January 14, 2018 § Leave a comment
Hey, remember when I reviewed a movie where Jeff Fahey plays a sketch artist who helps a early fame Courtney Cox on a crime case even though she’s blind? Well, how about I should look at a movie where Jeff is not a sketch artist but he’s a ex-cop involved in a situation… that, and he’s temporarily blind! Believe it or not, this is not the only movie I’m reviewing this month that has a loose connection with The Sketch Artist II so do wait next week for another James Tolkien appearance. I’m kidding but hey, when you get a title like Blindsided, do you expect to be about something else?
Blindsided is directed by Thomas Michael Donnelly who does nothing much really. Yeah, it’s a bit anticlimactic. He did direct movies like Quicksilver starring Kevin Bacon and wrote stuff as well so that’s pretty much it. I think I more to talk about the director of next week’s movie than this one so what else do I say really? Not much but it gives a quick check before we get to the movie so let’s roll.
After stealing cash from an operation, Former police officer Frank McKenna (Jeff Fahey) and his friend Lee (Brad Hunt) attempt to complete their plan but Frank got shot in the back of his neck which although he survived, he became temporarily blinded. Staying at Mexico to get his sight back through operation, he met a mysterious lady known simply as Chandler Strange (Mia Sara) and they fall for each other before she went away leaving Frank to wonder what happen to her.
They eventually get to see each other again but their love is caught in a web of deception, murder and lies as she is revealed to be a lover of Jessy Aruna (Rudy Ramos) who was in charge of money laundering operation that Frank and Lee were involved in. And Frank now has to give almost all the money back to Jessy while hoping to achieve love with Chandler or let go of her after he discovered her secrets.
Now this movie is pretty good and has a noir kind of feel but admittedly, it felt like I’m also watching a 1990s Erotic Thriller that’s tone down to PG-13 viewing and really, it shows. The movie has sex but it’s not that graphic and violence that is painfully little violent. It makes sense since this is made for television but if you make this movie in the same timeframe as Basic Instinct and Sliver but not have the risky feel, there’s a bit of problem there.
Obviously Jeff is fine and the same goes for Mia Sara as a femme fatale which I have to wonder why I don’t see much of her beyond Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The only other person good in this movie is the late, great Ben Gazzara as Frank’s former police partner and friend who helps Frank out even in troubled times. The movie is only worth checking out for the story and their acting alone. Nothing much beyond that really.
January 4, 2018 § Leave a comment
Getting to the good stuff and while I did say 2017 is not a bad year for me, 2018 may have started but it’s off to a bad start which I won’t get to since it’s personal but I’m trying to give it and make the show go on so no need to waste time and see what I like in the previous twelve months.
The Disaster Artist – You guys are familiar with Tommy Wiseau already plus I already reviewed the first season of his sitcom The Neighbors which reminds me “when is the second season gonna finally come out?” but getting back to it, this movie is indeed top of my list and I read the novel itself (even hear the audiobook which is also worth checking out) so you can see that I wanna watch the movie and while it is condensed, it is an enjoyable adaptation that James Franco has brought us and probably the best movie he has done so far which if you look at his previous directed works, you can see what I mean (and I have seen two movies to know that) plus he pulled it off as Tommy himself. This is the kind of tour de force that I laugh at all the way through and it is worth checking out even if you never read the novel or seen The Room.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi – This is quite possibly the most unexpected sequel in this new trilogy and that is saying much. It has caused a major divide to the fanbase old and new with Rian Johnson giving his direction in a surprise deconstructed-like way and shows how he can handle the torch-passing touch with this being more about Finn, Poe and Rey instead of Luke, Han and Leia. Some say it may be better than The Empire Strikes Back but I just see it as its own movie and others say it’s the worst movie in the franchise… Really? I don’t know but we are living in an age where any franchise takes a beating in most unexpected ways. I like this movie and I give Rian an applause for what he has done with this.
Justice League – Um, yeah? Speaking of “franchise takes a beating” and that it causes a major divide to the fanbase, here’s a movie I’ll be reviewing in months time. I won’t talk much about it yet but while I do notice the differences between Snyder and Whedon in terms of shooting scenes and James Cavill’s freaky CGI lips, it is at least a good consistent movie that unites the heroes in their effort against evil. Again, I won’t talk much about it but there’s good and bad points I will get to so I can’t wait to review this.
