Nine Lives

July 20, 2017 § Leave a comment

When it comes to Hollywood, actors and actresses have stumbled on one role that the masses have ripped to pieces. And those stars have done it maybe for a paycheck or something else but while some have escaped their dignity and be on better roles since then, many have little care and continue to work on crap that is so beneath them. Which is why I may like Dwayne Johnson right now but he should really fire his agent fast or else I’ll think of him as the “Adam Sandler of Action Movies”.

And here enters Kevin Spacey, a man who made a big break with Glengarry Glen Ross before he gained further notice in The Usual Suspects and American Beauty. Now he nearly got to a low point whether it’s a cameo in Goldmember or him as Lex Luthor in Superman Returns but even that, his role in those two that I mentioned are memorable. So when that moment came to him being a bad movie, we all know how to feel about it so Fred Claus? Nah, he’s fine. Horrible Bosses? Well, he appeared in a sequel. Nine Lives? Oh there we go. A movie where Frank Underwood became a cat.

This movie focuses on Tom Brand (Kevin Spacey) who is living the life. He is a CEO of a company that made him in a cover to Forbes, now married to his second wife Lara (Jennifer Ganer) and raising his second child Rebecca (Malina Weissman). Leading up to Rebecca’s birthday, she asked her dad for a cat and Tom at first refused since he doesn’t like cats but a chance made him get it anyway when he stumbled onto a pet store owned by Felix Perkins (Christopher Walken).

On his way home, he meets up with Ian Cox (Mark Consuelos) on top of the building which leads to them having an argument. An argument that is interrupted by a lightning strike that led to Tom falling along with his recently picked cat and nearly died but they crashed to a nearby window and Tom went into a coma. His mind however is transferred to cat and all he has to do is find ways to go back to his human form as well as trying to save his company and his family’s trust including his son David (Robbie Amell) who works with him.

This movie is bad and it is coming a mile away after we all seen the trailer. While the acting is fine at times, the storyline is a been-there-done-that routine involving a workaholic father is facing a crisis and the movie not only has noticeable bad CGI effects involving the cat but there’s a few involving base jumping and even Kevin going to the lift with green screen behind him.

This is definitely Kevin’s low career point but he did manage to get back up with him continuing playing his role in House of Cards and recently got praised in Baby Driver. As for others, uh, Christopher Walken is in his usual Walken-esque so him in a cat movie is as expected as that SNL skit where he’s an owner of cats.

Unless you want it for the family or for bad movie night entertainment, just avoid it since it’s another crap directed by Barry Sonnenfeld whom he’s a guy I forgot to bring up before the synopsis but then again, he hasn’t done much good since the first Men In Black movie so there’s not much bother. Then again, watching Nine Lives makes The Wild, Wild West look better by comparison. Eh, that is something I never thought I wrote. Oh well, I got Bibleman next week so hopefully it won’t be a episode in which he got turned into a cat or something.

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