stumbled on one role that the masses have ripped to pieces. And those stars have done it maybe for a paycheck or something else but while some have escaped their dignity and be on better roles since then, many have little care and continue to work on crap that is so beneath them. Which is why I may like Dwayne Johnson right now but he should really fire his agent fast or else I’ll think of him as the “Adam Sandler of Action Movies”.

And here enters Kevin Spacey, a man who made a big break with Glengarry Glen Ross before he gained further notice in The Usual Suspects and American Beauty. Now he nearly got to a low point whether it’s a cameo in Goldmember or him as Lex Luthor in Superman Returns but even that, his role in those two that I mentioned are memorable. So when that moment came to him being a bad movie, we all know how to feel about it so Fred Claus? Nah, he’s fine. Horrible Bosses? Well, he appeared in a sequel. Nine Lives? Oh there we go. A movie where Frank Underwood became a cat.

This movie focuses on Tom Brand (Kevin Spacey) who is living the life. He is a CEO of a company that made him in a cover to Forbes, now married to his second wife Lara (Jennifer Ganer) and raising his second child Rebecca (Malina Weissman). Leading up to Rebecca’s birthday, she asked her dad for a cat and Tom at first refused since he doesn’t like cats but a chance made him get it anyway when he stumbled onto a pet store owned by Felix Perkins (Christopher Walken).

On his way home, he meets up with Ian Cox (Mark Consuelos) on top of the building which leads to them having an argument. An argument that is interrupted by a lightning strike that led to Tom falling along with his recently picked cat and nearly died but they crashed to a nearby window and Tom went into a coma. His mind however is transferred to cat and all he has to do is find ways to go back to his human form as well as trying to save his company and his family’s trust including his son David (Robbie Amell) who works with him.

This movie is bad and it is coming a mile away after we all seen the trailer. While the acting is fine at times, the storyline is a been-there-done-that routine involving a workaholic father is facing a crisis and the movie not only has noticeable bad CGI effects involving the cat but there’s a few involving base jumping and even Kevin going to the lift with green screen behind him.

This is definitely Kevin’s low career point but he did manage to get back up with him continuing playing his role in House of Cards and recently got praised in Baby Driver. As for others, uh, Christopher Walken is in his usual Walken-esque so him in a cat movie is as expected as that SNL skit where he’s an owner of cats.

Unless you want it for the family or for bad movie night entertainment, just avoid it since it’s another crap directed by Barry Sonnenfeld whom he’s a guy I forgot to bring up before the synopsis but then again, he hasn’t done much good since the first Men In Black movie so there’s not much bother. Then again, watching Nine Lives makes The Wild, Wild West look better by comparison. Eh, that is something I never thought I wrote. Oh well, I got Bibleman next week so hopefully it won’t be a episode in which he got turned into a cat or something.

The Bibleman Show: The Six Lies Of The Fibbler

July 9, 2017 § Leave a comment

Returning to my lookback series of reviews and it has been this long hasn’t it since this is the third Bibleman episode I’m reviewing and the last time I look at the show was five years ago. So much has radically changed since then and I have that much catching up to do so this week I am looking at an episode entitled The Six Lies Of The Fibbler and already I am concerned about the title. I mean, I get what the word “Fibbler” means since it’s a mix of fibber and liar but uh, it’s a children’s show and had I not known what that word means, I would have mistaken it for a supervillain who’s into children in a Stranger Danger manner.

But I do need to recap a bit about Bibleman and I find it a bit surprise that I didn’t look much in the back story on my previous two reviews. Bibleman is a show created by former child star Willie Aames and it not gained three different incarnations but also spawned live shows, an animated series, action figures and even a board game. Really, there’s also a video game that got few infamous reviews on YouTube. I did bring up years ago that it spawned a parody on MadTV in which Michael McDonald took on the role on Bibledube and I should reviewing those but given that each sketch’s runtime is few minutes, it’s best to stick where it’s parodied from instead.

The episode begins in the home of Miles Peterson (Willie Aames) as he walks to get his helmet. Also, his home looks like a mix of medieval batcave and 1950s horror movie laboratory with chemicals. We then meet with Ashley (Ashley Perry) who’s late to see her friends for their forthcoming rehearsal and under control by the villainous known as The Fibbler (Bill Murphy) who hides in the tree, she gives lying excuses to her friends. Bibleman himself appears and checks on the rehearsal but thought he saw something but forgets about it quickly.

Ashley’s friend Ryan (Roman Sienkiewicz) then apologizes for starting the argument and thought she could help out a cassette tape full of their music. Later on, The group performs on church and was set to perform more but Ashley forgot and continues to lie in front of her friends and Miles, even with The Fibbler in the room controlling her actions in front of her and her friends. Miles changes to Bibleman later and greets people before he finally notice The Fibbler and have a lightsaber-like fight.

The fight is stopped by one of Ashley’s friends who mentioned Ashley quits the group and The Fibbler disappeared. As Bibleman returns to the Eagle Gate (which is the name of his headquarters thanks to a narration speak during this episode), he checks on profiles of villains he fought like…

He then discovers The Fibbler’s profile and thanks lord for this. On the following day, Ashley’s friends talk about them letting Ashley know that they are there for her. Miles comes in and they left but not before he talks to one of them about what’s going on. He changes into Bibleman and meets with Ashley in an empty playground (again, nothing creepy at all) about what’s going on. After few bible verses and talk, Bibleman wants Ashley to be honest and she accepts before he presumably sends her home.

Ashley meets with her friends and apologizes to her friends about her lies. They forgiven her which angered The Fibbler. He then got discovered by Bibleman and they fought again before The Fibbler is defeated and killed off by his lightsaber electrocution. The episode then ends with Miles thanking god and the group performing their song even when the credits start rolling so yeah, the episode needs to finish up fast.

Okay, outside of musical numbers and few weird paedophilac-like overtones, this episode is pretty okay. It really has been five years since I’ve seen this and oh boy, there is more to look forward to so I’ll be looking at The Bibleman Show sometime in the future so much your calendar when I’m looking at Silencing The Gossip Queen in 2022. Fine fine, I shouldn’t lie but I will be looking at that episode within the next few weeks. That, and I’ll watch others within this year and later. Either that or I’ll be looking at Bibledude instead.

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