Thor: Ragnarok – Ever wanted to see Thor having a Flash Gordon-like adventure with Loki and Hulk? Well, this movie is for you. It diverges not only from the comic storyline of the same name but from the two previous Thor movies meaning this is Hemsworth, Middleston and Ruffalo not giving a fuck about how the movie went and decide to go with it. This movie is colorful, humorous and a total tone change from the source material so if you’re thinking “no, not another Thor movie with Kat Dennings ruining the mood?”, don’t worry because she’s not in it.
Split – I never thought to put a M. Night Shyamalan movie on the list but here it is apparently and it’s James McAvoy giving his all playing a guy with multiple personalities that seems not in human nature. Well it is by Shyamalan so what do you expect? It also sets good creepy tone and few surprises including a bit shoehorned moment near the end with a connection to Shyamalan’s previous movie but as much as it is shoehorned, McAvoy will return to this role(s) in the next movie and it’s a good effort from Blumhouse which is a company I generally avoid before this.
Twin Peaks – Oh, how this is a revival series that is indeed worth the wait? David Lynch has returned to the town that gave us good coffee, cherry pie and lines like “wrapped in plastic” but took it to eleven with new additions in the cast like Robert Forster and Amanda Seyfried, unexpected turning events and the eighth episode that is the most Lynchian thing David has ever done. Also, I can see David literally trolling the audience with these episodes even if he gives a ambiguous feel. The thing about this is why did it fall to few lists of worst shows last year? I find that odd but I think the opposite and it’s a journey worth taking and getting lost into. Oh, and got A light?
Mr Robot – This is a show I didn’t give much credit in here mainly because the first season is good but almost seems like a Fight Club clone and the second tries to distant from that, the third however is epic with the second stage being revealed and cause a tension whether it’s Elliott, Darlene, Angela and Mr Robot himself with twists and turns that keeps the stories rolling. Not only that but Bobby Cannavale surprisingly steals the show as Irving and I hope to see more of him the next season of this hacking thriller.
The Punisher – Probably the only Marvel show that did the character more justice than his previous incarnations played by Dolph Lundgren and Thomas Jane, this is the show that shows why The Punisher should be like this and with an interesting supporting cast and engaging storylines. Jon Bernthal became sold as the character even though I thought he wasn’t given that I’ve seen him previous in The Walking Dead and his backstory is more contemporary and worth it in a world that is about to have its Infinity War which something tells me that he and the cast of other Marvel Netflix shows might not participate in. I don’t know, I think of those as its own thing.
Happy! – I nearly forgot to put this one on the list mainly because this show came out last month and well, you can expand a Grant Morrison-written mini-series into a mindfuck of a show with Christopher Meloni not giving a fuck if he plays a hated detective being partnered up with an imaginary flying unicorn voiced by Patton Oswalt. It shows dark comedy, chaotic action and strange moments (like a out-of-nowhere cameo from Jerry Springer of all people) that only Brian Taylor of Crank fame can deliver and it shows that it’s not made as a cash-in to the success of other television series based on comics like Preacher so Detective Stabler, go act crazy on us.
Stranger Things – A show that I used I put in 2016 list but didn’t. Uh, no worries. I’m catching up to it and with the second season that proves to up the ante with new additions to the cast like Sean Astin and Paul Reiser, twists and turns like Steve Harrington becoming the hero of the piece and more nostalgic feeling with Ghostbusters and Duran Duran. It also capture the same essence that a sequel can be as good as the first especially when it involves the eighties. I only hope this season is not the show at its peak and the next being good as well so fingers crossed on this one.
American Gods – Oh, how am I gonna be sad about this show with the second season not having Bryan Fuller and Michael Green as showrunners. I generally like his take on Neil Gaiman’s novel that is expanded in greater detail. While Ian McShane deserves the praise as the mysterious Mr Wednesday, the show did have stealing moments from Gillian Anderson and Crispin Glover along with few other stars in between. It’s even a show so good that Dane Cook even has moments. I didn’t expect to write something like that. I don’t know if this show will sustain the same power with Fuller and Green being kind of involved but if not, it is good while it lasted I guess.
