Single Santa Seeks Mrs Claus

December 24, 2017 § Leave a comment

This is gonna be an interesting way to review a Christmas movie and I hope to not be any offense in why I’m saying it here. Now it is definite that Christmas is not the only festive holiday to occur in December since there’s other holidays made in case of religious and non-religious reasons. Whether it’s Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus or Life Day, we are all individuals celebrate our own holiday that we’re born and raised in and one individual is none other than Steve Guttenberg, an actor and comedian who is raised Jewish. Now I only know him in movies and television instead of knowing him personally so whether he celebrates Christmas or Hanukkah is his right and that even includes the notion that he’s playing the son of Santa Claus in not one but two movies.

One of which I’m reviewing this year which is Single Santa Seeks Mrs Claus brought to you by Harvey Frost who kind of have the most Christmas-y name I ever head and not only he direct this and the sequel but he also directed other Christmas fares like A Grandpa For Christmas, All I Want For Christmas, Let It Snow and Battle of the Bulbs so hey, it looks like I got enough Christmas material in the next few years. He has also directed other movies which notably include The Sex And Violence Family Hour starring Jim Carrey and Golf Punks starring Tom Arnold. I don’t know if the last one is notable given that Tom is anything but worth mentioning anyway but I digress.

Steve plays Nick who is about to face his challenge which if you haven’t guess by the title is him finding the love of his life. He does this because his father Santa (John Wheeler) wants to retire and give his business to his son and Santa’s assistant Ernest (Armin Shimerman) gave Nick a list of candidates which all are located in California, none of which is single mother and businesswoman Beth (Crystal Bernard) who is overworked to the point of finding an actor playing Santa in commercials and missing much of her time with her son Jake (Dominic Scott Kay). Also, Beth stopped believing in Christmas at her young age since her wanting her father to come back is never fulfilled so that’s a reason why she’s not a chosen candidate.

With Nick meeting all of his candidates, he noticed Beth during the filming of a commercial and decide to help a child actor out with her performance, a help that lands him to act in commercials which he does before he leaves on Christmas Eve. He and Beth first hit it off as friends before Nick falls for her and tries to convince her to believe in Christmas. Whether it’s putting up Christmas lights or Jedi mind-controlled a Mall Santa to do sign language, her belief is not yet found until he spills the beans about his origins. Beth kicks him out but after thinking about what he said, she writes a letter to Santa to wish for Nick to come back and well, the movie ends with that wish coming true.

It is a fairly decent movie and best watched for all ages but there is some parts that I have to discuss. One is that at times this movie felt like it has a bit of Stranger Danger undertones with the way Nick is behaving. When he first met Beth, he helped a child actor out and then he either hangs with Jake more than Beth or hangs with other kids whether it’s by reading at library or attending a basketball game. In addition, he doesn’t reveal his last name to everybody including his information so had somebody took the Christmas message out, it almost felt like I’m watching a movie where Steve Guttenberg plays an escaped child predator.

But it is a Christmas movie and there are Christmas messages so at least writer Pamela Wallace knows what she’s doing. After all, she’s also the writer of um, 1985’s Witness starring Harrison Ford! Well, how she went from a memorable movie to this is beyond me. The movie really has some hammy dialogue, few product placements and cheesy moments but it’s not all bad really so it’s at least watchable despite what I said. So anyway, if you want a Christmas movie starring Steve Guttenberg, this is one of them so do check it out. So Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays this season.


Asylum Seeker: Thunderstorm: The Return Of Thor

November 30, 2017 § Leave a comment

Oh boy. Well, given that Thor: Ragnarok came out this month, I thought I am glad that I’m reviewing this because it’s the last Superhero movie made by TomCat Films (or Summer Hill Entertainment since they now acquired those movies) but I’m not glad because it turns out I’m a dumbass by forgetting that there’s also one more movie I didn’t check which is The Black Knight Returns. Uh, what can I say? I might be confusing it with The Black Bat Rises but it’s two different movies so yeah, I am stuck with TomCat Superhero Cinematic Universe for one more movie.

