Asylum Seeker: Thunderstorm: The Return Of Thor

November 30, 2017 § Leave a comment

Oh boy. Well, given that Thor: Ragnarok came out this month, I thought I am glad that I’m reviewing this because it’s the last Superhero movie made by TomCat Films (or Summer Hill Entertainment since they now acquired those movies) but I’m not glad because it turns out I’m a dumbass by forgetting that there’s also one more movie I didn’t check which is The Black Knight Returns. Uh, what can I say? I might be confusing it with The Black Bat Rises but it’s two different movies so yeah, I am stuck with TomCat Superhero Cinematic Universe for one more movie.

I’ll get to that one sometime next year but for now, let me look at what is possibly the most schlocky, low-budget superhero movie I’ve seen to date. And really, that’s expected since I already seen the other movies but as much as The Amazing Bulk is a work of weird as fuck and few others have their own sense of quality, this one is cheap from start to finish and it’s laughably bad. To obviously know how bad this movie is, it starts with five minutes of opening logos and the slowest opening crawl with a narration that sounds like it’s recorded in the bathroom.

Following the opening crawl that makes the one in Alone In The Dark start normal, the movie then cuts to Asgard looks like it’s located in Aurora Borealis?!? Anyway, Odin (Jurgen Vollrath) and Thor (Brett Kelly) appears as floating heads talking to each other even though they look like they are talking to us the audience. They explained that Ragnarok is coming and it’s caused by a group known Dauoi Raisa/The Death Risers as led by Evan (Jody Haucke) who’s tracking down three amulets to make up that Dragon’s Cross that brings Hel (Gabrielle Mackenzie) to Earth and be less over-the-top than her counterpart in the better Thor movie.

Meanwhile, Grant Farrel (Ray Besharah) and his friend Earl (Randy Kimmett) are working on a government suit that looks a bit like dollar-store version of War Machine suit with horns. Grant himself got struck by lightning by Thor because he is a current descendant of the God of Thunder and decides to take the mantle as the hero. The new Thor (or Thunderstorm which the movie should have been called Thunderstorm: The Offspring Of Thor or something) is trained by Earl with controlling his powers and got noticed by Detective Glenda Bronski (Celine Filion) who she and Grant became a “buddy cop” type duo defeating Hel, The Death Risers and a CGI Dragon that looks like James Nguyen is secretly involved in this.

In terms of superhero origin stories, it’s okay but felt like I’m watching a loose origin of Firestorm at one point and loose origin of Iron Man on the other. Granted, it’s a Thor movie and there is Norse mythology involved. The acting is atrocious but is fine as Hel right down to probably the only character wearing a probable outfit. The action scenes and effects is meh and lastly, the humor felt forced with Grant trying out his own superhero catchphrase but it didn’t work.

My say to this is if you wanna see an obscure bad superhero movie, this is up there but if you expect so-bad-its-good, expect elsewhere so now I am on to one more Superhero movie and then I would say I am done with TomCat Films but there’s a bunch I want to look at so yeah, no escaping that one.

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