“Humble” by Kendrick Lamar – Kendrick kind of has a habit of making music that came out of nowhere and it’s a good thing since when he hits the mainstream with Swimming Pools (Drank), we expect something different. A few albums and singles later, he gave us DAMN. which proves there is still good to hip-hop genre that doesn’t involve selling out and dumbing down like Snoop Dogg, Eminem and Busta Rhymes went to and this song is definition of it. There’s not much else to say but well, damn indeed.
“The Sky Is A Neighborhood” by Foo Fighters – How many times have I put Foo Fighters on the list? I don’t know but I’m not gonna check. Moving on and while Run is them coming back and show they are not “daddy rock” band they are accused out to be, this song however shows the band’s evolution in these troubling times. With the video of them in the rooftop playing with their Village of the Damned-esque eyes and the hook that’s surprisingly different, this song has its place in alternative rock that Imagine Dragons will never have (yeah, I don’t know why Imagine Dragons suck now and more than ever).
Heavy Black Heart by death’s dynamic shroud – This feels like I’m repeating what I like in 2016 to what I like in 2017 as well as dds (formerly dds.wmv) felt like that sign. However, this album has James Webster, Tech Honors and Keith Rankin working together for the first time and bring a legitimate follow-up to I’ll Try Living Like This by adding vaporwave touches with glitches and samples involved including one from Lana Del Rey that caught my ear the first second her voice appears. If there release another one this coming year, I don’t know if I’ll play it on Best of 2018 list but anything is possible.
Add Violence by Nine Inch Nails – Continuing the trilogy that started with Not The Actual Events and how it continues is a soundscape of unexpectecy with Less Than giving a future synth feel that I think I only heard once in a Starfuckers, Inc. remix to The Background World that ended on broken record note with audio compression that has nightmare fuel recorded over it. Again, it felt like a repeat to 2017 and the trilogy is due to complete within this year so Trent Reznor has yet to run out of ideas.
Dark Knights: Metal – I thought this is gonna be a weak DC crossover in a similar way they did with Convergence which the story is basically Batman and Justice League fought an evil team of alternate Batmans from the dark multiverse but I thought wrong. It felt more like I read an actual crossover that harkens back to the 1990s but done properly with one-shots explaining how this Batman became his own enemy in The Batman Who Laughs or how Bruce Wayne can handle as Green Lantern even right after his parent’s death and it shows differences and a bit of multiversal technobabble. The event is yet to finish up but for now DC has proven me wrong on this which reminds me of the next one.
Doomsday Clock – Back when DC decides to throw a prequel that is Before Watchmen, fans became outraged about touching something that should not be touched and I was honestly one of them. Now, they decide to do it again but continuing from the mystery started with DC Universe: Rebirth with a set of Watchmen characters old and new encountering the heroes of main DCU. I hope Geoff Johns knows what he is doing and I like him since he does bring something up his sleeves in the past that I didn’t expect like the DNA reveal of Superboy in Teen Titans as one example. So Watchmen invades the DCU? I wonder how that’s gonna go.
Star Trek: The Next Generation – Mirror Broken – If there’s one thing I didn’t list this year, it’s Star Trek: Discovery and part of the reason is because I am still in question on whether this show is a good idea or not. The second half of the first season is due to come out soon so while I keep an open mind, I should bring up that Mirror Broken is an idea that should not really exists since it takes place shortly before the Mirror Universe events in Deep Space Nine so how is there Imperial Starship led by Picard with twisted versions of his crew? I don’t know but it got me entertained that I want more of this.
That’s my list and I hope I didn’t forget something. Now we’re on to the rocky start of this new year, I guess it’s a usual case of me looking at Jeff Fahey movies next so other than that, let’s hope we have a year where I’m finally done with some looking back to my past reviews, more on Bibleman and maybe more antics from Tommy Wiseau. Oh, and something a movie that involves Sharks that isn’t called Sharknado.
January 1, 2018 § Leave a comment
It’s that time of year again where I’ll give my usual opinions on what I like and what I either hate or dislike and outside of Politics, Tragedies and Multiple Celebrity Scandals, 2017 is not really a bad year. Not a good year as well but hey, I thought this year is gonna really suck big time so I didn’t somewhat expect the opposite.