I’ll get to that one sometime next year but for now, let me look at what is possibly the most schlocky, low-budget superhero movie I’ve seen to date. And really, that’s expected since I already seen the other movies but as much as The Amazing Bulk is a work of weird as fuck and few others have their own sense of quality, this one is cheap from start to finish and it’s laughably bad. To obviously know how bad this movie is, it starts with five minutes of opening logos and the slowest opening crawl with a narration that sounds like it’s recorded in the bathroom.

Following the opening crawl that makes the one in Alone In The Dark start normal, the movie then cuts to Asgard looks like it’s located in Aurora Borealis?!? Anyway, Odin (Jurgen Vollrath) and Thor (Brett Kelly) appears as floating heads talking to each other even though they look like they are talking to us the audience. They explained that Ragnarok is coming and it’s caused by a group known Dauoi Raisa/The Death Risers as led by Evan (Jody Haucke) who’s tracking down three amulets to make up that Dragon’s Cross that brings Hel (Gabrielle Mackenzie) to Earth and be less over-the-top than her counterpart in the better Thor movie.

Meanwhile, Grant Farrel (Ray Besharah) and his friend Earl (Randy Kimmett) are working on a government suit that looks a bit like dollar-store version of War Machine suit with horns. Grant himself got struck by lightning by Thor because he is a current descendant of the God of Thunder and decides to take the mantle as the hero. The new Thor (or Thunderstorm which the movie should have been called Thunderstorm: The Offspring Of Thor or something) is trained by Earl with controlling his powers and got noticed by Detective Glenda Bronski (Celine Filion) who she and Grant became a “buddy cop” type duo defeating Hel, The Death Risers and a CGI Dragon that looks like James Nguyen is secretly involved in this.

In terms of superhero origin stories, it’s okay but felt like I’m watching a loose origin of Firestorm at one point and loose origin of Iron Man on the other. Granted, it’s a Thor movie and there is Norse mythology involved. The acting is atrocious but is fine as Hel right down to probably the only character wearing a probable outfit. The action scenes and effects is meh and lastly, the humor felt forced with Grant trying out his own superhero catchphrase but it didn’t work.

My say to this is if you wanna see an obscure bad superhero movie, this is up there but if you expect so-bad-its-good, expect elsewhere so now I am on to one more Superhero movie and then I would say I am done with TomCat Films but there’s a bunch I want to look at so yeah, no escaping that one.

Janu-Fahey Couch Potato Week: Legends Of Tomorrow

November 24, 2017 § Leave a comment

As we are closing to the week, I thought of going with something very recent and surprisingly, it’s one of the shows that’s part of DC and The CW’s Belantiverse/Flarrowverse/Arrowverse line. Yeah, they should go with DC Television Universe or similar given that Supergirl kind of takes place in its own continuity. But I’m talking more about Legends of Tomorrow which may not be its own Justice League show but hey, we have a character played by an actor who once played Superman.

The show focuses on a group of lesser-known heroes and villains who unite by future time-traveler Rip Hunter (Arthur Darvill) to stop the anomalies and apparitions that is damaging their own timeline. While he time-spliced himself across time and space during the second season with the others, it didn’t take long before the team reunited with the aid of Nate Heywood/Steel (Nick Zano) who knows history of superheroes and Rory/Heatwave (Dominic Purcell) who is left-behind in the timeship known as Waverider. The team then tries to solve the issues caused by The Legion of Doom that’s led by Eobard Thawne/Reverse Flash (Matt Letscher). Good way to sum up this second season even though the episode I’m reviewing focused anything other than The Legion of Doom.

In the episode entitled Outlaw Country, The team discover the apparition in 1874 and travels there before encountering their friend Jonah Hex (Johnathon Schaech) is facing his doom as he’s about to get hanged, they stopped it and found out that the cause of the apparition is none other than Quentin Turnbull (Jeff Fahey) who had stolen a dwarf star from a now-deceased time pirate and uses it to form his home country. Also, Quentin is possibly not related to Malcolm Turnbull who’s currently a Prime Minister of Australia (and a worst one at best, equally as worst as Tony Abbott and John Howard).

Jonah also revealed that Quentin is the reason he got his scars and for the destruction of a town in Oklahoma so Jonah has his own vendetta against him. The team hatches out a plan to stop the apparition from happening so Nate, Ray Palmer/The Atom (Brandon Routh) and Jax/Firestorm (Franz Drameh) infiltrate while Rory and Amaya (Maisie Richardson-Sellers) work together because… Rory is into the Wild West! Hey, Rory used to (or still is) steal stuff for his sake of fun after all.