Bright – Oh god, why did I watch this? While I’m gladfully didn’t see the horrors that is The Emoji Movie and The Mummy, I did took my time watching this and this movie is incredibly boring. I feel no emotions watching this other than thinking about something else and I wish I watch a different movie where Will Smith partners up with somebody that’s nothing like Will Smith to defeat those that doesn’t respect any form of law and well, there’s already basically seven movies with that plot. And the social commentary didn’t really work that even Chance the Rapper could see it on twitter. I don’t think that’s much explaining except that it may not be as more boring as After Earth but it is within that path.
Sandy Wexler – Is it surprising that I have seen this movie and almost forget about it afterwards. This is just another Adam Sandler movie with the same humorous tropes, celebrity cameos and whatever. It’s also a period piece which Adam may have done before in The Wedding Singer but here, it hardly screams 1990s unless you see a Timecop movie billboard or Weird Al Yankovic making a cameo looking himself back in that time so honestly, had this movie set in early 2000s or early 2010s, only a very little has changed. I don’t know, it’s another year where Adam dropped a bad movie but this time, it’s a bad movie that is as forgettable as the name of his previous album.
Iron Fist – What started with the greatest that is Daredevil and Jessica Jones has ended with the problems with not just this show but also The Defenders in terms of Marvel Cinematic Universe television series. While The Defenders did at least did something that made me binge-watch it all the way through, I took my time watching this from start to finish but in weeks of getting to the finale rather than days. Finn Jones at least tried his best but with sloppy scriptwriting, bad fighting scenes and little originality, he didn’t do good enough. But the blame of this goes more to Scott Buck who’s not a very good showrunner and it’s not just this show and Inhumans (which to anybody’s surprise that I haven’t watched) but he’s the guy who’s involved in the less-favorite kind of seasons of Dexter especially the final season so Dexter Morgan as a lumberjack, you gonna thanks Scott Buck for that.
“Shape Of You” By Ed Sheeran – It is about time that I’m mentioning the global superstar that is Ed Sheeran because despite me hearing about him for several years, I am surprised that I didn’t mention him until this year. Yeah, I’m not a fan of this guy and don’t get why he is popular enough to collaborate with Eminem of all people but beyond that, I hated Shape Of You for a good reason. It’s a song that’s heard literally everywhere, it can’t escape my 33-year old head for a while. The video itself is not making it any better with Ed trying to be a champion to his girl only to end the video with him being defeated in the most ridiculous way possible. I hate this song, this video, this hook and this whatever. And it is sad that the only time I defend Ed is due to his criticized cameo in Game of Thrones, a show I don’t really watch but really… people are bitching about his role in the show? Weird.
“Something Just Like This” by The Chainsmokers & Coldplay – Just what 2017 needed, a collaboration between the guys who gave us “Selfie” and the guys who gave U2 a run for the most band to really break-up. This team-up is pathetic to the point that Chris Martin namedrops Superman more awkward than Charlie Puth and with a lyric video that made me change the channel a split second. Who was really asking for this really and what’s next? Nickelback teaming up with David Guetta? Yeah, I wish The Chainsmokers won’t come back in 2018. Coldplay on the other hand, yeah, they are inescapable so my wish for them to go away is meaningless.
“Look What You Made Me Do” by Taylor Swift – Won’t talk much about this but I do have one thing to say – this song is so bad that it damaged Right Said Fred’s discography all because of a interpolated sample… and I don’t really know why I am saying that but Taylor Swift, did Kanye West hurt you enough to become a more-egotistical pop star? Uh, moving on.
Everything Now by Arcade Fire – I really do wish this is not on the list but this album is really bad. There is few good tracks admittedly but the album is a bad move for the band by satirizing them selling out to the point where fans and non-fans are missing the satirical subtleties. What happened to you guys? You gave us the gloomy masterpieces that is Funeral and The Suburbs and now you decide to do pop songs? Why? Again, it has few good tracks like Put Your Money On Me but it’s a badly constructed album with a message that should have worked in paper but didn’t and the worst part is the band can’t handle criticism much so again, why?
Secret Empire – This one is gonna be interesting to explain. Now, the way I placed this mini-series on this list is not due to the fact that it has “Cap is Hydra” controversy that makes some fans think Marvel supports Neo-Nazis and Alt-Right, no because I knew that Nick Spencer might be planning to cop this out and became open-minded to see how this series goes. The reason I put on the list is really how this series goes since it’s surprisingly worst than Civil War with its real world gritiness that Nick slammed on Twitter and its sloppy writing skills. I can’t lie when I say that I hate comic events that feels very close to home and comic book is supposed to be part of the medium that separates fiction from reality. Also, again with the cosmic cube? Age of Ultron did it better.
So yeah, this list is not much since I haven’t seen much bad movies or shows or hear bad music but mainly because again, 2017 is not much a bad year. Say what you will but hey, there’s more good stuff I can list within this week even with stuff that I didn’t expect to list it there.
December 24, 2017 § Leave a comment
This is gonna be an interesting way to review a Christmas movie and I hope to not be any offense in why I’m saying it here. Now it is definite that Christmas is not the only festive holiday to occur in December since there’s other holidays made in case of religious and non-religious reasons. Whether it’s Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus or Life Day, we are all individuals celebrate our own holiday that we’re born and raised in and one individual is none other than Steve Guttenberg, an actor and comedian who is raised Jewish. Now I only know him in movies and television instead of knowing him personally so whether he celebrates Christmas or Hanukkah is his right and that even includes the notion that he’s playing the son of Santa Claus in not one but two movies.
One of which I’m reviewing this year which is Single Santa Seeks Mrs Claus brought to you by Harvey Frost who kind of have the most Christmas-y name I ever head and not only he direct this and the sequel but he also directed other Christmas fares like A Grandpa For Christmas, All I Want For Christmas, Let It Snow and Battle of the Bulbs so hey, it looks like I got enough Christmas material in the next few years. He has also directed other movies which notably include The Sex And Violence Family Hour starring Jim Carrey and Golf Punks starring Tom Arnold. I don’t know if the last one is notable given that Tom is anything but worth mentioning anyway but I digress.
Steve plays Nick who is about to face his challenge which if you haven’t guess by the title is him finding the love of his life. He does this because his father Santa (John Wheeler) wants to retire and give his business to his son and Santa’s assistant Ernest (Armin Shimerman) gave Nick a list of candidates which all are located in California, none of which is single mother and businesswoman Beth (Crystal Bernard) who is overworked to the point of finding an actor playing Santa in commercials and missing much of her time with her son Jake (Dominic Scott Kay). Also, Beth stopped believing in Christmas at her young age since her wanting her father to come back is never fulfilled so that’s a reason why she’s not a chosen candidate.
With Nick meeting all of his candidates, he noticed Beth during the filming of a commercial and decide to help a child actor out with her performance, a help that lands him to act in commercials which he does before he leaves on Christmas Eve. He and Beth first hit it off as friends before Nick falls for her and tries to convince her to believe in Christmas. Whether it’s putting up Christmas lights or Jedi mind-controlled a Mall Santa to do sign language, her belief is not yet found until he spills the beans about his origins. Beth kicks him out but after thinking about what he said, she writes a letter to Santa to wish for Nick to come back and well, the movie ends with that wish coming true.
It is a fairly decent movie and best watched for all ages but there is some parts that I have to discuss. One is that at times this movie felt like it has a bit of Stranger Danger undertones with the way Nick is behaving. When he first met Beth, he helped a child actor out and then he either hangs with Jake more than Beth or hangs with other kids whether it’s by reading at library or attending a basketball game. In addition, he doesn’t reveal his last name to everybody including his information so had somebody took the Christmas message out, it almost felt like I’m watching a movie where Steve Guttenberg plays an escaped child predator.
But it is a Christmas movie and there are Christmas messages so at least writer Pamela Wallace knows what she’s doing. After all, she’s also the writer of um, 1985’s Witness starring Harrison Ford! Well, how she went from a memorable movie to this is beyond me. The movie really has some hammy dialogue, few product placements and cheesy moments but it’s not all bad really so it’s at least watchable despite what I said. So anyway, if you want a Christmas movie starring Steve Guttenberg, this is one of them so do check it out. So Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays this season.
November 30, 2017 § Leave a comment
Oh boy. Well, given that Thor: Ragnarok came out this month, I thought I am glad that I’m reviewing this because it’s the last Superhero movie made by TomCat Films (or Summer Hill Entertainment since they now acquired those movies) but I’m not glad because it turns out I’m a dumbass by forgetting that there’s also one more movie I didn’t check which is The Black Knight Returns. Uh, what can I say? I might be confusing it with The Black Bat Rises but it’s two different movies so yeah, I am stuck with TomCat Superhero Cinematic Universe for one more movie.