They eventually stopped it with Nate putting a stop to the train with his powers and Jonah capturing Quentin alive rather than dead so the timeline is saved until what happens in the next episode (or after since the next episode is part of Invasion! crossover event). Legends is one of the two Arrowverse shows I watched regularly along with The Flash (but also watch Supergirl and Arrow only as a binge-watching DVD box set) and it’s obvious since I like time travel stuff.

Jeff did well as the villain of the week but it is a shame we might not see him again. We might see Jonah Hex again since come on, he’s a fan-favorite character in both this show and the comics (and maybe that much-disliked Josh Brolin movie as well). And this episode is pretty self-contained which doesn’t impact much on the second season’s plotline so it is best watched unless you wanna know the full story. It is over until January where I go back to his movies but for now, I am not gonna “Ragnarok and Roll| but next week, I am looking at a Thor movie that might not be best watched but who knows.

Janu-Fahey Couch Potato Week: The Marshal

November 23, 2017 § Leave a comment

On to the penultimate part of this week and it is about time I am looking at the first show that has Jeff in his regular performance rather than a guest or recurring star. In truth, I never seen The Marshal before this but I do know that it’s one of the shows that came around a period in the 1990s that focuses on leading lawman in unexpected places like one with a Texas Ranger, one with a Royal Canadian Mountain Police officer and even one with a Chinese law officer who resides in Los Angeles. It was a unique time for shows like that so why not have a guy who’s living two lives – a family man and a man who tracks down fugitives. It’s almost like it’s an idea similar to this Chris Elliott unaired pilot.

Yeah, that’s a thing that exists. Going back to The Marshal and I do wish this show would not be cancelled but it did manage to have two seasons aired within 1995 plus one episode got a Emmy… for sound editing! Also and this is true, Don Johnson is one of the executive producers of the series and he chose Jeff specifically for this series because they are actually friends. It also explained why Jeff not only guest starred in Miami Vice but also Nash Bridges so yeah, I think I got another show to look at in the near future.

The show begins in the snowy forest with a fugitive getting away from the local policeman but while he is hiding in a cabin, something awesome has happened and Winston MacBride (Jeff Fahey) appears by hiding in the snow for who knows how long. He counted the bullets on the fugitive’s gun which led to Winston deciding to waste one of the bullets by shooting it on the roof and the show falls on the fugitive which ended the chase.

But the bigger story begins as we meet Mrs Sinclair (Laura Johnson), a housewife who was living a double life in the past as a wanted radical activist. Her past actions have been found out and escapes from authorities led by Tiger Larkin (Don S. Davis) but Winston knows her ways sooner than later and caught her in a college where she’s finding her daughter Teri (Molly Parker) who got sort-of kidnapped by her father Loyal (William Russ). Meanwhile, her husband Barry (Michael Brandon) felt betrayed by her wife’s past history so he decides to commit suicide by way of house explosion.

As Mrs Sinclair later found out about the news, she and Winston were about to get on the plane but Winston knows something in her and decides to find Loyal and Teri instead. They eventually did and with the reveal that Barry is actually alive and faking his own death to reunite with his wife. Mrs Sinclair however thought of a different plan as she is herself traded as hostage to Loyal with Teri freed. Winston and Barry stayed behind waiting for Mrs Sinclair and Loyal with Winston knowing a plan by getting out of the car and telling Barry to drive off to someplace nearby.

The two escaped but immediately caught by Winston by hiding in the water and well, Loyal is not loyal to survive (pun badly intended, apologies) and Winston lets Mrs Sinclair go by telling her to go to where Barry is located. The episode ends with Winston returning home to see his family and a next week’s promo which I wish I could watch straight away.

But I’ll get back to the show soon, maybe after I’m done with Bibleman because man, this show has action, humor and even clichés like having one officer saying that “it’s just a flesh wound”. Yeah, I think he has three days left to retire as well. It is a show I want to binge-watch in a heartbeat and this episode is a fine start with few admitted flaws like a worker at the gas station looking like he belongs in a bad 1990s generation x comedy. I don’t know what’s up with that but hey, he’s only a very minor character.