I’ll get to that one sometime next year but for now, let me look at what is possibly the most schlocky, low-budget superhero movie I’ve seen to date. And really, that’s expected since I already seen the other movies but as much as The Amazing Bulk is a work of weird as fuck and few others have their own sense of quality, this one is cheap from start to finish and it’s laughably bad. To obviously know how bad this movie is, it starts with five minutes of opening logos and the slowest opening crawl with a narration that sounds like it’s recorded in the bathroom.
Following the opening crawl that makes the one in Alone In The Dark start normal, the movie then cuts to Asgard looks like it’s located in Aurora Borealis?!? Anyway, Odin (Jurgen Vollrath) and Thor (Brett Kelly) appears as floating heads talking to each other even though they look like they are talking to us the audience. They explained that Ragnarok is coming and it’s caused by a group known Dauoi Raisa/The Death Risers as led by Evan (Jody Haucke) who’s tracking down three amulets to make up that Dragon’s Cross that brings Hel (Gabrielle Mackenzie) to Earth and be less over-the-top than her counterpart in the better Thor movie.
Meanwhile, Grant Farrel (Ray Besharah) and his friend Earl (Randy Kimmett) are working on a government suit that looks a bit like dollar-store version of War Machine suit with horns. Grant himself got struck by lightning by Thor because he is a current descendant of the God of Thunder and decides to take the mantle as the hero. The new Thor (or Thunderstorm which the movie should have been called Thunderstorm: The Offspring Of Thor or something) is trained by Earl with controlling his powers and got noticed by Detective Glenda Bronski (Celine Filion) who she and Grant became a “buddy cop” type duo defeating Hel, The Death Risers and a CGI Dragon that looks like James Nguyen is secretly involved in this.
In terms of superhero origin stories, it’s okay but felt like I’m watching a loose origin of Firestorm at one point and loose origin of Iron Man on the other. Granted, it’s a Thor movie and there is Norse mythology involved. The acting is atrocious but is fine as Hel right down to probably the only character wearing a probable outfit. The action scenes and effects is meh and lastly, the humor felt forced with Grant trying out his own superhero catchphrase but it didn’t work.
My say to this is if you wanna see an obscure bad superhero movie, this is up there but if you expect so-bad-its-good, expect elsewhere so now I am on to one more Superhero movie and then I would say I am done with TomCat Films but there’s a bunch I want to look at so yeah, no escaping that one.
October 18, 2017 § Leave a comment
So getting into another “Early Thoughts On” article and as much as I have my say on Heathers being rebooted as a television series, that is a little thing compared to something that is so much worth bitching about that it caused my schedule to delay for a few weeks. Admittedly, I also suffer personal problems which I won’t get into but other than that, it has been a while since I am hating on a theatrical reboot in the same anger I have when I saw Total Recall. Before I get to the reboot, I perhaps should start on the basis of it which is the original Death Wish movie franchise.
Now the first Death Wish movie was released in 1974 as based on a novel by Brian Garfield. Despite some changes to the source material, it became a surprise hit that it gained four sequels including the last one which is compared to The Dead Pool in that it has campiness right down to Paul Kemsey killing one of the criminals by using a remote-controlled exploding soccer ball. In my personal opinion, I liked those five movies and it’s just plain fiction involving vigilantism even right down to the ridiculousness of the last one.
And despite Brian’s displeasure, he did wrote a second novel called Death Sentence which focused on his take on Paul Kemsey that differed from his theatrical counterpart. Which in a way is funny since the novel became a loose basis of the movie starring Kevin Bacon, equally good if I should add my personal opinion. So yeah, I like the Death Wish series and like Death Sentence adaptation and like I said, it’s just fiction that might had its own political commentary that didn’t impact me. So now what do I had to say about the upcoming reboot starring Bruce Willis? I should say that I prefer to watch Hudson Hawk instead.
Really, this movie is a bad idea from the get-go and made in a more difficult time in terms of politics and recent happenings like the shooting in Las Vegas. It also a major development hell since it began back in 2006 with Sylvester Stallone tapped to direct and star in it but left due to creative differences. And then Joe Carnahan comes in to give his take with Liam Neeson and Frank Grillo set to star, he left but his script is left behind with Gerardo Naranjo replacing the filmmaker. And then he left and got replaced by Aharon Keshales & Navot Papushado. And then they left due to not have their script rewrites allowed by the studio so now we have Eli Roth as the definitive director for this. So Eli Roth is directing the remake, yeah, that’s already a no-no for me.
The reason why is I actually dislike Eli and I have seen Cabin Fever and the first two Hostel movies to know my dislikeness. Even his acting chops didn’t help so I have to wonder why the guy who gave us the meaning of “torture porn” be the guy to remake Death Wish. And the obvious answer might be because money and MGM really are desperate to piss Brian Garfield in this day and age but they also didn’t expect to piss everybody off as well which thanks to the trailer release, everybody lost it big time and throw political rants at it. I have never seen anything like this but this movie might be so bad that it’s not because of Eli Roth but because of politics.
And Bruce Willis as Paul Kersey who’s now a doctor instead of architect because… just because! He is not fitted as the character, he may be a well-known action hero but I do have to confess and say this, Bruce Willis hasn’t been a good star in a long while. Yeah, he might have good roles every now and then but after Get Free or Die Hard and the Red series plus his attitude which caused him to get fired from The Expendables 3, he is already not the same Bruce Willis we cheered back in the 1980s and 1990s. And he is now doing movies for paychecks so really, how low can he go when a DVD set of movies we didn’t know he starred in is in the bargain bin section.
The supporting cast is puzzling as well. We get Vincent D’Onofrio as his brother Frank, a character not in previous franchises unless one can count that this is a reiteration of Detective Frank Ochoa from the first two movies. Dean Norris and Kimberly Elise are in the case as Detective Rains and Jackson respectively which is not much but Dean did explain he likes being typecast as authority-led characters so at least he’s doing something after the cancellation of Under The Dome. Mike Epps and Elisabeth Shue is in this but I can tell that their roles are hardly gotta be used even for Shue whose character is gonna get killed off so Elisabeth, you were in Leaving Las Vegas so how could you say yes to a movie in which your role is shorter than the others.
The last actor I should add is Beau Knapp as the main villain of the piece and well, he might do good since any actor who plays a villain in Death Wish series has some memorability. Jeff Goldblum and Lawrence Fishburne are notable examples and Michael Parks as well for the last movie so off all the casting calls, I think the only positive is the villain of this and that is gonna sad if I’m gonna predestined to hate the movie where the only good thing is the bad guy.
I mentioned development hell earlier and what I’m gonna say is not helping much matter but last week, the movie that was scheduled to be released next month is now moved to March of next year. Now it might because of the shooting that I brought up earlier, the studio make a right decision on delaying the movie to a later date. But to be honest, I think it should be delayed indefinitely instead because the world is right now in a dangerous place and I dislike shootings but what would happen if there’s another one coming up, would the studio delay it again? I don’t know but outside of my dislikeness on the material and the cast, I think this movie should be cancelled or have a quieter release.
Everybody has already ranted on this and many are triggered by its content so if I were in a studio, I would burn the copy of it and not let it see the light of day. Then again, my words wouldn’t work anyway because in the end, we all know Hollywood is being Hollywood and will continue to be that way even after the recent Harvey Weinstein controversy so I’m a unpaid reviewer whose say is not gonna help fix the issue of this movie and everything else. I might speak my opinion but it’s not gonna start world peace or similar, I’m just one man bitching about the movie and the way the world works right now. So to end this topic, the only thing I should say is uh, wait for The Punisher to come out instead. I think I became a hypocrite after saying that but again, it’s fictional vigilantism plus Netflix is being good with Marvel stuff… except maybe Iron Fist! I think I should get to reviewing now.
September 16, 2017 § Leave a comment
It has been a while since I have done my early thoughts on anything but given the crap that has already come out like The Emoji Movie or will come out like Young Sheldon, there is stuff to talk about on anything really. And in this one, I’m looking into a television series reboot to a 1988 black comedy classic Heathers… a reboot that should forever remain in development hell! The 1988 movie focuses on Veronica who falls for reckless student J.D. while she’s being somewhat friends with three students all whom their first name is Heather. But given J.D.’s attitude, he and Veronica decide to be killers to those three girls along with few others.