So yeah, I can’t wait to look more into this with twenty-four other episodes. As for tomorrow, I am practically looking in an episode of a show I have seen twice before and the show is good well except for the recent season which I’m catching up on and… I said too soon so come back tomorrow.

Janu-Fahey Couch Potato Week: Miami Vice

November 22, 2017 § Leave a comment

Miami Vice, what is there to say about this show that hasn’t honestly been said before? It’s a show that literally defined the 1980s and is part of our pop culture mindset from the buddy cop duo of Crockett and Tubbs to the soundtrack use of Phil Collins and Glenn Frey. It is a show that made Michael Mann a household name in directors but why am I saying all this when we all know about it? I mean, come on, it is the number one show in Bratislava.

And yes, it has Jeff in this episode that I’ll review but to keep this in mind, he is not the only notable name in this said episode. This show is known to have familiar cast before they are household names like Gary Cole and Viggo Mortensen. So I’m looking at season 3 premiere episode entitled When Irish Eyes Are Crying and judging by the title, you know it involves villains that originated from Ireland and guess who shows up as one in the very first scene. It’s not Jeff obviously but again, judging by the title, the actor who showed up is none other than Liam fucking Neeson.

Liam Neeson plays Sean Carron who’s former IRA member who’s speaking at a fundraiser attended by Gina (Saundra Santiago) but the fundraising event has some unexpected party guest as a gunman appears and is shot by Gina. Saving Sean’s life, he wants to repay her by a dinner date all while the investigation is going on. Also, Sean is secretly planning something with his friend Bunny Berrigan played by the late, great Paul Gleason.

Both Crockett and Tubbs along with his team-mates check out what’s going on along with Agent Richard Cross (Daniel Gerroll) who travels from Scotland Yard to reveal to them that Sean is still a terrorist. Gina doesn’t believe them and she falls for Sean. But hey, where does Jeff fit into all this? Well, he is another villain known as Eddie Kaye who supplies weapons to Sean and Bunny all while laughing a bazooka towards Crockett’s car as a test.

And yes, Sean and Bunny are planning to blow up the Concorde as their way of terrorist revolution and with Agent Cross and Eddie involved. The heroes take down Eddie and Bunny and arrested Cross for previous night’s phone call conversation. As for Gina, she attempts to stop Sean from bringing down the plane and he did before he is about to shoot Gina only for him to get shot by both her and Crockett ending the episode with him falling to the ground and Gina in tears that her lover is not whom she thinks.

It’s a solid episode and while it started changing from previous two seasons, I don’t mind that since the show may have its ups and downs but isn’t any show having the same thing anyway. There’s not much negative points and a usual police procedural story but with heavy weaponry involved so Law and Order? They don’t have one episode where Principal Vernon tries to shoot the cops so give it that.

Okay, maybe Jeff’s performance is a bit minimal but he did have part of the story and whether his character is in it or not, it don’t matter. The story is fine either way. So as much as I hate to say it, the next review doesn’t take place in the 1980s but it’s not much big loss because tomorrow, I am looking at the first episode of The Marshal and have to wonder why this show is a cult hit of its time so until then.

Janu-Fahey Couch Potato Week: Alfred Hitchcock Presents

November 21, 2017 § Leave a comment

Continuing on and even after me looking at two episodes of a show that is not part of my expectations, I am moving on to his second Television Series role which is possibly the most easy one to look at. Granted, I could say the same for others but he starred in one show for the span of three years and is featured in Soap Opera digests and all so this is his next step and that next step is an anthology series. Alright, those are the type of shows that have actors before they gained fame or after it like Bruce Willis in one episode of The New Twilight Zone or Brad Pitt in Freddy’s Nightmares.

The anthology series he’s involved in is a 1980s revival of Alfred Hitchcock Presents and I have seen few episodes of the original plus a bunch of movies Alfred directed. Heck, I think I brought him up in my Psycho III review which is funny since both Psycho III and this episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents were both released in 1986 so I bet his agent said “Hey Jeff, you gonna be involved in something Hitchcockian so let’s see? You want this or that?” and Jeff decides to go with both because why not.