It was made way before the uncomfortable events that is the 1999 Columbine shooting and its similar killings after that, it’s a movie that wouldn’t work today given the content. However, it is getting a television show so clearly this type of School Murder is back in fashion. Then again, Scream got itself a television series reboot so I don’t know, maybe there’s hope for a reboot of O starring Josh Harnett. The movie was written by Daniel Waters who wrote other stuff like Hudson Hawk, Batman Returns and Demolition Man. And it was directed by Michael Lehmann… who directed Hudson Hawk!
Now to talk about the reboot and it has been in the works since 2009 with networks shifting and changing plots. To start off with the writers, the series will be written by Jason who wrote a few stuff I don’t know about but is an executive producer for Michael Shannon/Kevin Spacey movie Elvis & Nixon. So far so good, I guess. As for the executive producers, I know television shows had more than one so just going with two, we have Tom Rosenberg who has made crap. Okay, he made few good stuff but he’s the guy whose work includes Underworld movies, Gamer, I, Frankenstein and that forgettable Aeon Flux adaptation.
The other executive producer is Gary Lucchesi whom pretty done the same shit as Tom. Yeah, leave the reboot to the two guys who’s responsible for The Ugly Truth. Hey, why not get Len Wiseman as well? He’s doing great for Lucifer… oh wait, I avoid that show like the cancer that is his re-adaptation of Total Recall so don’t hire that guy. Maybe I should get to the cast instead so what’s the deal with the duo playing Veronica and J.D.? I have seen Grace Victoria Cox in Under The Dome so maybe she’s okay as Veronica. And James Scully as J.D.? I don’t know since he started acting last year so who knows.
As for those who played the three Heathers. This would be interesting to talk about. First we have Jasmine Matthews playing Heather McNamara and it’s her first role so maybe she’ll do well. We have Melanie Field as Heather Chandler and she recently started acting so again, maybe she’s cool. And then we have Heather Duke played by Brendan Scannell. Now before I get to how the characters were done for the series, I should bring up that the casting is different and diversed right down to one of the Heathers being played by a male actor and there’s a reason for it.
While the original movie has three Heathers that are rich, posh females, the series altered them greatly by having Heather McNamara as a African-American lesbian, Heather Chandler being described as “having a body like Martha Dumptruck” (that’s what the press release & news articles has mentioned so I’m guessing the word “plus size” is non-existent to them or something) and Heather Duke be a genderqueer. And I don’t mind these changes, we are living in progressive times and I’m a very open-minded person when it comes to this. I however am puzzled by the fact on how the story is setting now. Besides Heather Chandler, both McNamara and Duke fall to LGBT+ community so by that logic, it means that Veronica and J.D. had being revamped as cisgender, heterosexual serial killers. And this is the point where I’m now concerned about how the reboot is being played out.
Now if they follow the movie template, we know that Heather Duke will survive but still, it’s two straight people killing two Heathers, one of which is a lesbian. Speaking of Heather Duke, Shannen Doherty is in the show and possibly reprising her character from the movie so like Poltergeist remake and the upcoming Flatliners reboot, it’s the “new material being subtly canon with the old material” trick… in a weird way since let me put to you like this, both Heather McNamara and Heather Chandler in the movie died so um, how do they have offsprings with the same first & last name? Was there a teenage pregnancy plot I didn’t know? Maybe the three new Heathers are related to original Heather Duke? This reboot that’s possibly canon to the movie is now confusing as fuck.
And in case we have Shannen in the show, Selma Blair is also in the show so yeah, I’m now thinking of Cruel Intentions than Heathers in this topic. Her character is not mentioned and I look into other casts and some are newcomers while few are not. Heck, I didn’t mention that Brendan is not a newcomer but whatever, Heathers is now a show where heterosexual still needs to be a thing so fuck, let’s kill a girl who’s into girls, a girl who’s into food (?) and a guy who’s a Mx. This show is now set to becoming as dangerous as 13 Reasons Why.
So yeah, I don’t know if I’ll watch it and it’s not just the way it played out but again, I’ve seen the teaser and it look horrid from the get-go so I give this a season or less. Now that I’m talking about one reboot, I think I’m cool with talking about another shortly and before anybody ask, it’s not the genderswapped re-adaptation of Lord of the Flies. It’s something else that actually pissed me though.