The episode is Enough Rope For Two and focuses primary on Scott (Tim Daly) who is in a relationship with Zoe (Darlanne Fluegel). As Zoe presents Scott on some television art project, Scott didn’t care much and is passionate about Zoe but she mentioned if she wants her mentally unstable cousin Ray Lee (Jeff Fahey) to come along for company. Scott declines but if you didn’t guess right now, Ray goes along anyway and it made Scott a bit of a third wheel.

And it shows as Ray goes inside the gas station and ask for a gun which well, he got it and shoot the attendant. Scott is shocked and still thinks Ray is not right. However, it’s then revealed that Ray and Zoe are not cousins but a couple going after a suitcase containing cash that Ray dropped off in a hole within the desert. A cop appears and Scott is about to panic but he plays it cool at least for a little while.

When they got there, Scott lost it and is about to kill Ray with an axe but Ray is the one with the gun so Scott is shot and died. Both Ray and Zoe continue to get the cash and as Ray got it, Zoe chops the rope off trapping Ray in the hole without the suitcase. Zoe then is about to drive off which didn’t work out since Ray has the keys so the episode ends with Zoe walking off an archive footage of Alfred Hitchcock bids farewell and to come back for the next episode.

It’s not bad and is fairly short in 23 minutes. It has a very minimal cast and is straightforward from start to finish so if you like a road trip thriller, this is up your alley and it’s not just Jeff that acts well as an antagonist but Tim and Darlanne acted well and it’s worth it as written and directed by a certain David Chase that went on to something like being the creator of some show called The Sopranos. Uh, you might have heard of it. It won some awards and stuff.

Okay, that does it all for today and tomorrow, it’s still Jeff Fahey in the eighties and oh what kind of eighties nostalgia am I about to look at. Yeah, we’re going to Miami for next one.

Janu-Fahey Couch Potato Week: One Life To Live

November 20, 2017 § Leave a comment

About time I’m getting into this and yeah, it’s a bit late to start but dammit, I promise to get back to this so here we go. Now to start off with, this is a good way to explain a bit about Janu-Fahey Couch Potato Week since this focuses on his Television work minus TV movies whether it’s his main or guest performances only. And it’s possible I might not do all of those as well tracking down because maybe it’s hard-to-find or only aired once which this one is a major example since not only is One Life To Live his acting debut but there’s several episodes of the show that not only I manage to find two with him in it but information is somewhat complicated to check. Also, I’m not a fan of daily soap opera shows.

Suffice to say, I did used to watch something like Neighbors or E-Street but no, I don’t care about Days of Our Lives, General Hospital (unless James Franco is in it) or this one so this might be the only time I look into the show and move along to better stuff. And the worst part about this is me looking at two episodes of this show might be a “review” in quotes because I don’t honestly know what’s going on or care about what’s going on. This month is starting off with me looking at something with Jeff Fahey that I don’t give a damn about so how am I gonna review this in proper? The answer is I don’t honestly know.

The first episode I’m looking at is presumably aired in September 3, 1982 and it involves a planned sabotage of the movie Blood Moon with Marco Dane (Gerald Anthony) as the director. There is honestly not much to synopsis really since I don’t really know what’s going on but Gary Corelli (Jeff Fahey) is noted as one of the suspects plus he’s related to Marco. The only episode that get out of me is that Gary felt like he wants to run away from what’s going on and he’s acting a bit like a Revhead. He probably didn’t since well, there’s another episode I’ll look at in a second but long story short, he is not responsible for stopping the movie.

As for the second episode (presumably aired in September 10, 1984), it’s now a murder mystery of sorts with a couple being married. There is honestly a little plot involving Gary since he only shows up in one scene about to have a date but as for anything else, one of the suspects is being questioned and a news reporter is about to have an affair with a millionaire. Also, there’s a paper mentioning the mob is a very specific “previously on” esque detail so it’s assuming I should catch up on this.

It may be a rough start to this week but at least the four days doesn’t involve this show. It does gain a fact that maybe I won’t look at everything Jeff stars in and it is for the best that I won’t review One Life To Live again. These types of soap are not for me and I can see the noted cliché here and there. Jeff is fine but he doesn’t really do much in these two episodes so yeah, this is best suited for fans of the show and that’s it.

I do apologize if this is how I reviewed but tomorrow, at least I’m starting to look at something self-contained and not going so stay tuned.